Drunk of the Week
CAPTION CONTEST! "R. Kelly"
Andrew Sullivan takes the prize!
Last week I offered up the $27 I won drunkenly playing lotto tickets at the local 7-Eleven at 2:00 in the morning-27 dollars worth of drinks for the best photo caption.
Thanks EVERYONE for playing.
I think some of you were having a few drinkie-winkies when you wrote these? -Kelly O
"Have you ever tried to give yourself a footjob? I mean seriously, it's tough. You have to lean against a wall, while bending super weirdly, and once you're there it's a real bummer because you realize you're about to be less satisfied than when you got your first handjob. Look at boy genius here though, he seems pretty pleased that he found a lady who was willing to do the job. However, our booze jockey forgot that three-quarters of the women in Seattle rock pointy heels, which leads me to believe that this was a less than awesome first FJ. Ouch." -Andrew Sullivan
"The Splits and Nipple Slips oh My" -Alan M.
"When we created crotch whiskers, it was a hobby for me and my ex, something for us and her kids to do when we all ran out of beer and couldn't get off the floor. Then we started seeing it all over the Valley, in the city, in magazines, on models, on Brad Pitt. But we didn't get any damn credit, not even the name: we called it "pant pubes", which was much cooler. The kids really liked it. Here, Kelly, put your heel there and press down. Yeah!" -Christopher M.
"DANCE CRAZE SWEEPS SEATTLE?" -Alma T.
"Viva los Viceroy"........ (I'm drunk and need your coin!) -Gavin A.
"From the top. One and two, and heel and toe, heel and toe. Just like popping the clutch, bitch." -Casey C.
"Livin' La Vita Viceroy" puts it all together.... the butt slider with his hair and chest, and the heel of discipline.... -Erik
"WHOA! HOLD ON! Where did you get those shoes?" -Patrick H.
"I haven't dry-humped since Junior High.... can do that a little faster?!" -Tyler C.
"I thought she would take it as a compliment when I said that her legs don't look as fat when she wears those shoes?" -Russ
Because who needs to shell out a few hundred bucks to a pro domme to crush your balls under her stiletto when you can get it here for free? (Only at Viceroy, some restrictions apply.) -Midori Green
"I don't have any balls anyway" -Kathleen H.
"With Viceroy's 'Peter Sellers' setting and the butt sliding baby, I think it should be "The Pink Panther Returns"" -PUREVIKINGHELL