WES HURLEY GIVES YOU CAPITOL HILL
Hulloooomosexuals! You may or may not be aware that director Wes Hurley is insane. Totally! But since all of the best people are, it's best to just sit back and enjoy the hell out of it—and the best way at this juncture to appreciate this mad doctor of film's madness is via his latest work, Capitol Hill, the series! You've heard of it? Starring 99.9 percent of Capitol Hill's theater, cabaret, and burlesque communities and other notable gaymosexuals? Introduced by the inimitable BenDeLaCreme? Of course you have. Wes has been releasing it bit by bit over the last several weeks, and it is a funny, madcap mess of twisted joy. And tonight we shall finally see all of the episodes together, along with the entire cast and crew! A surreal Swish Alps dream come true. Central Cinema, 8 pm, $15, all ages.
BIRTHDAYS ARE FOR CRYING
If I ever slit my wrists in a bathtub full of Jack Daniel's, you can bet your sweet patootie that Morrissey will be playing on a loop when the cleaning lady discovers my body. I don't mean to sound like that's a bad thing. I adore Morrissey! He has been in my permanent rotation since I was in my crib, and that broody little monkey gives me ALLLLL the feelings. Pony, of course, understands exactly how I feel, and every year on Morrissey's birthday, the bar throws a big old tribute to Piccadilly palares, burning hairdressers, suedeheads, and all that is deep, dark, new wavey, and Morrissey. And since it's "All Morrissey, All Night," this is exactly where we should be once we wrap up with Wes Hurley and the crew at Central Cinema. Isn't that a great idea? Of course it is. With DJs AFS and Marcus. Pony, 8 pm, free, 21+.
FANTASTIC.Z SPAWNS A QUEERSPAWN
We've been so focused on gay bars, gay clubs, and gay films, I think a little smattering of live theater (the "gay" is implicit in all theater, and needs no emphasis from me) might just be a refreshing change. Don't you agree? Fabulous! Because there exists in these mean streets a little theater company called the Fantastic.Z, and tonight we shall enjoy their newest and queerest offering: queerSpawn! (Please to ignore the annoying on-purpose capitalization error.) The play is by Mallery Avidon, it first ran in NYC, and it is about a poor beleaguered high-school freshman who is viciously bullied by his peers for being gay—a great irony, since he's straight as a board. But the high-school troglodytes assume the boy is queer because his parents are lesbians, because OF COURSE (ergo: queerSpawn). To cope with his life's stresses, he creates a fantasy world of imaginary friends culled from tabloid headlines, which pretty much sounds like every day of my life. I can't wait to see it onstage. Eclectic Theater, 8 pm, $15 adv/$20 DOS, all ages, May 23–June 7. 
