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Jun 17, 2015 magicdoyle commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Family From Hell.
I was at a wedding a couple of weeks ago. The toxic family was present (mom and sisters are awful, dad is questionable but was supportive of the wedding so behaved himself).

The sisters were bridesmaids. I think my friend thought it might help mend the void between them. For one, it might have a little. For the older sister, though -- that heinous woman told the bride on the morning of the wedding that their dad had cancer. (It wasn't a lie -- he does, but he was THERE and had decided not to tell her until after the big day, so it's doubly cruel because that was HIS NEWS, HIS DECISION to make.)

The bride held it together once the ceremony started, so I had no idea about this until she told me when she was coming around table to table -- and the only reason she told me, I think, is because we grew up together and I know her sisters.

Then apparently Big Sis decided she had not ruined the day thoroughly enough, so she told their other sister, who was in from out of town and also hadn't been told. At the head table. During dinner.

Seriously. Do not invite your toxic family to your wedding.
Dec 11, 2013 magicdoyle commented on Savage Love.
You guys, I've said it before and I'll say it again: for the sake of not excluding alphabet-letters, we need to rename all Gay-Straight Alliances ORGASM: ORGanization for Allies of Sexual Minorities.
Feb 15, 2013 magicdoyle commented on Poetic Justice.
Dec 3, 2012 magicdoyle commented on Savage Love Episode 316.
Yeah, Dan, definitely made me cry there at the end. Congratulations -- I'm so happy for you guys.
Feb 29, 2012 magicdoyle commented on Savage Love.
I guess I should add -- I say this because my first (and so far only) threesome was with my partner (he's male, I'm female) and a dear female friend of both of ours who he'd known growing up. We both trust her absolutely, and she and I conversed on the ground rules beforehand. Actually, each of us discussed ground rules as a twosome first, which helped because it meant that if there was a ground rule I had that I wasn't sure if he was aware of, I could discuss it with her first and make sure we were on the same page so that we could come together as a united front. All of us agreed not to do PIV sex. There was never any point at which I was afraid either of them would break this ground rule because of this very sound prior conversation series.
Feb 29, 2012 magicdoyle commented on Savage Love.
I'm a little surprised we haven't brought up the third's part in this. Not that it mitigates the husband's responsibility in any way, but the third surely was informed going into this that there would be no PIV. I'm not saying it's this woman's fault for allowing herself to be fucked, but I do think it's incredibly important to trust your third to also obey your ground rules. Obviously if she's not someone they know well, her betrayal is almost inconsequential, but as advice to future three-way-with-boundary-havers: make sure your third knows and agrees to your ground rules, and make sure you trust him/her.
Feb 15, 2012 magicdoyle commented on SL Letter of the Day: Anger Mismanagement.
I'm 100% with @7. If the BF and his BFF decided it was a terrible idea that could ruin their relationship/s... I cannot imagine any reason in the world to keep those pictures.

But then, I mean, I can't imagine any reason in the world to HAVE pictures of oneself cheating on one's partner of five years. Like. Doing the thing that could mess up what are theoretically your two most important relationships, with your partner and your BFF, is already showing an assload of poor judgement. Documenting it, making evidence of it, seems almost self-sabotaging. Relationship suicide.

Now, if BF had had some excuse about using these pics, ahem, commercially, I might have believed that he had ANY GOOD REASON to keep them. (Scrambling for excuses for him here.) In any case, my take is that this guy is either (a) dumb as rocks, (b) trying to sabotage his LTR, or (c) both.
Feb 8, 2012 magicdoyle commented on SL Letter of the Day: Tower of Label.
Oh -- I meant to add that I *don't* say this because I think LW should start labeling herself to identify this way if she doesn't feel it. I think it'd just confuse a lot of people, from my experience in hearing people on the asexual spectrum try to get it through to people. My personal experience is that people tend to understand "queer" better, and perhaps judge less. I think very specific labels sometimes scare people... But for the sexual orientation scholars she might encounter, this could be an accurate way to describe it.
Feb 8, 2012 magicdoyle commented on SL Letter of the Day: Tower of Label.
Several of the sexual-minority communities I've encountered (e.g. asexual and demisexual comms) operate with a very helpful distinction between sexual and romantic attraction. Sounds like this girl is bisexual and heteroromantic, by those standards. I say this because I think that since so many people's sexual and romantic orientations align, we sometimes forget that they aren't necessarily actually the same... It's what people get confused about when asexual folks talk about being in romantic relationships. You can be romantic with someone you don't fuck, but you can also fuck someone you'd never consider getting romantic with. You know what I mean.
Nov 30, 2011 magicdoyle joined My Stranger Face