A response to the dork who hates wearing condoms: Suck it up and buy the expensive stuff. The Japanese brand Vis-a-Vis feels amazing. I tell all my friends who complain about condoms to use those. They say it’s too much money and I say, “Which is more important? A little money or your health and showing your partner a little respect?” Besides, they feel freakin’ fantastic, for both partners. YES: Sex with condoms can still be mind-blowingly good. Also don’t forget the lube—just a drop inside.

Gourmet-Condom Lover

Your response to “Insert Witty Name Here” about his hate for condoms was surprisingly one-sided. Sure, he ought to appreciate the incentive to find another LTR willing to pump herself full of hormones so he can get off more easily, but some practical condom tips wouldn’t hurt in the meanwhile. I’ve found that the new, baggy-ended condoms, like the Inspiral, provide much better stimulation—especially with a little lube on the tip inside.

Applauding Rubber Technology

Regarding the guy who ended the LTR and can’t come while using a condom… I was in the exact same predicament several years back. Just to augment the advice you gave IWNH (which was spot-on): He should consider a couple of things. If he can’t come using a condom, he probably isn’t very sensitive. He should cut back on the jerking off, and when he does, use Astroglide and a lighter touch. If you crank it too hard too often, you aren’t going to respond to the more subtle touch of the average vagina, especially through a layer of latex.

He also shouldn’t discount the possibility that as thrilling as sex with random partners can be after an LTR, he probably isn’t as comfortable with it as he thinks he is. My current girlfriend (two years and counting) had to go off the pill for a while for medical reasons, so we had to use condoms. Though I’d had a really hard time coming with a condom on with previous partners, and even with her when we first got together, it was never an issue that time. I’m sure our comfort level played at least some role in that.

Been There, Done That

IWNH’s inability to reach orgasm with a condom on may be an after-effect of circumcision. This operation removes much of the erogenous tissue and causes the head, normally a mucoid internal organ, to form a tough, protective covering, further desensitizing it. The good news is some things can help a desensitized penis. Leaving an inch or two of condom loose at the end, with lube (but no air) inside, allows the condom itself to move, stimulating the glans directly, as a foreskin would. Keeping the head covered, either with the shaft skin or silky fabric, lets it soften and regain some sensitivity. The Your-Skin Cone, available at www.tlctugger.com, and the ManHood penis sheath (www.manhood.mb.ca) can provide the necessary coverage. A long-term solution is a process called “foreskin restoration,” which grows enough shaft skin to fold over the head like a foreskin; www.norm.org is a good place to start learning how to grow your own replacement hoodie.

Cease Unnecessary Trauma

I’m a gay male, a few months out of an LTR, and I have some advice for Insert Witty Name Here—the guy who hates wrapping his tool. My ex and I had a stable relationship with good communication and trusted each other enough to go bare, so when I went back on the market, I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of wrapping up either; the constricting fit turns me off, which may be IWNH’s problem too. However, refusing to go bare, I’ve found an option that works incredibly well for me—the “female” or “insertive” condom.” Made of polyurethane, it’s thinner than latex so really does give a “good as bare” feel and doesn’t fit snugly. With just a little practice they’re easy to insert, they’re pre-lubed on the inside with a silicon lube, and, best of all (in my opinion), can be inserted well in advance. That might not be a plus to IWNH if he likes to go down on his lay-of-the-day, but I’m not into rimming so it works for me and makes the move from foreplay to hole-in-one smooth and effortless! The only drawback is they’re a lot more expensive, but great sex and good health aren’t worth skimping on.

Madison Dude

To the young man who was asking for tips about condom use, you should have mentioned that size matters. I have a large penis. Until I was 27, I used regular-sized condoms and did not fully enjoy sex. Then, I met a girl who told me about larger condoms. Suddenly I could feel much more and was much more comfortable. I really enjoyed it when I found a condom that fit. Then one day I noticed XL in the store and thought I would give it a try. The condoms I had been using were still a little snug. Well, the XL fit great and so I was “off to the races” again. However, after a little experience with the XL, I noticed that I had less feeling and more slippage. So I went back to the large size and I’ve determined the fit is perfect. My point is, this young man may need to try different condoms. He should just make sure he doesn’t go too small and break it.

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