I regret every time I didn't call out shitty theater when I saw it—often because the artists were colleagues and peers. This only helps breed more shitty theater. The Blue Album at Long Wharf Theatre was so insipid, flabby, and shit-tacular that I can't believe I stood in the lobby afterward babbling with the creative team responsible, never mentioning that my eyes were bleeding from the show—I think I said it was "totally interesting." A life in the arts is a life of intense hypocrisy with occasional flashes of naked, startling honesty. In 2008, I will rededicate myself to setting fire to my career whenever possible, and let the truth out. MIKE DAISEY, SOLO PERFORMER

I regret smoking sooo much pot in college (and, let's face it, since college) that I can't ever remember names. In a business that requires such keen networking skills, it's rather embarrassing to forget someone's name four times. This has happened. TROY FISCHNALLER, ACTOR

I regret that doing so many walk-and-talk shows instead of physical theater—which I love more—has gotten me really out of shape. I regret that I wasn't diligent about seeing and working with people I enjoy until I decided to move to New York. GABRIEL BARON, ACTOR

I regret not telling Baryshnikov, while warming up in the same studio in New York City, that he is my hero and that I watched the video of him and Gelsey Kirkland doing Nutcracker when I was younger and practiced dancing his part so many times in my room that the tape broke. I really regret that. ZOE SCOFIELD, CHOREOGRAPHER

I regret spending that much money for Young Frankenstein tickets. I regret that the Seattle Times calls it "Entertainment and Arts" instead of "Arts and Entertainment." I regret not going to Washington Ensemble Theatre more often. GARY TUCKER, MEDIA RELATIONS FOR PACIFIC NORTHWEST BALLET

I regret originally okaying comedy and tragedy masks as a logo for my column; I was assured that they would be ironic, but then they just looked stupid. I still sort of regret the column title Longenbaugh on Theatre, but I've gotten used to it. I also regret following Brendan Kiley's advice and going to see Another You by Allen Johnson at On the Boards. I regret talking about how much I hated it in the lobby afterward when the playwright/performer was standing six feet away from me. JOHN LONGENBAUGH, SEATTLE WEEKLY

I regret not using the immense power of playwriting to end the war in Iraq. SCOT AUGUSTSON, PLAYWRIGHT

There's this haunting Stephanie Timm play called Break My Body, inspired by a Frank Black song, that I wanted to direct this fall in a gallery or old storefront space. I've got a kick-ass cast and design team lined up; I just need to raise the funds. BRADEN ABRAHAM, DIRECTOR

I regret being this old and still this angry. I regret not being able to control my anxiety sweating. MIKE MIN, PERFORMANCE ARTIST

I still regret something that happened in West Caldwell, New Jersey, in 1973: I was in first grade, and it was lunch/recess. There was this huge tree-fort thing that the hippie teachers encouraged us to explore, and there was a lot of furtive kissing and cruelty that went on up there. One day, a girl from the special-ed class climbed up to have a look, and she was pounced upon like a mouse in a snake pit, or like a retarded girl on a New Jersey playground. Within three minutes, she was so terrified from the screaming, laughing, pointing, slapping, taunting, hitting, and spitting, that she pissed uncontrollably—emptied her bladder through her (somehow visible) cotton underpants, sobbing, snot running from her nose—and wet the redwood deck: catatonic, bug-eyed and blubbering, entirely and actually lost. I just watched, and did nothing. My regret here is not just Hallmark Channel/Dr. Phil guilt; it's something quieter and older, because I have always felt retarded. I have known since I was 5 years old how actually stupid I am, and I have spent my life telling stories to compensate for it. ALLEN JOHNSON, SOLO PERFORMER

I regret that over the past twenty-five years the emphasis regarding the performing arts in Seattle has had more to do with the institutions and less with the actors appearing onstage. This disenthrallment has been at the direct expense of the local artists. LAURENCE BALLARD, ACTOR

I regret gonging the chicken-dance performance-art girl at the Stranger Gong Show in April. I regret contact improv. LANE CZAPLINSKI, ARTISTIC DIRECTOR OF ON THE BOARDS

I regret accepting the last three shots of bourbon that people bought me after a show in Ballard, which led to the subsequent DUI charges that I will be fighting next year. KEVIN HYDER, COMEDIAN

I regret nothing. But I wish I hadn't seen The Golden Compass. Man, that was a shitty movie. JENNIFER ZEYL, DIRECTOR AND DESIGNER

I regret not finally stopping the show and reaching over and slapping the woman prominently knitting the ugly purple scarf in the front row when she dropped one of her needles onto the stage. HANA LASS, ACTOR

I regret still not understanding the difference between burlesque dancing and sort-of stripping. ANDREW CONNOR, THE CODY RIVERS SHOW

I know this sounds straight from the mouth of an executive director (as it is), but I regret that more people didn't come to Velocity to see our guest artist Miguel Gutierrez and the Powerful People. I know it was August and I know he's non-local, but I thought about that show every day for two weeks afterward. His work is mind-altering. KARA O'TOOLE, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF VELOCITY DANCE STUDIO

We regret that when we tell folks we're improvisers, they say: "Do something funny, right now!" BLOOD SQUAD

I regret not living wildly enough to have accumulated many regrets this year. ELISE HUNT, ACTOR

I wish that I hadn't gained so much weight. The only thing more awkward than explaining the unicorn costume in your closet is having to admit that you are too fat to wear it anymore. EMMETT MONTGOMERY, COMEDIAN