You want a little personal responsibility, Dan? I couldn’t agree more, so let me lead the way: I fuck dogs. (Actually, I don’t own a dog at the moment, but if I did you can bet we’d be doing it like, well, animals.) Since your advice to Help Me, the girl who supposedly awakened to find her friend’s dog’s face buried in her crotch, wasn’t very thorough, here I am.

First of all, Help Me, I’ve never heard of any of the zoophiles I know getting an infection from having their pussies lapped at, and I know quite a few zoophiles. Still, a nice hot shower never hurt anyone. If you decide to include penetrative sex with your canine companion, both you and he might consider a bath beforehand as well as after.

The behavior you are engaging in is not inherently harmful to you or the dog, but I would think twice about playing with a dog that isn’t yours. It’s deceitful, and it might confuse your oblivious friend when she gets home and the dog tries to get as friendly with her as he is with you. I agree with Dan insofar as taking responsibility for your actions goes, so I would say that if sex with canines is something that interests you, now is the time to find out as much as you can about it. Explore your feelings without judging yourself, and try to find others who live the lifestyle and can advise you. Then if you decide this is something you want to pursue, consider getting your own four-footed companion. Be prepared to treat any animal you bring into your home with respect and care. Don’t get a dog if the only time you intend on giving it attention is when you are fucking.

As for your third question, you aren’t sick just because you get off on doggy cunnilingus. Granted, like any group, we zoos have our embarrassing, abusive, sick representatives, but the majority of us live content, functioning lives, enriched and enlivened by our animal companions. (It’s not just dogs either. Some of us enjoy horses, goats, sheep, dolphins, and others.) Zoophilia is only a problem if it becomes a fetish or a compulsion. Otherwise, it is only people’s irrational fear and disgust that keeps us in the barn, so to speak.

A Seattle Dog Lover

There’s just one thing I’d like to ad, ASDL—besides BLECH!—and that’s this: Some zoos “enjoy” horses a bit too much, as we’ve recently seen in Washington State.

Oh, and there’s this too: You don’t address the Sexual Golden Rule, ASDL, the ethical rule that informs a thinking person’s position on bestiality: consent. An animal, like a child or a comatose person or a corpse, cannot give its consent; therefore animals, like children, and passed out drunks, and corpses, are out of bounds. Of course, as I’ve said a million times, if I were a sheep I’d rather be fucked once in a while than slaughtered, dismembered, and consumed. But still, BLECH!

I was so disappointed to read your response to the dog-sitter who ventured into realms most don’t admit going to.

Obviously, she constructed the “I fell asleep and woke to the dog licking me” thing to make herself feel more comfortable about the events. You, of all people, could have found some way to reassure her that she’s not the first person to have an experience like that. Furthermore, for you to call her “sick” was unconscionable! Of all the foul, off-the-wall sex practices that I’ve seen you endorse, you decide that this is where it becomes “sick”?!

Lastly, I just want to add that you gave her bad advice about germs, and direct your attention to the following web pages for reference: http://www.zooskool.com.

Disappointed In The Midwest

Thanks for sharing, DITM.