Food & Drink

Nothing's Cheaper Than Free

Terrace Garden Restaurant at the Red Lion Hotel

Eliza Truitt

  1415 Fifth Ave, fifth floor, 971-8010

Free taco bar, Mon–Fri 4:30–6 pm.

The happy-hour menu at Terrace Garden is written in terrifying WordArt!, and features pixilated pictures of drinks lounging by the pool, in an Alvin Ailey dance formation, one wearing a cactus hat, another making sweet love to an orange slice.

Looking up from your menu, the thought will cross your mind, "Has my vision been impaired from drinking or am I in a fancy hospital waiting room in Missoula, Montana?" There will be old people wearing America shirts and the bartender will ask, "You all right over there?" when you start to stare into space absentmindedly like Mr. Head Injury. But, unlike in most hospital waiting rooms, there will be a completely unsupervised taco bar! Make yourself a taco with beef, refried beans, sour cream, and lettuce. The taco beef will taste gamey not beefy, the taco shell will taste like drywall, but the sour cream will be a nice temperature and the salsa will be chunky. No one will make you feel guilty for eating three of them.

 

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