Wed May 24/Sun May 28
Maybe every week you read this column and think, "Man, that Party Crasher crashes a lot of parties." And then you may stop and ask, "But how does Party Crasher party when Party Crasher THROWS a party?"
Well, this week was the (mumble) anniversary of Party Crasher's birth, and he did indeed throw himself a party, a celebration that ranged across Capitol Hill's bars and raged from Wednesday to Sunday. (Allowing some time off for sleeping, working, eating, etc.)
On the Wednesday-night kickoff, Party Crasher received well wishes from strangers and friends alike, especially from a tall, imposing fellow who insisted that Party Crasher begin enjoying his "dirty thirties" that very night. A few days later, Party Crasher was clearly taking this advice to heart, performing some heartfelt karaoke songs (including a particularly moving rendition of Boys II Men's "End of the Road") for a mesmerized audience, garnering standing ovations after each.
At the final bar of the evening, the party sat at a large table and told offensive jokes as the night wound down. Party Crasher displayed some gifts: a tiny bottle of jam, a jalapeño pepper. After a bit of coaxing, he was persuaded to take an enormous bite of the pepper for a promised $4; upon fulfillment of the bet, he broke open the bottle and began devouring the jam to dull the burning sensation on his tongue. The answer to that original question was obvious: So THIS is how Party Crasher parties.
Want The Stranger to tell Helen Keller jokes at your house party? E-mail the date, place, time, and party details to firstname.lastname@example.org.