The Queer Issue
Queer Issue 2006
Additional Amendments, Restrictions, and Bans
The Queer Issue
- Divorced From Reality: The Constitutional Amendment We Really Need Would Protect Us from Family-Values Hypocrites—and Protect Family-Values Hypocrites from Themselves
- George W. Bush's effort to write anti-gay bigotry into the U.S. Constitution died in the U.S. Senate earlier this month. That came as a relief, as did Tim Eyman's failure to get his anti-gay-rights referendum on the ballot in Washington State. But we haven't seen the last of the federal anti-gay-marriage amendment. (Or Eyman.)
- Pride 2006 Events Calendar: Pride Week Festivities, from the Broadway Grill's ABBA tribute to Wildrose's Wet T-Shirt Contest
- Pride Events
- Ban Heterosexual Complacency: Meet the Oppressed Sexual Majority
- Amend It to End It: A Risky Amendment Could Stop the Emerging Anti-Gay-Adoption Movement in Its Tracks
- The Fag-Hag Emancipation Act of 2006: The First Thing We're Banning Is the Term "Fag Hag." The Next Thing to Go Is That Gay Ex-Nazi Trucker in My Living Room.
- Marry Me a Little: The Civil Union Instigation Act
- I Am Not a Butt Plug
- The Seven Year Ditch
- No Queer Child Left Behind: We Need to Remember "Our" Kids During Pride
- Ban the Abs: A Few New Regulations for Gay "Art" Photographers and Their Patrons
- PRO & CON: Ban Girls from Engaging in Drunken Displays of Faux-Bisexuality
- Scummy Film: It's Time for a Moratorium on Bad Gay Movies
- Life Sentence: A Fitting Punishment for Political Closet Cases
- Ex-Ex-Gay Reparations
- Legislating Tolerance: Making Health Clubs a Safe Space for Heterosexual Men
- Waiting Periods: Legislatures Across the Country Have Approved Waiting Periods for Gun Purchases and Abortions; We'd Like to Propose These Queer-Specific Waiting Periods
- Three Strikes, You're Out: A Do-It-Yourself Guide to Unpardonable Gay Crimes
- Comic: Woodland Creatures Speak Up for the Appropriating Names of Wildlife Restriction
George W. Bush's effort to write anti-gay bigotry into the U.S. Constitution died in the U.S. Senate earlier this month.
That came as a relief, as did Tim Eyman's failure to get his anti-gay-rights referendum on the ballot in Washington State. But we haven't seen the last of the federal anti-gay-marriage amendment. (Or Eyman.) Like the human-life and flag-burning amendments before it, the proposed anti-gay-marriage amendment will rear up—if I may use that image—whenever cynical Republicans need to crank up their base.
It's not just same-sex marriage that social conservatives are seeking to ban. They're opposed to civil unions—to any recognition of same-sex couples at all. In states where same-sex marriage has already been banned, religious conservatives are seeking to ban adoptions by same-sex couples. Queers cannot be mentioned in classrooms—not even classrooms they're sitting in. Hell, they're trying to get us banned from the window displays at Macy's.
Increasingly emboldened social conservatives are also moving against the rights of heterosexuals, seeking to ban abortion, birth control, and reality-based sex education.
But what about the things queers would like to see banned? Like hypocritical, thrice-divorced Republican defenders of "traditional marriage"? Or gay men in mesh shirts? Or drunken straight girls pretending to be bisexual? Or parental disapproval that stretches past a reasonable statute of limitations? Or heterosexual complacency?
For The Stranger's annual Queer Issue we invited homos, genderqueers, progressive hets, and oppressed gerbils to propose a few amendments, restrictions, and bans of our own.