Don’t Do Blow

by Sandra Oh

Hello, this is Sandra Oh. Perhaps you recognize me from ABC’s Grey’s Anatomy, on which I play the attractively wry surgical intern Cristina Yang, a role that recently earned me a Golden Globe. Or perhaps you know me from my film work, such as Sideways, in which I played a sexy sommelier with a violent streak, or Under the Tuscan Sun, in which I played Diane Lane’s friend with a lesbian streak. However, today I am speaking to you solely as Sandra Oh, concerned citizen, and I have one thing to say: Don’t do blow.

After so many years in L.A., I thought I’d seen it all when it came to coke. Then I started filming Grey’s Anatomy in Seattle and goddamn|you freaks can totally put it away! As a member of a minority or two|I’m Korean Canadian, thank you very much|I’m sensitive to sweeping assumptions about large groups of individuals. But what the fuck is wrong with you people? I look around Seattle and it’s like California in the ’70s, only everybody is pale and nobody is dressed like Stevie Nicks.

Forget how coke turns everyone into an asshole, the medical detriment alone should be enough to put you off the blow for good. Or maybe you all cherish the threat of decimated nasal passages, dead sensory nerves, perforated colons, and bowel gangrene. Whatever. I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV, and you should listen to what I’m telling you. Don’t do blow.

Love, Sandra Oh