Frugalness Is Next to Godliness
Tips for Cheap Collegiate Living
Tools
Back-to-School Bible
- Youth is a time of bliss and song. It is also when the damned take their first baby steps toward the fiery dung heap of Hell. Remember Ezekiel 23: "They committed whoredoms in their youth: There were their breasts pressed, and there they bruised the teats of their virginity."
- Your Hellish University: Five Schools, Five Roads to Perdition
- Theological Etiquette: Getting Along with Your Godless Peers
- Abstain from Crystal Meth: Sensible Drug Use for Sensible Students
- Abstain from Credit: Beware the Hand That Offers Plastic
- Abstain from Stupid Sex: But God Loves a Righteous Hump
- Abstain from Alcoholism: Too Much Booze Is Bad News
- The Beautiful and Damned: Helpful Hints for Homosexuals
- Frugalness Is Next to Godliness: Tips for Cheap Collegiate Living
- Celestial Sounds: Enjoying Seattle's Wholesome, All-Ages Nightlife
- The Lord Helps Those...: When Help Hast Forsaken Thee, Do It Thine Damn Self
- The Library of Babel: Navigating Your Way Around the Infernal World Wide Web
You're a student, which means you're poor—congratulations! As St. Paul the Apostle wrote to Timothy, penury is virtue. "For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out." Here's how to save your pennies so you can tithe early and often.
Don't Buy New Books
Stranger Personals
It's simple to get your hands on a free Bible—and why would you want to study anything else? But if you must, get used secular textbooks through your university bookstore or online retailers like Powell's and Amazon.com; find books for amoral English classes at used bookstores like Twice Sold Tales and Half Price Books (both of which have several locations, including the U-District and Capitol Hill) and Magus (academic books in the U-District at 1408 NE 42nd St, 633-1800).
Don't Pay Full Price for Movies
God forbids us from making idolatrous "graven," "molten," or "carved" images, but those made of light and projected onto a screen are fine. And with all the cheap movie options out there, there's no excuse for paying full price. The Seattle Public Library alone has 27,192 DVD and VHS titles (go to www.spl.org and search with "videorecording" as your keyword) that you can borrow free for 21 days. Your university library is another great resource for free movies. Ask about student discounts at the big theater chains; if you're 21 or over, you can also catch the Monday and Tuesday discount nights at Belltown's underground digital palace Big Picture (2505 First Ave, 256-0572). Seattle's second-run theater is the Crest, which is inconveniently located up near Shoreline (16505 Fifth Ave NE, 363-6338) but sports the unbeatable price of $3 (or 13.5626 shekels) per ticket. And if you're a fan of foreign, independent, and repertory fare, become a member of Capitol Hill's Northwest Film Forum (1515 12th Ave, 329-2629) and the U-District's Grand Illusion (1403 NE 50th St, 523-3935) for steep ticket discounts.
Cheap Food Is Everywhere
Christians are encouraged to spend money on food. As the prophet Isaiah says, "Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? Eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness" (Isaiah 55:2). Finding inexpensive food at college is simple: Go to any event that promises to feed you, except those that also wish to convert you to false religions. If you're going out, aim for the frugal food huts listed below.
PHO & BANH MI
Pronounced "fuh," this noodle soup—stocked with your choice of meats or tofu—is cheap and filling and available pretty much everywhere. Banh mi ("ban mee") are delicious Vietnamese sandwiches with pork, tofu, or other fillings, and are available for as little as $1.50 in the International District.
Seattle Deli, 225 12th Ave S: Clean and bustling, this excellent takeout place in the I.D. boasts some of the cheapest banh mi in town.
Than Brothers, multiple locations including 516 Broadway E (Capitol Hill) and 4027 University Way (U-District):Pho's just about the only thing on the menu, but you get a ton of options and a free cream puff for dessert.
MEXICAN
As the Bible says, "Eat thee the food of Mexico, for it is delicious." Plus, cheap!
Taco del Mar, various locations, including 1520 Broadway (Capitol Hill), 1313 NE 42nd St (U-District): Fast and cheap, this Baja-style West Coast chain is a reliable standby.
Chipotle Mexican Grill, 4321 University Way NE (U-District): Sure, it's owned by McDonald's. But don't let that dissuade you—Chipotle has tasty original-recipe salsas, organic and free-range ingredients, and quality you wouldn't expect from a fast-food restaurant.
PIZZA
There's no reason to skimp on pizza—the more expensive slices are yummier and still absolutely affordable.
Pagliacci Pizza, 426 Broadway Ave E (Capitol Hill), 4529 University Way NE (U-District), 727-1717: This Seattle specialty chain offers eat-in, takeout, and delivery—the pies sport thin crusts and gourmet toppings.
Atlantic Street Pizza, 5253 University Way NE (U-District): This hole-in-the-wall may take a few minutes to hike to, but the spicy sauce, plentiful cheese, and wall full of autographs won't disappoint.
BURGERS & FRIES
You can get them anywhere, but you shouldn't. Here are the best cheap and delicious grease purveyors.
Dick's, 115 Broadway E (Capitol Hill), 111 NE 45th St (Wallingford), 4426 Second Ave NE (Queen Anne): The Queen Anne location is sit-down—great for dates!—but everywhere else, it's strictly walk-up or drive-in, which keeps prices insanely low. No-frills burgers and salty, thin-cut fries that have been hyped by the gourmands at Saveur will keep you coming back.
Red Mill Burgers, 312 N 67th St (Phinney Ridge): These big, fat burgers can run as high as five bucks, but that's with bacon and crumbled blue cheese. Plus: veggie options!
Frites, 925 E Pike St (Capitol Hill): At $2.50 for a small cone, these aren't exactly cheap, but they're the best fries in Seattle, and they can serve as a meal in a pinch (don't tell your mom I said that). The twice-fried beauties come with a variety of fancy dips, from curry ketchup to traditional Belgian fritesaus.
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