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care bear 1
Jesuits are the best brand of Catholics.
Posted by care bear on March 13, 2013 at 12:22 PM · Report this
3
"The name's Pope Francis, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you."
Posted by rainbird on March 13, 2013 at 12:30 PM · Report this
4
He'll have to show his papers if he goes to Arizona.

Posted by BrownBear on March 13, 2013 at 12:35 PM · Report this
emma's bee 5
“Let's not be naive, we're not talking about a simple political battle; it is a destructive pretension against the plan of God. We are not talking about a mere bill, but rather a machination of the Father of Lies that seeks to confuse and deceive the children of God.”

Thus spake Francis in 2010

http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/archive…
Posted by emma's bee on March 13, 2013 at 12:36 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 6
@3,

"Lighten up, Francis"
Posted by Urgutha Forka on March 13, 2013 at 12:36 PM · Report this
Cracker Jack 7
You just made the list, buddy.
Posted by Cracker Jack on March 13, 2013 at 12:38 PM · Report this
8
@4: I'm sure Sheriff Joe is worried about the possibility of "Anchor Popes".
Posted by rainbird on March 13, 2013 at 12:38 PM · Report this
Rhett Oracle 9
Neque clamabunt me, Argentina....
Posted by Rhett Oracle on March 13, 2013 at 12:38 PM · Report this
ArtBasketSara 10
Ah, so that's what a "more moderate" Pope will look like! Welcome to the future!?

(...or so I heard on the radio, the moderate part...not the future part; no one knows when the future will arrive!)
Posted by ArtBasketSara on March 13, 2013 at 12:39 PM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 11
Same ol', same ol'.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on March 13, 2013 at 12:39 PM · Report this
JensR 12
Oooooh and the fact that he was against liberation theology and MAY have had two other jesuits killed...
Posted by JensR http://ohyran.se on March 13, 2013 at 12:43 PM · Report this
13
So, Francine fought same-sex marriage with all her might in Argentina?

The dear girl lost that one.

I wonder what she's going to lose next?

Habeas pablum.
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on March 13, 2013 at 12:43 PM · Report this
Max Solomon 14
You take your progress where you can - 1st non-european, 1st jesuit to lead the rotting corpse of the Roman Empire.

Posted by Max Solomon on March 13, 2013 at 12:44 PM · Report this
Sweeney Agonistes 15
Also, while Jesuits might be the best brand of Catholics, let's not forget Brendan's piece on Jesuit child rapists in Alaska. http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/the-p…
Posted by Sweeney Agonistes on March 13, 2013 at 12:44 PM · Report this
16
I thought for sure Kshama Sawant was going to win this one at least.
Posted by gloomy gus on March 13, 2013 at 12:45 PM · Report this
17
Hey, I suppose electing a Hispanic is a step forward.... Somehow. Of course, he is about the whitest South American I've ever seen...
Posted by NateMan on March 13, 2013 at 12:47 PM · Report this
theophrastus 18
i'll hate myself for asking, but what's the jokey connection between this guy and "Beef (Pope)"?
Posted by theophrastus on March 13, 2013 at 12:47 PM · Report this
19
@9, you're the best.
Posted by renaekathleen on March 13, 2013 at 12:48 PM · Report this
20
@18, this guy's from Argentina, which headline writers mostly know only as a land of much cattle.
Posted by gloomy gus on March 13, 2013 at 12:50 PM · Report this
21
@17, he's second generation Italian.
Posted by GermanSausage on March 13, 2013 at 12:50 PM · Report this
fletc3her 22
There's something about a 76 year old virgin who thinks masturbation is a mortal sin talking about normal sexual development that is a bit odd.

Still, he's 76 years young. His experiences growing up in Argentina in the 40s will no doubt help him shepherd the Catholic Church through these modern times.
Posted by fletc3her on March 13, 2013 at 12:51 PM · Report this
Posted by palamedes on March 13, 2013 at 12:54 PM · Report this
Fnarf 25
@4, no he wouldn't. He's whiter than white. Most Argentinians are. The Pope is from the very sizable Argentinian-Italian community, which pretty much runs Argentina. I wouldn't be surprised if he grew up speaking Italian in the home; his parents were born in Italy.

I assume we'll be seeing lots more about his views in coming days. I've seen him described as "reform-minded", but he's also been accused of collaborating with the junta. Nazi? Radical? Presumably somewhere in between. There was zero chance of a non-anti-gay pope or a non-anti-contraception or a non-anti-woman pope; there were no such candidates, and never will be. Those people aren't even in the church anymore.

The real open question is, "does he give a shit about the poor?" (also "does he know anything about banking reform?", the dirtiest little secret in the Vatican these days).
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on March 13, 2013 at 12:55 PM · Report this
treacle 26
I feel completely popeless about this whole process... :(
Posted by treacle on March 13, 2013 at 12:56 PM · Report this
27
What's his stance on threatening children with eternal torture?
Posted by pox on March 13, 2013 at 12:56 PM · Report this
Bauhaus I 28
Another irrelevant, entitled old fuck. Don't believe that "Francis" shit either. Girl will be drippin' diamonds and munchin' prime rib and caviar.
Posted by Bauhaus I on March 13, 2013 at 12:57 PM · Report this
29
Did you honestly think the Catholic Church was going to appoint a guy who doesn't support their views?
Posted by Proteus on March 13, 2013 at 12:58 PM · Report this
Matthew Richter 30
"The name's Francis, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I'll kill you. And I don't like nobody touching my stuff. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I'll kill you. Also, I don't like nobody touching me. Now, any of you homos touch me, and I'll kill you."
Posted by Matthew Richter http://www.xomonline.com on March 13, 2013 at 12:58 PM · Report this
31
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pla…
Posted by BridgetMcCurry on March 13, 2013 at 12:58 PM · Report this
rob! 32
Time to re-read Malachi Martin's 1988 The Jesuits.

"Voltaire went to a Jesuit school. He said later that he learned Latin and nonsense."
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on March 13, 2013 at 12:59 PM · Report this
Cornichon 33
The doddering Cardinal Egan, fawning about what a good friend Francis is, did get off one good, self-deprecating line: "I feel like The Old Man and the See."

Neither Bri Wi nor one-time Seattleite George Weigel batted an eye.
Posted by Cornichon http://cornichon.org on March 13, 2013 at 12:59 PM · Report this
Rhett Oracle 34
Speaking of the Vatican banking system vis-å-vis the Pope, required reading is David A. Yallop's "In God's Name: An Investigation into the Murder of Pope John Paul I".
Posted by Rhett Oracle on March 13, 2013 at 1:01 PM · Report this
motofly 35
What did you expect? Pope James St. James? Granted that would have been fabulous but getting a Jesuit in is, to my mind, somehow significant.
Posted by motofly on March 13, 2013 at 1:02 PM · Report this
Q*bert H. Humphrey 37
I wonder what he was up to during the Dirty War. It sounds like Catholic priests in Argentina on both sides of the Dirty War were involved in killings. "Catholic priest Christian von Wernich was found guilty of complicity in 7 homicides, 42 kidnappings, and 32 instances of torture, and sentenced to life imprisonment in 2007."
Posted by Q*bert H. Humphrey on March 13, 2013 at 1:07 PM · Report this
38
Tim Minchin nails it, for every Pope, past and present.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pla…
Posted by BridgetMcCurry on March 13, 2013 at 1:07 PM · Report this
BostonFontSnob 39
Congratulations to Pope Juggalo!
Posted by BostonFontSnob on March 13, 2013 at 1:11 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 40
I for one welcome the new Torture Regime.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on March 13, 2013 at 1:12 PM · Report this
Fenrox 41
impudicitia in ingenuo crimen est, in servo necessitas, in liberto officium
Posted by Fenrox on March 13, 2013 at 1:18 PM · Report this
42
What Proteus said @29...
Not that I wouldn't be thrilled for the Catholic church to actually get with the times, but I would have been surprised if he WASN'T against abortion, birth control, and gay marriage.
Posted by KateRose on March 13, 2013 at 1:23 PM · Report this
43
I also didn't understand the "Beef Pope" nickname. To me, Argentina is tango, Carlos Gardel, and Evita Peron, primarily. Sorry, Dominic!
Posted by floater on March 13, 2013 at 1:23 PM · Report this
fletc3her 44
I think the Argentine steak houses are mostly in other countries since it wouldn't make much sense to import beef to the U.S.
Posted by fletc3her on March 13, 2013 at 1:32 PM · Report this
45
According to this, he was an active participant in the crimes of the junta:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/…
Posted by monorail on March 13, 2013 at 1:44 PM · Report this
Fnarf 46
@44, Argentinian beef is vastly superior to most American beef, since it's all grass-fed, not stuffed with corn (which cows can't digest) on feedlots. Most US steakhouses would greatly improve their offerings if they went Argentinian. In fact, America has some of the worst beef in the world -- but such huge portions!
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on March 13, 2013 at 1:46 PM · Report this
Q*bert H. Humphrey 47
My estimation of US associations/stereotypes/whatever about Argentina (discarding incorrect ones that might actually be more popular, like Pinochet or something), in roughly descending order: Evita Peron, beef (mostly from the phrase "what does that have to do with the price of beef in Argentina?"), tango, Nazis in hiding, the currency crisis of a decade ago, the Falklands War, Jorge Luis Borges, Tierra del Fuego/penguins, gauchos...
Posted by Q*bert H. Humphrey on March 13, 2013 at 1:47 PM · Report this
dwightmoodyforgetsthings 49
@37- As long as he wasn't ordaining women or marrying single sex couples, it doesn't fucking matter. The last pope was in the Nazi youth club.
Posted by dwightmoodyforgetsthings http://www.reddit.com/r/spaceclop on March 13, 2013 at 1:52 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 50
@46 is correct.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on March 13, 2013 at 2:05 PM · Report this
51
As a born (but long-lapsed) Catholic, I find it so cute when non-Catholics wring their hands over the Vatican's lack of political flexibility. It is sweet, really, of them to think that any pope would be pro-choice or support the ordination of women or married men. The whole institution of the papacy is built around denying those things. There's never going to be a Pope Gorbachev or Pope Obama to sweep the bad old days away. The church is well aware that everything is rotting behind the scenes and they're doing their best back there with wire and duct tape (on walls and on protesting mouths), but if they let the façade crumble the church will be over.
Posted by Prettybetsy on March 13, 2013 at 2:10 PM · Report this
COMTE 52
Hm, on the one hand, at least he's not ex-Hitler Youth. On the other hand, he's from Argentina, so he probably knows quite a few...
Posted by COMTE on March 13, 2013 at 2:12 PM · Report this
sperifera 54
I propose we instead refer to him as Pope McBeef.
Posted by sperifera on March 13, 2013 at 2:25 PM · Report this
Clara T 55
Argentine Pope?

NYT headline: "Argentine Church Faces ‘Dirty War’ Past"

Somebody got some 'splainin' to do ...
Posted by Clara T on March 13, 2013 at 2:29 PM · Report this
merry 56
I'll just leave this here, as I've been singing it all morning:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUspLVStP…
Posted by merry on March 13, 2013 at 2:31 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 59
Nope. 58 comments still can't make me really care who the pope is.

Sorry for the negativity. Carry on.
Posted by Matt from Denver on March 13, 2013 at 3:50 PM · Report this
dirac 61
Rare event, but I agree with Matt from Denver. Nothing can really make me care about the pope. Funny all this media hoopla over conclaves and the color of smoke every 10 years.

If I like anything catholic it's Teillard de Chardin or Teresa Avila, not some crusty representative of dead ritual. And please, about the gay stuff, it will take the pope as long as it took to see that Galileo was right after all.
Posted by dirac on March 14, 2013 at 7:41 AM · Report this
62
Why "Beef Pope"? Why not "Francis the Talking Pope"? After all, he's going to be no better than a mule...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XE3fw68vM…
Posted by Dingle Berries on March 14, 2013 at 10:23 AM · Report this
63
Why do people want to be Catholic?
Posted by Amanda on March 15, 2013 at 5:50 PM · Report this
64
The Bible says what it says, if you don't like it take it up with the author. When you characterize a person for what they believe, what does that make you? When the Bible talks about Sodom. it states they were worshiping idols and Jehovah heard the cry's of the children. Jehovah gave the adults over to a reprobate mind, then they went further into unnatural use of their body. When it comes to a child it is better to play it safe than be sorry. Every Christian is Catholic, we follow the Bible that the Catholic church approved for the world. The Catholic church is not perfect but the message is truth. Jesus Christ died on the cross so we may be forgiven our sins, that's the truth.
Posted by ckdavis8817 http://thegodprinciples.wordpress.com on April 12, 2013 at 7:28 AM · Report this

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