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Also, if you write any software, the first version has to be perfect. It's not possible to make changes in successive versions. Iterative improvement is just a theory.
Posted by pox on February 11, 2011 at 12:55 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 2
"Use your knowledge of science to help mock knowledge of science!"
Posted by Urgutha Forka on February 11, 2011 at 12:58 PM · Report this
very bad homo 3
It's too bad my life experience is reality-based.
Posted by very bad homo on February 11, 2011 at 12:58 PM · Report this
MirrorMan 4
There is a whole "God in the Machine" joke buried in here, but I'll be damned if I am going to dig for it. Of course, if you recited certain types of programming code out loud, it would sound to the uninitiated like you were talking in toungues. That could be fun if you wanted to watch a few fundie head-splosions...
Posted by MirrorMan on February 11, 2011 at 1:07 PM · Report this
rob! 5
Heh heh heh. And good call on the DINOSAURS tag.
Posted by rob! on February 11, 2011 at 1:08 PM · Report this
The temptation to write backdoors into such code would be overwhelming...
Posted by BEG!/browneyedgirl65 on February 11, 2011 at 1:10 PM · Report this
Remember when they were looking for a Geologist? Now that was funny!
Posted by Bean on February 11, 2011 at 1:13 PM · Report this
Can't they just pray for their databases? Seems like that would be a cheaper and more effective option.

Also, doesn't the Bible have instructions for that? They're not leveraging their in-house knowledge.
Posted by Blech on February 11, 2011 at 1:21 PM · Report this
Posted by Westlake, son! on February 11, 2011 at 1:26 PM · Report this
The Wretched Harmony 10
No, I think they'll find a lot of good Christianist dbas out there. If survival of the fittest applied to software, would SQL Server still roam the Earth?
Posted by The Wretched Harmony on February 11, 2011 at 1:31 PM · Report this
It's entirely legal for a religious organization.

I don't share this organization's beliefs, but it's nice to see an employer standing up for first amendment values like freedom on thought and freedom of association.
Posted by David Wright on February 11, 2011 at 1:49 PM · Report this
I wonder if they have an equally restrictive list of best practices:
Every table must be joined with "God".
Now 'M' row should ever be joined with another 'M' row, and once two rows are joined they can never be split.
Every query must end with /*Amen*/;
No indices should be added. Let God optimize your queries.
Posted by kinaidos on February 11, 2011 at 2:13 PM · Report this
Westlake, son! 13
My mistake @11. At least we cleared up the whole "it's science" argument they're presenting. Discriminate due to religion because the museum is religious not scientific, go it. Spread the word.
Posted by Westlake, son! on February 11, 2011 at 2:19 PM · Report this
Vince 14
And when you get in there, sabotage the shit out of their IT!
Posted by Vince on February 11, 2011 at 2:58 PM · Report this
Jaymz 15
Alas, my personal walk with Christ remains ongoing and elusive and uproven and therfore I must graciously decline....
Posted by Jaymz on February 11, 2011 at 2:59 PM · Report this
I don't remember any references to SQL in the bible, so therefore it doesn't exist.
Posted by Mike in Olympia on February 11, 2011 at 3:04 PM · Report this
seandr 17
When the web site doesn't work right, just remind your manager that God loves infinite loops, stack overflows, and dereferencing null pointers.
Posted by seandr on February 11, 2011 at 3:06 PM · Report this
Simone 18
Remember when they, or another christ museum outfit, were looking for a Barista. Almost the same god love required. Just to pour coffee.
Posted by Simone on February 11, 2011 at 5:38 PM · Report this
Shini 19
@13: But isn't this fucking museum getting state funding? That should impose some regulations.
Posted by Shini on February 11, 2011 at 7:37 PM · Report this
blackhook 20
i love it! ...even the hiring mgr is a batshit Christian - big surprise there. Christianity just keeps getting nuttier & even more bizarre, spreading its "good news" to gullible people everywhere.
Posted by blackhook on February 11, 2011 at 7:50 PM · Report this
INSERT INTO Gullible_Minds SELECT * FROM Bible
Posted by DJSauvage on February 11, 2011 at 9:38 PM · Report this
Catherwood 22
@19: Well, yeah, but it's KENTUCKY state funding. Entirely different.
Posted by Catherwood on February 11, 2011 at 10:36 PM · Report this
Why do they need a database management system? If they truly believe, then all they need do is throw all their data in a cardboard box and let Jeebus organize it.
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on February 12, 2011 at 5:57 AM · Report this
Geni 24
Who the hell still uses SQL 2000 for anything?
Posted by Geni on February 14, 2011 at 2:17 PM · Report this

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