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Jan 29 casusbelli commented on Resisting Arrest While White and Resisting Arrest While Black Are Two Completely Different Things.
This is far from an unambiguous example of "white privilege." To conclude it is, one must assume that America comprises culturally homogenous communities and police forces, that people of color rarely survive resisting arrest, and that white people always do.

Very broadly speaking, easier, less injurious dealings with police are certainly an advantage of being white in America. Whether a particular interaction between police and a citizen is evidence of privilege or the lack thereof is more difficult to ascertain. Were it established that the police who arrested Bundy had a history of dealing more harshly with persons of color in similar situations, you would have a case.
Jan 24 casusbelli commented on SL Letter of the Day: Wonderful Fiancé Turns Out To Be Total Shit Stain.
@64, I understand what you are saying. For me, however, it boils down to trust. It didn't matter to me how many men wanted to have sex with my ex-wife (as it turns out, a lot; she's very attractive), I trusted her not to. If I didn't, I would have left the relationship. Likewise, I expected my ex-wife to trust that I would remain faithful to her, regardless of how many women wanted to have sex with me (as it turns out, not nearly as many as she thought, but more than I did).

I get that nixing contact between your partner and someone actively pursuing them decreases the chances that infidelity will occur. Exercising control in that fashion, however, is not something I want in a relationship, nor will I stand to have that sort of control exercised over me ever again.
Jan 24 casusbelli commented on SL Letter of the Day: Wonderful Fiancé Turns Out To Be Total Shit Stain.
@57, my ex did much the same thing to me. I was made to cut off all contact with anyone I'd had a relationship with in the past. As an added bonus, I was also forbidden from making friends with anyone that in my ex's view "wanted" me. The real underlying issue was that my ex--much like the lw's fiancé--always believed I was a lying, cheating slut. Thus the controlling, isolating behavior, and thus lw's fiancé's latching on to the flimsiest of ostensibly corroborating evidence for his lying, cheating slut hypothesis (the sexual assault) and not letting go.

What is actually tough for the letter writer is that she may still hold a lot of affection and desire for her (hopefully) ex-fiancé. I know I do for my ex, even though she was so emotionally abusive that it's taken years for me to regain some semblance of a healthy self esteem.

Or what @26 said.
Sep 16, 2014 casusbelli commented on How Urban Farming Can Become a Tool for the Oppression of the Poor.
@14, you've never lived in SF, have you
Sep 16, 2014 casusbelli commented on How Urban Farming Can Become a Tool for the Oppression of the Poor.
@1 SF has an enviable amount of public open space.
Jul 11, 2014 casusbelli commented on Watch Matt Binder Debate a Men's Rights Activist Live.
@26, ad hominem attacks are precisely the sort of tactic employed by many MRAs. Calling me confused, ignorant, or dishonest is about as useful as MRAs calling feminists fascists, and about as accurate. I am well aware of the cultural climate in which Pence began her work. I am not saying that IPV was (and is) not a problem that needed to be addressed. What I am saying is that her hypotheses--now disproven--operate, via legal institutions, in a way that hurts men.

Read this, and this.

IPV is not what feminists are saying it is. Women can and do take advantage of domestic violence laws, especially in custody battles. Innocent men, or men who themselves are equally victims (bi-directional IPV) can and are caught up in a system that assumes their maleness means they're violent, and shames and punishes them accordingly. Families are ripped apart by the automatic issuance of restraining orders that even the alleged victim can do little about. A system that assumes a female victim doesn't know what is in her best interest is a part of Pence's legacy.
Jul 11, 2014 casusbelli commented on Watch Matt Binder Debate a Men's Rights Activist Live.
@25, I've read Lindy's essay. Her argument that misandry does not exist is completely false. She argues that our society lacks the systemic discrimination against men that limits our opportunities and says we are mistaking female hatred for us as individuals for institutionalized oppression. Not true. Men who have faced either the family or criminal courts have a strong sense that our institutions discriminate against men. Men who choose to be primary caregivers of their children to the disapproval of their community know the cultural pressure that tries to drive us away from parenthood. A society that ignores female perpetrated IPV is a misandric society. A society that decides an inebriated woman cannot consent to sex and that the inebriated man who had sex with her raped her is a misandric society.

Do feminists contribute to misandry? Yes. By choosing to support gender inequality--especially in the family courts and vis-à-vis IPV--feminists have chosen to foment and reinforce institutional and cultural misandry. But another important thing to keep in mind is that a society in which men and women are unequal is a society that limits the opportunities of and oppresses both women and men. If you want to call that a patriarchal society, then fine. Patriarchy is, then, a source of misogyny and misandry. And incidentally, men and women, both, reinforce misogynistic and misandric systems, institutions, and cultural mores.
Jul 10, 2014 casusbelli commented on Watch Matt Binder Debate a Men's Rights Activist Live.
@18, I am not against all of the ideas that feminists have espoused. To the extent that feminists stand for gender equality, I stand with them. But some feminists have reinforced patriarchal tropes of female weakness when it has suited their needs.
Jul 10, 2014 casusbelli commented on Watch Matt Binder Debate a Men's Rights Activist Live.
@17, You've said quite a lot, and I'm going to do my best to respond to some (if not all) of your points.

I want to be clear that I take issue with the legacy of patriarchy as well as feminism. I understand that I do not conform to the traditional male gender role. I prefer to be the homemaker, not the breadwinner. I like art, music, literature, and cooking, not sports, beer, and whatever else it is the male stereotype is supposed to like. Patriarchy condemns what I am and what I wish to be.

To the extent that feminism and feminists advocate for gender equality, I stand with them. What I take issue with is those feminists who have advocated against gender equality, specifically NOW and Ellen Pence (and her adherents). If by "successful advocacy" you mean successfully transforming disproven hypotheses into domestic violence public polices that are used by some women (like my ex) as tools for abuse, then yes, I will continue to blame that sort of advocacy for injustice I have experienced. My ex told me that her attorney (from a feminist organization) advised her to get and keep a restraining order against me so that it would be impossible for us to share legal custody. Thus I blame both that specific feminist as well as the feminist movement which has positioned women as helpless victims and men as dangerous aggressors.

I also feel (although I'm not sure you've done this) that many people assume that it is only men who reinforce patriarchal structures. This is simply not true. Women are guilty of this as well. I am talking about women who (rightly) insist on equal treatment in the workplace but then (I feel wrongly) characterize "chivalry" as politeness, and expect men to give them special social treatment (opening doors, paying for dinner, and the like). I am talking about women like my ex mother in-law who chastised me for occupying a woman's role when I chose to be a homemaker.

I am absolutely not advocating against the rights of women. An unequal society hurts everybody. I think a woman who really understood this was Karen DeCrow. The Atlantic has a nice piece on her.

Jul 10, 2014 casusbelli commented on Watch Matt Binder Debate a Men's Rights Activist Live.
@13, Ask an attorney about how well men fare in the family courts.

The first thing a judge said to my ex and I in our custody battle is that the natural place for a young child is with her mother.

He said this not knowing that I had been my daughter's primary caregiver (the stay at home dad, if you will). He said that not knowing that my daughter was (and still is) more attached to me than her mother. I would guess that his comment came from a conservative, sexist conception of gender roles, but this is precisely the sort of discrimination NOW decided not to fight against in the 1970s.

That is not some Truther conspiracy nonsense. It is a historical fact.

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