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Nov 18, 2014 DeirdreTours commented on Savage Love.
An inch and a half in????? Oh. My.
Oct 7, 2014 DeirdreTours commented on Savage Love.
Hey, this first letter is a repeat!
Sep 3, 2014 DeirdreTours commented on Savage Love.
LW3-- The wife simply does not love him anymore. Or is so angry that the anger blots out any love. If she were simply indifferent to sex, she would still indulge him on at least major occasions (birthday, vacation, anniversary, etc). But to refuse for 11 years and announce she will never have sex with him again is more that indifference or lack of desire or hormones. It is an act of continuous punishment.
Jun 13, 2014 DeirdreTours commented on SL Letter of the Day: You're In Or You're Out.
Although it is fun to puzzle about, it doesn't matter why the boyfriend won't kiss her, hold her, have sex with her. The fact is, he doesn't. Frankly I wonder if she has serious self esteem issues or a little closet masochism going on-- Who put up with a "boyfriend" who wont have anything to do with you? Leave!
May 20, 2014 DeirdreTours commented on Savage Love.
I don't understand why moving the uretha would result in ejaculate moving as well?
May 8, 2014 DeirdreTours commented on Savage Love.
nocutename-- I don't think it is fair to call the letter writer homophobic and a bigot because she is uncomfortable with her husband to be's attraction to trans-women.
For me, the biggest part of sexual excitement is the feeling that my partner is excited by me. I do not want to spend my life with a partner who had a major attraction to men, or trans-women as I could never fulfill that desire for them. Frankly, I have lots of other parameters for lifetime partner too- for example, tall is important to me. That doesn't make me bigoted against the short, just not sexually attracted to short.
Apr 7, 2014 DeirdreTours commented on Two-Year-Old Boy Second Amendments His Eleven-Year-Old Sister to Death.
CPN-- So what? The Stranger shouldn't have a viewpoint? They should not advocate that insane attitudes about guns result in thousands of deaths per year? What, exactly, is objectionable about "agendas? Don't you have any issue that you care enough about to argue for?
Dec 19, 2013 DeirdreTours commented on Savage Love.
"Please trust me when I tell you that you will lead a happier life if you marry a man who is excited by the thought of marrying you. If you must push and nudge him now, you will need to push and nudge him through most major decisions of your life. It really doesn't matter WHY, if he wanted to marry you, you would be engaged by now. Put the baby on the shelf for now. You should have that baby with a man that is excited about being your husband and the father of your children. Go and have a happy life! "
This is so true!
I disagree with the dozens of posts recommending more discussions about your needs/his reluctance. MOVE OUT. Do not discuss moving out, find an apartment, put your stuff in it and then tell him, gently, kindly, that you now understand that the future you have planned isn't the one he has planned.
It is quite probable that he will then propose. If I were you, I would refuse and hold out for someone who was able to commit to me without reservations, without prodding and who viewed what was important to me as being -by definition- important to him. The dynamic you are now in is poisonous- he will always blame you for the escalating commitment instead of being delighted that he was lucky enough that you committed to him.
On a related note- I think this cultural meme about men being anti marriage is bull. Studies show that men usually decide very, very early in a relationship if they want to pursue a permanent commitment. Women actually take much longer.
And jesus, who would even consider a marriage with a partner who put off committing because they thought someone "better" might come along???
Dec 3, 2013 DeirdreTours commented on Savage Love.
The chances that the boss will not find out seem...slim. So, perhaps the best thing would be to casually run the idea by the boss. Not in graphic words, but just mention that the son is very mature for his age and you would love to get to know him better.
Nov 9, 2013 DeirdreTours commented on SL Letter of the Day: My Widow's Dog Collar.
The legal phrase the letter writer needs to learn is "the rest and the residue". In the will, one specifies specific objects to specific folks as one desires ant the one leaves "the rest and the residue" to the girlfriend for disposal. This would cover every single item in the estate not specifically named already in the will and could encompass anything from stocks, to books on the shelves to all of the household nicnacs.