Mar 21, 2014
commented on What I Want to Know Is Why You Hate Porn Stars
I think a lot of people's discomfort with porn amounts to a variation on the third-party effect hypothesis--an old communications theory that says people tend to overestimate "the effects of a mass-communicated message on the generalized other" while downplaying the effect of that message on themselves. Combine that with our Puritanical heritage and you've got a recipe for some seriously skewed views on the damaging nature of mass media devoted to the depiction of sex.
Jul 1, 2013
commented on Facing the Torsos
To add to what Tazz602 said above, not only is the behavior Habib describes not all that different from the anonymous sex culture of yesteryear, it's also strikingly similar to what came between those days and the advent of apps: more than a decade of Internet chat rooms and hookup or dating sites, which is curiously absent from his analysis. The sexual consumerism, which the endless availability of porn on the Web has certainly played a part in facilitating, and the impulse to jack off and call it a night are if anything more extreme with hookup websites than with apps given that with the former one is likely to be more tied to a computer and therefore in a home or hotel room one is reluctant to leave.
Internet profiles also tend to be wordier and therefore more conducive to encouraging the kinds of personality fantasies Habib describes, and the comparative ease and speed of typing on a real keyboard allows for the possibility (though not the inevitability) of longer, more complex chats, for better and for worse. It's also worth noting that now that hookup websites often also have apps, it's easier for clashes of communication styles to occur between a chatty Cathy on a computer and a terse, typo-prone app user.
That said, I think the mobility and somewhat greater brevity associated with apps makes them somewhat of a bridge between bar/bathhouse hookup culture and hookup website culture. My experience is that hookup websites are more likely to involve endless negotiations and a need on one or more of the users' parts to know everything that's going to happen in advance, whereas apps sometimes allow a little of the spontaneity and mystery of bar hookups to return. Often (by no means always) there seems to be a little more willingness with apps to hook up with someone without needing total certainty as to how exactly how big his dick his or exactly what will go down.
Dec 1, 2011
commented on Update on the Art Critic Who Asked Me to Marry Him
@2 You are a typical defender of The Art Guys Marry a Plant (which is the correct title of the piece, Jen -- not The Art Guys Marry a Tree; they're very sensitive about that). That is, you have nothing to say about it, only praise for the Art Guys in general, along with the say-nothing "you don't have to like it" disclaimer. (While I was already aware I didn't have to like it, I appreciate your pointing that out.)
I value the Art Guys' contributions to the Houston art scene and have enjoyed much of their work, though none from this recent period in which they are supposedly thinking deeply about "mortality" and "life cycles" -- Toby Kamps' stammering, disingenuous defense.
Kamps is joined to the Art Guys' hip, having championed them at least since the 1990s. But a champion who lacks discernment is no champion at all. I have no problem with the Menil acquiring the Art Guys' work and asked Kamps why he didn't acquire one of their better pieces. His excuse was that he had "midwifed" the piece when he was senior curator at the Contemporary Arts Museum Houston, when the mock wedding was first staged. Why this obligates the Menil Collection, whose director, Josef Helfenstein, made a point of promising that "you will see very different things from Toby" when Kamps was hired, to abandon its standards is beyond me.
I am happy to concede that my accumulated body of work may not compare favorably with the Art Guys' work in 15 years (though it stands a much better chance if they keep tarnishing their admirable legacy at this rate). How, exactly, does that obligate me to avoid making a piece -- The Art Gay Marries a Woman -- that points out the fraudulence of their claim that The Art Guys Marry a Plant blurs the boundary between art and life? And what does that fact that Massing once lived in Seattle have to do with anything?
I'll take Jen as a champion over someone like Kamps or you any day. She said what she liked about my work and didn't mince words about where she thought it came up short, then encouraged me to go out and do better. You and Kamps, meanwhile, can go right on sucking the Art Guys' cocks and telling them how huge they are.
Nov 12, 2011
joined My Stranger Face
Nov 12, 2011
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Easing Him Into It (And It Into Him)
I think it's a safe bet the answer to Dan's question is no. The LW never considered a nobody-gets-fucked frottage session because, like a lot of people, he thinks sex means somebody ALWAYS has to get fucked and any session that doesn't include that is all foreplay. That's why he complains that he "always" has to get the pipe; in his view, someone must get the pipe each and every time.
Dan's advice is running seriously counter to the LW's worldview, which although widely shared is not as universal as people like the LW think it is.