commented on A Feel Bad Story in Disguise: Two Florida Hospitals Won't Bill Orlando Pulse Shooting Victims
@3: sarcasm. It's a thing.
Regarding a less morbid and lethal area of charitable giving: If you're going to donate after some iconic natural disaster (currently, the Louisiana floods but Sandy, Katrina, etc) by writing a check to the Red Cross or another relief organization, please make it an undirected donation.
If you write "Louisiana flood" on your check, then they HAVE to spend it on that, even if that disaster is over-funded with donors. But single-family house and apartment fires cost them more in most years than big disasters do - essentially no one donates for those smaller-scale, far-more-numerous events.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: One and Done?
Maybe @14 is right, and the LW is disgusted by the idea, but I didn't read that into the letter. I get more being-in-charge, won't-do-anything-I-don't-benefit-from in the letter.
She asked if there was anything the BF secretly wanted to try, and the FIRST thing she wants to do is shut down the possibly of it happening more than once?!? Versus, oh say, trying it first? Or negotiating pee role-playing without the actual pee or using a runner's hydration bladder full of fake pee (warm Coors?)?
How likely is he to ever roll out any of his kinks or desires in the future? @16 is right - a half-hearted, feeble "one and done" is not going to satisfy the dude over the years to come. So the years to come won't come.
1/DTMFA (the reciprocal of DTMFA = BF should dump her). Unless she was lamely fishing around for her own kink to offered up by the BF and is unconsciously pissed (pun intended) at him for not sharing her undisclosed interests. Then she needs to ovary-up and confess her desires.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Asexuality-It's a Thing.
@2: Yeah, I had a vibe of that, too. And therefore would replace Dan's advice of, "Keep listening to your daughter" with "believe your daughter about her own (a)sexuality, let it be HER (a)sexuality, don't initiate discussions about it, don't put lots of energy into researching it, and just let your 18-YEAR-OLD, ADULT daughter be herself, a lot more BY herself than she has been.
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Sexy Business Tips
And +1 x2 on @5's comments.
If you don't have retail experience, get it.
And since many people prefer to shop on line for stigmatized items, how can you (1) satisfy immediate, local needs, (2) make your brick&mortar store a fun date for an established couple or (3) a place to meet someone? I thought a high-end grocery store hosting a Single's Night was brilliant because it cost them nothing and the customers would buy many profitable items to impress potential partners.
commented on What Do You Know: Millennial Voters Flocking to Clinton
Something I've found gets some traction with people half my age:
Let's make Trump not just lose but go down big. In almost every state. That, and maybe only that, could send a message about where his brand of sexism, racism, demagoguery, and fear-mongering takes a candidate.
If that's the objective, there are no "throw-away" votes even in solidly red or blue states. Every vote for his opponent makes Trump's politics look even less successful. Staying home or Stein-wasting your vote narrows the margin between Trump and Clinton.
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Men In Her Life
Yeah, maybe there's sexual trauma in the husband's past. But closeted gay husband fits, too. Not good or interested in pleasing a woman; vaginas have icky fluids in them; (or he has an STI and doesn't want to infect her out of decency or to remain closeted).
Time to check his browser history. If it's straight porn, is it some kicky stuff he can't bring himself to ask for? If it's gay porn, there's your explanation and his marching papers or your hall pass. If it's the vanilla stuff you've been doing, he's just an inconsiderate jerk in bed.
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Stressed Out
"Because I am really not at my normal sexual self, but I haven't been in a long time."
Maybe you need to think in terms of a new normal. Or you'll be unfair to yourself and future partners.
Or, yeah, get a different job. Its effect on you clearly make you unhappy. It doesn't sound like the job brings you enough joy to compensate.
However. . . .is there ever anyone who says "sex is a problem because of my job", and the problem does away when they change jobs? Not IME. It's so much easier to say, "I'm not as sexual anymore because of my job." without continuing in that vein, "A job it doesn't occur to me - a smart professional - to change to something less stressful so I could be more sexual. Which I could, if I wanted to, but I don't, because _____________."
When you have the courage to fill in the blank (e.g. "I like the status"), you can fix the job problem (if there was one). Or be further along in accepting this new normal ("I'm just not that keen on sex anymore and I liked having an excuse.")
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Get Out There and Fight
@5 and @8: Memes don't have to be true, they just have to get traction.
Shoot / harass / assault gays - you must be a closet case.
I like that meme a lot if it would discourage anyone (gay / straight, out / closeted) from attacking a similar group in the future.
And we can build it on top of the increasing examples of hateful, conservative, anti-gay closet cases.