MONDAY, DECEMBER 31 This week of heartening triumph and soul-molesting tragedy kicks off with the latter, which today touched everyone who knew, loved, or simply shared a city with Shannon Harps, the 31-year-old woman who was fatally stabbed outside her apartment tonight on Seattle's Capitol Hill. The details of Harps's life and death are by now well-known: A passionate environmentalist, Shannon Harps moved to Seattle three years ago from Columbus, Ohio, to take a dream job with the Sierra Club; this evening, Harps was returning from a quick trip to Madison Market when she was accosted outside her apartment building at 15th Avenue and East Howell Street, by a man who stabbed her several times and fled. Neighbors who heard Harps's screams called 911, and an ambulance rushed Harps to Harborview, where tonight she died. "It's just a crazy, tragic loss," said Dan Ritzman, Northwest director for the Sierra Club, to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. All we can do is agree. As for whoever murdered Harps, police have sketched together a description of a "person of interest" described as six feet tall and in his 40s, wearing baggy pants, a blue parka, and a dark knit hat, with a three- to four-inch beard and a look witnesses described as "scruffy or transient-like, but 'not too dirty.'" Police continue their search for the mystery murderer. If you have any information, please call the 24-hour SPD tip line at 206-233-5000.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 1 In much, much lighter news: Today we turn to the ridiculous Northwest news story that took the world by storm. We're speaking, of course, of the infamous interspecies shower fight of Bremerton, which commenced after a 26-year-old man attempted to let his dog into the bathroom where he was about to shower with his 25-year-old girlfriend. When the woman objected, the Associated Press reports, the man replied that maybe his next girlfriend would appreciate the dog more, and "called her a name." According to the police report, the woman then punched the dog-loving man in the face several times, after which the couple grappled in the shower, leading to the dislocation of the man's shoulder. For a finale, the woman allegedly hurled a picture frame at the man, who was reportedly cut by the broken glass. The woman was arrested for investigation of second-degree assault and booked in Kitsap County Jail on $50,000 bail.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 2 The week continues with more soul-molesting tragedy, courtesy of Seattle Post-Intelligencer reporter Carol Smith, author of today's quietly horrifying P-I story "Shock Wave." At the crux of the vast story: the traumatic brain injuries sustained by soldiers exposed to regular explosions in Iraq. "Veterans Affairs doctors estimate 60 percent to 65 percent of soldiers have experienced a significant explosion, or multiple detonations, by the time they leave the service," writes Smith. "That, in turn, has likely left many with undiagnosed mild to moderate brain injuries, a prognosis that some fear is setting a long fuse that could eventually swamp the system with disabilities as they emerge in the months and years to come."

THURSDAY, JANUARY 3 In much, much better news: Today brought the Iowa caucuses, in which Democrats came out swinging for Senator Barack Obama, who gained a whopping 37 percent of the vote, with Senators John Edwards and Hillary Clinton a distant second and third, respectively. As for the Republicans: Former Arkansas governor/current far-right evangelical wacko Mike Huckabee garnered a shocking 34 percent of the vote, trouncing former Massachusetts governor/current LDS wacko Mitt Romney (25 percent), former Tennessee senator/former Law & Order star Fred Thompson (14 percent), and former POW/current Arizona senator John McCain (13 percent). Now it's on to New Hampshire, where Hillary Clinton hopes to reverse today's ass kicking, and where Mike Huckabee will be lucky to come in third.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 4 Today we turn to the increasingly nagging questions that have haunted countless minds for the past 18 months. Specifically: Can a child raised and marketed as a sexual commodity ever gain a sense of normalcy? What would the vast public approval and extraordinary wealth brought about by such commodification do to a developing human brain? And how would such a person respond to such "mundane" challenges as postpartum depression and divorce? Yesterday the world was given some clues to the answers, as Britney Spears took her already ridiculous level of crazy to a whole new plateau—refusing to hand over her children to primary parent Kevin Federline at the scheduled time and instigating a three-hour standoff with police, during which Britney "appeared to be under the influence of an unknown substance" and after which Britney was strapped to a gurney and hauled off in an ambulance to a Los Angeles hospital for psychological evaluation. Today a court commissioner granted sole physical and legal custody of Spears's two children to ex-husband Federline, and tomorrow (and tomorrow and tomorrow) the world will gawk in horror as America's former pop princess—once hyped as the "new Madonna"—cements her status as the new Frances Farmer. Last year, Last Days wrote at least twice that humanity is forbidden to stand around and watch as Britney's sucked into the same pathetic public death trap as Anna Nicole Smith. This year, we think Britney will be lucky to have so dignified a death. After last night's ruckus, we can easily imagine her being fatally shot in a McDonald's parking lot by a man in a police helicopter. To those who find this cruel: We've been watching Britney Spears be abused for entertainment our whole life, and we can't be expected to stop watching now that it's getting interesting. Britney Spears's value as a pop star: $1.99. Britney Spears's value as a child-stardom case study: Priceless.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 5 Nothing happened today, unless you count the amazing whiplash trouncing of the Washington Redskins by the Seattle Seahawks, who now head to Wisconsin to try their luck against the Green Bay Packers and their dreamy and seemingly bionic quarterback Brett Favre. Go, Seagulls!

SUNDAY, JANUARY 6 The week ends with another report from the increasingly dangerous wilds of Capitol Hill. "Dear Last Days," writes Hot Tipper Laszlo. "Tonight my heterosexual male roommate and his friend were buying beer at the Shell gas station on Broadway and Pike when they were confronted by an angry man in line, who stated that he 'fucked up faggots.' He then asked my roommate's friend if he was a friend of gays, and he told him yes, and that the angry man should not speak about gays like that. The man then called him a faggot and told him that he would be waiting outside for him. When they went outside, both of them were blindsided and my roommate had his nose busted. These guys are not gay, but the point is that we have a serious issue on Capitol Hill with people attacking anyone they think are 'fags.'" Dear Hot Tipper Laszlo: Thank you for sharing. Dear Laszlo's roommate and his roommate's friend: Thank you for fighting the good fight; people like you give people like us hope for the future. Dear everyone else: Witnesses provided Seattle police with the license number of the gay-friendly-basher's car. Stay tuned.

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