Steven Weissman

Why the fuck must every Seattle holiday parade be cluttered with 35 untalented middle-school and high-school marching bands, 18 stomping urban girls' drill teams, and 23 Scout troops? WHY DOES THE WORLD ASSUME THAT I'M GOING TO BE INTERESTED JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE'S REPLICANTS ARE INVOLVED? I go to the St. Patrick's Day parade to see Irish dancers, Irish clans, and Irish musicians. But no, every year I get a bunch of urban middle-school girls who wear heavy boots and stomp loudly because this shit is good for their self-esteem. Why can't the adults handling these groups at least try to respect the theme of the parade? For example, why do the school bands play the Star Wars theme instead of "My Wild Irish Rose"? What, did George Lucas visit Ireland once or something?! Fuck you assholes who think your kids should be in every parade just because they're your kids.