MONDAY, AUGUST 4 This week of axed ad campaigns, instructional public sex, and superhuman entertainment kicks off with the indictment of a splashy local villain: Laurence Anthone, the South Seattle developer charged today with 10 counts of first-degree theft and 10 counts of securities fraud after allegedly soliciting hundreds of thousands of dollars for real-estate developments that didn't exist. Details come from the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, which reports Anthone used his position as owner of MA Quik Construction to allegedly defraud several well-known South Seattle business leaders—including Ezell Stephens, owner of Ezell's Famous Chicken—out of about $600,000 for nonexistent building projects. In addition to being dishonest, Anthone also stands accused of being evil: According to King County prosecutors, Anthone encouraged a recently laid-off Boeing employee to refinance her home and pillage her retirement fund to buy two office spaces. The woman later learned she'd mortgaged her life for "projects" that lacked both construction permits and financing for completion. Having already forked out over $600,000 in civil damages, Anthone will be arraigned on his new criminal charges on August 18.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 5 In lighter news, today brings a beguiling tale of public lust and urban parenting from Hot Tipper Nancy: "Tonight at around 11:00 p.m., my 12-year-old daughter awoke to a squeal outside her bedroom window. She came running to the living room to tell me that she thought maybe a raccoon was tangling with one of the neighborhood cats. When we looked out the living-room window, the tangle we saw was not a raccoon and cat, but a male and female who had decided to perform coitus on the sidewalk of Ballard Avenue. He was pounding her like a jackhammer, right there in front of my apartment. Of course this was a crash course in sex ed for my daughter, as she questioned what they were doing and I replied that they were having sex on the sidewalk. She ran to her room in disgust and I continued to observe (admittedly in slight awe of their daring) until I was sure both parties were in it for the sake of fun and no one was being forced. I then opened the window and kindly asked them to find a more discreet place to have their fun. They apologized, got up, and moved along."

••Such advanced urban etiquette was in short supply in the Metro-based tableau observed today by Hot Tipper Ken: "On the 358 Metro, I saw some huge, heavily tattooed guy with a black-and-white camouflage hat and a lunch pail tell a little Somali guy no taller than five feet that he should 'leave this country.' After the Somali guy abruptly exited, the testosterone-ridden thug exclaimed that he 'should've strangled him.'" Dear Ken: Thank you for noticing and sharing. Among many other things, your story provides a bracing glimpse of what a bad economy looks like.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 6 Even the dumbest readers will recall last week's Canadian Greyhound bus tragedy, in which a 22-year-old rider traveling from Edmonton, Alberta, to Winnipeg, Manitoba, was murdered, beheaded, and cannibalized by his seatmate. Today brought news of the one of the tragedy's lesser casualties: Greyhound's new ad campaign, which was being rolled out across Canada when the murdering/beheading/cannibalization occurred. The campaign's tagline: "There's a reason you've never heard of 'bus rage,'" a 21st-century spin on the relaxing classic "Leave the driving to us," rendered tragically ridiculous by the random massacre of one Greyhound passenger by another. As Greyhound spokeswoman Abby Wambaugh told the Associated Press, all existing ads bearing the unfortunate tagline would be down by end of day, while the 20,000 inserts of the ads scheduled for inclusion in an Alberta Summer Games handbook have been pulled.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 7 The week continues with a whole bunch of traffic accidents, one light and absorbent, the other two weird and deadly. Light and absorbent first: Early this morning in Houston, the driver of a tractor-trailer tried to maneuver his way onto a freeway and flipped, rolling his tractor- trailer on its side and spilling his full load of adult diapers all over the freeway ramp. Houston's KHOU reports that it took authorities several hours to clean up the diapery, traffic-blocking mess and that "no one was seriously hurt." Tragically, that wasn't the case in Arizona, where this morning a sport utility vehicle carrying 19 passengers (?!) rolled on State Route 79 southwest of Phoenix, killing 9 of the passengers and injuring all 10 others. This toll will be topped tomorrow morning in Texas, where an unlicensed bus carrying 55 members of a Vietnamese Catholic group from Houston to Carthage, Missouri, for a religious festival will smash into a guardrail and skid off a highway near the Texas-Oklahoma state line, killing 17 people. Condolences to everyone.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 8 In much better news: Tonight brought Dolly Parton to Seattle, where an enthusiastic crowd (40 percent country/60 percent gay, by our estimates) packed into the WaMu Theater, the hideous name of which couldn't diminish the brilliance of our reason for coming. During the two-and-a-half-hours-with-intermission show, Dolly played over a half-dozen instruments (banjo, dulcimer, acoustic and electric guitar, piano, harmonica, and penny whistle, all bedecked with rhinestones), sang a cappella and in 12-part harmony with her backup band, answered "questions from the audience" that she clearly produced herself, told wonderfully hokey jokes and stories about her boobs and family and Tennessee Mountain Home™, and made us believe she was grateful to be doing it all. As Last Days' Dolly-loving man Jake puts it, "She understands exactly what her job is," and tonight she did her job—musical-prodigy sex-Muppet comedienne—in exemplary fashion. Considering her accumulation of accomplishments and the je ne sais quoi that makes her appeal to kids and gays and the developmentally disabled in a way her aesthetic forebears (Loretta Lynn, Mae West) never could, Dolly is likely to be as big a star dead as she is alive. For this reason and many others, Last Days was exceedingly grateful for tonight's opportunity to be in the same room as Dolly Parton singing "Coat of Many Colors" while accompanying herself on the (rhinestone-covered) autoharp.

••In much worse news: Some awful shit happened tonight to beloved local figure Grant Cogswell and a friend in Belltown, which you can read about on page 11.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 9 Nothing happened today, unless you count the shooting of a Hells Angel by an off-duty Seattle police officer at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally in South Dakota, which we don't.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 10 Nothing happened today, unless you count the trouncing of China's Olympic basketball team by the U.S. Olympic basketball team at the Olympics, which we do.

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