MONDAY, FEBRUARY 27 The week kicks off with a fresh chapter in the Great Gross Commercial Debate of 2006. Instigating incident: a Hot Tip from Natalie of Ballard, the "vegetarian and mother of one" who expressed her disgust over the Dairy Queen commercial depicting a pair of cartoon shrimp munching through a box of DQ's new popcorn shrimp, then shrieking in horror after realizing they'd devoured their own shrimpy children. While sharing Natalie's grievance, Last Days commiserated by declaring Dairy Queen's incestuous cannibal shrimp ad the most disgusting TV commercial since Mucinex coughed up that anthropomorphized phlegm wad. Today Last Days was taken to task on both points, via a pair of Hot Tips. First is Hot Tipper Michael, who writes, "Am I the only one that found it humorous that viewers would be disturbed by a commercial that accurately depicts the diet of adult shrimp? They happen to eat their young, thousands of them, every mating season." Dear Michael: Thank you for writing and for understanding shrimp. However, the shock of the DQ ad comes not just from the fact that the parent shrimp eat their kids, but from their horrified reaction to the "accidental" deep-fried cannibalism. While shrimp may eat their young in the natural world, it's safe to assume they don't reenact Sophie's Choice every time they do, and it's this discrepancy that cements the DQ commercial's status as disgusting. But, as Hot Tipper Brie asks, how disgusting is it? "I've not seen the Dairy Queen commercial," writes Brie. "But I was surprised that Last Days claimed Dairy Queen had stolen the 'most disgusting TV commercial in history' title away from Mucinex. You've clearly misidentified the previous holder of that title—Lamisil, the toe fungus medication whose commercials show a cartoon fungus thingie prying open a toenail and jumping inside, inducing nausea every time." Dear Brie: You're right. Lamisil's toenail-jimmying fungus is 50 times worse than Mucinex's phlegm wad. (If we remember correctly, the Lamisil creature actually pops the infected toenail open like a car hood.) We apologize for the error.

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 28 Nothing happened today, unless you count the FDA's approval of the first antidepressant skin patch, reported by the Associated Press. Administering a drug previously used on Parkinson's patients, the new selegiline transdermal patch will be marketed as Emsam, in a package boasting a multitude of warnings. Chief among them: Stay away from tyramine, the substance found in draft beer, red wine, fava beans, salami, aged cheeses, and soy sauce that, when mixed with Emsam, can cause users to experience "sudden and severe rises in blood pressure that can lead to a stroke." And what's life without beer, wine, and cheese compared to a functional daily existence marked by a forgiving gauziness and the inability to have an orgasm in less than six hours? Go, Emsam!

THURSDAY, MARCH 2 Speaking of completely engaged: Tonight Last Days and about 800 other people crammed into Seattle's Town Hall for the Stranger-sponsored debate on gay rights between King County Executive Ron Sims and Overlake Baptist Church's Reverend Ken Hutcherson. The result was a frustrating, contentious, and thrilling train wreck, vaguely moderated by KING 5's glacier of impenetrable professionalism Robert Mak, and centered on a most prickly specific of the gay-rights debate: What parallels exist between the gay rights movement and the civil rights movement? Plenty, said Sims, citing the daily humiliations of second-class citizenship and quoting Coretta Scott King for backup. Bullshit, said Hutcherson, citing his own opinion that homosexuality is a choice and thus an unworthy parallel for race, and quoting the Bible for proof that religious bigotry is a gift from God. Still, there were definite pleasures to be found in Hutcherson's invoking the holy name of Anne Heche and invention of the word "bestiology," and if the whole "debate" was too unhinged for its own good, so be it. The fact of two straight men—African-American ministers, no less—debating gay rights in a public forum is a sign of cultural progress that can't be denied, no matter how messy.

FRIDAY, MARCH 3 The week continues with a Hot Tip from Elizabeth, owner of a "hippish" retail store in the Skagit Valley, who wrote to report an instance of good old-fashioned hideous public grooming. "A lady came in to consign some pieces," writes Hot Tipper Elizabeth. "As I was looking through her work, I noticed she was nonchalantly clipping her nails into her purse. She took time to do both hands, so it wasn't an annoying hangnail or anything. I didn't say anything, because really, what do you say to someone who is grooming herself at your front counter while trying to peddle her wares?" Dear Elizabeth: Thank you for surviving and sharing. As for your question, "What do you say to someone who is grooming herself at your front counter...?" Whatever the hell you want. Lady Nail Clipper broke all rules of etiquette, giving you carte blanche. Ask if you can shit on her chest! Inquire after her former gender! Go nuts!!

SATURDAY, MARCH 4 Nothing happened today, unless you count the Army's announcement of its criminal investigation into the death of Pat Tillman, the former professional football player who gave up a $3.6 million contract to fight as an Army Ranger in Afghanistan, only to be fatally shot in April 2004. Previously credited to "friendly fire," Tillman's death will now be reinvestigated as a crime, with an anonymous Pentagon official telling the Associated Press of possible charges of negligent homicide. Stay tuned for updates, and get ready for the thrilling "ripped from the headlines!" Tillman episode of Law & Order.

SUNDAY, MARCH 5 The week ends with the Academy Awards, 3.5 hours of televised delight marked by middling highs (yay for Reese, who was 50 times better in the un-nominated Election) and icky lows (interpretive dance is a poison that kills all it touches). Biggest winner: Jon Stewart, whose exemplary wittiness made him the first comedian in history to elude personal embarrassment while hosting the Oscars.

Send Hot Tips to lastdays@thestranger.com.