msanonymous
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Jan 7 msanonymous commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Snooper Boyfriend Keeps Snooping Through Passed Out Girlfriend's Phone.
I think Dan forgets that sex often improves because the cheating partner feels *guilty*. It's not that they discovered a new burning love for their partner, it's that they feel bad so they use sex to hide it/make themselves feel better.

This is not sustainable. Either the guilt will turn to resentment which will end the relationship, or confession which might end the relationship.

Either way the relationships ends. Maybe the LW should just DO that instead of acting like the relationship is the Mona Lisa and must be saved at all costs. Even though his girlfriend doesn't feel the same.
Jan 4 msanonymous commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Newly Engageed Woman Debates Confessing Bullshit "Infidelity" Or Keeping Mouth Shut.
Floriobama I would recommend you not marry your fiancé then. If their attitude is anything like ExplosiveAnonymous then you need to get out of the relationship.

Because people who value truth above all don't actually care about the truth. They care about the power the truth gives and how they can use it hurt the people around them. They don't care about causing pain and destroying lives because truth trumps those things.

And of course these rules never, eve apply to them. They can lie through their teeth about anything it's completely acceptable in their eyes. Should you even try to call them on it they'll bring the thunder.
Jan 3 msanonymous commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Newly Engageed Woman Debates Confessing Bullshit "Infidelity" Or Keeping Mouth Shut.
Floribama Can you change your email and phone number? That would be a good of protecting yourself from this guy.

But do you need protection? If he's been taunting or stalking you that's one thing, but if he's been keeping his mouth shut I don't see any reason to believe that he won't continue to do so. He arguably has more to lose than you since do to him being married when this happened.

I mean you could 'destroy' him just as easily as he could 'destroy' you.
Dec 15, 2016 msanonymous commented on Savage Love.
@35 Except it's also true. Hell DONE and #29 are great examples of the 'I'm more tolerant than you bullshit' that pushes people away.

Maybe we should trying to point fingers at who's the most racist and instead work on stemming Trump's damage.
Dec 14, 2016 msanonymous commented on Savage Love.
DONE I get it I really do. But don't fall in the Tumblr SJW trap of taking things out on your allies because it's easier and they'll put up with it. Lashing out at your lovers for things they really have no control over isn't going to help. As others have pointed out we HAVE been trying to change minds. but if 'grab them by the pussy' and his humiliation in the debates couldn't do it I really doubt anything we could say would change their minds.

If you need time to process that's fine but put your energy towards anti-Trump groups, not ragging on your friends.
Dec 8, 2016 msanonymous commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: This Boy Or That Boy And Other False Choices.
@ 37+38

We need a version DTMFA that can be used when the person isn't a mother-fucker.

Dump the Decent but Mismatched person Already?
Dec 8, 2016 msanonymous commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: This Boy Or That Boy And Other False Choices.
Don't you just pick someone and love them?

No?

I mean this sounds like a terrible way to have a relationship. You should like the person your with. You should share interests and values. Picking someone at random and sticking with them till death sounds like a miserable way to live. All relationships take effort and have rough patches, but as Dan said the good should outweigh the bad.

Look it sucks that your BF is depressed but that's not your problem. He needs to deal with it and it sounds like he really hasn't been doing that. It's not your job to save him or heal him.

DTMFA. It'll be better for the both of you.
Dec 8, 2016 msanonymous commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Current BF and the Ex-Intern.
LW
DTMFA. This guy is cheating on and he's fucking with your head. And even if he was faithful it's clear you're not happy in this relationship.
End things. You deserve better.
Dec 2, 2016 msanonymous commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: We Will Never Get Closure On CLOSURE.
@34 The problem is the 'over and over' part. How many discussions do you have to have until it's enough? If someone doesn't believe you are you now bound to them until they do? Are you supposed to keep having the 'why we broke' up talk a decade from now when you're both married to other people with kids?

If someone doesn't want to believe what you tell them there's nothing you can do. The Dumper is not obligated to have the same conversation over and over until the Dumpee sees the light.
Nov 30, 2016 msanonymous commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: We Will Never Get Closure On CLOSURE.
@3 Wow the 'What about the MENS' folks are out early.

Look sometime there is no clear cut explanation. And constantly asking for one, constantly reopening that wound and turning yourself into a pseudo-stalker is not the way to deal with it.

You missed the most important part. That closure is something we give ourselves by refusing to be dragged into the morass of 'what went wrong'. Closure is accepting the explanation were given even if doesn't fix everything, or make our pain go away.