Nov 17 marmer commented on Savage Love.
CMDwannabe @ 29,

The witch in _Hansel and Gretel_ is often played by a tenor. In most of the several productions I've seen, the part was played by a man, with campy fake breasts. In fact, I remember the spectacular bursting of a beanbag breast in a dress rehearsal.
Nov 10 marmer commented on Savage Love.
I work in the music business, and the "brown M&M rule" is bullshit. Tour groups have road managers and tour managers and at least a couple of very savvy tech crew. Big venues have professional staffs and crew leaders whose job it is to communicate with the tour groups and get the important stuff handled. Some stupid catering whim doesn't have anything to do with the professionalism of the stage staff. At best it's a distraction.
Oct 20 marmer commented on Savage Love.
Yep. Every female friend I've ever been close enough to to have a conversation about this has had at least one, usually several, experiences of stalking or unwanted touching, or worse. Every one of them.
Jun 23 marmer commented on Savage Love.
Wouldn't it be best practice to choose a name at work that is not something like "Spike" or "Butch" or "Rock" or "Baby?" Even if it's not sexual in any way, there are a lot of nicknames that seem rather unprofessional and it seems like a small compromise just to use your name, or your middle name, or some traditionally informal thing like "Billy" or "Kathy."
Oct 22, 2015 marmer commented on Savage Love.
I think the most telling thing in SMART's letter is that she's not flirting back. A sixtyish, smart, self-aware woman will probably be capable of flirting very effectively should she choose to. It's likely that she's in a committed relationship and SMART, only knowing her professionally, doesn't know that, or she's just not interested in him. Still, a respectful pass is a compliment, as Dan says, and she should be able to say "Thanks, that's sweet and I am flattered, but I'm not interested," without it crushing him emotionally. For what it's worth I still fondly remember the times that someone kindly but honestly made it clear to me that she wasn't interested. Seemed like the polite thing to do.
May 28, 2015 marmer commented on Savage Love.
A lot of people seem to be assuming Matchbox or Hot Wheels-size toy cars. There are much smaller ones given as party favors, for example, which are plausible insertion size. I'm with the prohibitionists on this one. By the time he discovers porn he'll have perhaps developed enough maturity of judgement to know what he can and can't use should he still have that curiosity.
Dec 12, 2014 marmer commented on Savage Love.
Uncreative, I apologize if I missed it. Is being agender equivalent to asexual? I understand that they aren't identical concepts, but do you feel sexual attraction?
Oct 30, 2014 marmer commented on Savage Love.
And another thing. I've had a dental checkup a couple times a year pretty much my whole life, and they always give me a toothbrush. It's extremely easy to get hold of an old, no-longer-used-for-brushing-teeth toothbrush. Thanks to the bristles, I'd be a lot less worried about the "getting it stuck" issue than I would about the "carving a groove in his sexual response" issue, if the kid wants to double down on using a toothbrush in that way. Although that issue is in my opinion, over-ridden by the "don't talk to your kids about masturbation" taboo.
Oct 30, 2014 marmer commented on Savage Love.
Why is everyone saying that ASFH's boyfriend has only one belt? Adult men need at least two: a black one for dark colored pants and a brown one for khakis and brown-shade pants. Not to mention the distinction between casual and dress belts.



And I agree with Tim. I can't think of any reason why a parent should buy or even help buy any kind of sexual item for their child without it being profoundly awkward at best. And I think the risk of an emergency room visit is rather overstated. The need for discretion and cleanliness, however, is not. That should be POPS' approach.
Sep 4, 2014 marmer commented on Savage Love.
From what I've seen of comparatively normal women down here in Texas, the comfort toward the concept of porn that is seen in Savage Love Land is generally not shared in the larger world. I've never met a woman who I knew well enough to talk about it with who was OK with any part of porn. It really has more to do with the existence of coercion in the porn industry and discomfort with their partners being aroused by seeing other, potentially more attractive, women than it does with religion or feminism. Also, remember that until the age of the internet, a lot of porn, even made by adults of legal age, was illegal. That cultural stigma, like the one around pot, dies hard for a lot of people.