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Write or Wrong
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I love writing, reading, speaking French, filmmaking, and traveling I met Dan Savage when he… more »


  • What keeps you up at night?: Whirling thoughts
  • SF or LA
  • Dicks or Vaginas
  • What book have you read the most?: "Mathilda Savitch" by Victor Lodato
  • What helps you sleep?: Softness, warmth, and occasionally NyQuil

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Nov 12 Write or Wrong commented on SL Letter of the Day: Dr. Lori Brotto Steps In.
@13, I think you're reading wayyyyyyyyyy too much into @9's response. I didn't get any sex-negative or procreation-negative vibe from their response at all. I think s/he was just trying to say that a lot of ladies will read this and, thinking of how painful it would be to have such an injury, literally cross their legs at the thought. I know I did.
Nov 5 Write or Wrong commented on Savage Love.
@24 I was wondering the same thing. I reread the first letter multiple times, and there is no indication anywhere in the letter or signature that the LW is female. Anyone have an idea why Jillian (and most likely Dan, too) assumed this?
Oct 12 Write or Wrong commented on As Ridership on Light Rail Grows, Citizens of This City Need to Improve Their Social Intelligence.
Jesus Christ, get off Charles's back. He posted this to make a point in hopes that some people would read it and stop this behavior if they're guilty of it OR speak up when they see this behavior.
Sep 22 Write or Wrong commented on The Fall Is Hard—Just Look at All the Art That's Been Made About It.
Beautiful reflections on fall, and life.
Sep 15 Write or Wrong commented on This Is an IKEA Ad.
Ads from other countries always seem strange by our American sensibilities.
May 14 Write or Wrong commented on The Devil Made That Lesbian Do It.
Who else testified that one of the [possibly lesbian] women started growling and throwing chocolates at him? Why isn't the Washington Post asking for more sources here instead of taking this asshat's word as fact?
Aug 15, 2013 Write or Wrong commented on Someone Needs to Watch Some Gay Porn.
Gay women can also have sex facing each other. It takes more work and/or toys, but it happens all the time.
Jun 10, 2013 Write or Wrong commented on SL Letter of the Day: I'm Gay and Being Bullied By My Hyper-Religious Parents—What Do I Do?.
Dear M,

Do what you can to keep the sexuality conversations with your parents at a minimum. If they want to ignore it for the time being, let that happen. If they try to engage you, do your best to deflect the conversation. You will be out of their house before you know it.

I suggest that you get a job if you don't already have one and start a savings account (preferably one that your parents cannot access, if that's possible for minors). Save as much money as you can. If your parents pay for your college, that is wonderful. Don't feel guilty for taking advantage of that. But keep working and saving money. Then, after college, you will have a good amount of money to begin living independently from your parents AND you will have a bit of work experience to get a really good job.

Two things I suggest showing to your parents at some point (maybe soon, maybe not for a few years) are Matthew Vines's hour-long video "The Bible and Homosexuality" and the documentary "For the Bible Tells Me So."

For yourself, read things--books you can find in the library or articles and blogs online--about gay news and overcoming obstacles when coming out. There are tons of resources, and I find that just reading about other people's struggles and knowing that others have made it through this helps me. Since you wrote to Dan I'm sure you know about It Gets Better, but honestly, I think just watching the videos helps. The way I think of it is that there are many people who have gone through exactly what you're going through and at a time where the general population was less accepting that it is now. I'm not trying to trivialize what you're going through by saying that others have had it harder, but I am saying that many people have gotten through this, and you can, too. You will.

My final suggestion is to write yourself a letter. Write whatever you want to. Write about what you're feeling right now, how your parents are reacting to your coming out, and things that you hope will happen in the future. When you are finished, seal the letter. Do not open it for five years. I did this for the first time as a school exercise, and five years later my teacher sent me my letter. A year and a half ago, I wrote myself a new letter, about my feelings, my thoughts about coming out, and my hopes and dreams. A lot has changed since I wrote the letter--I've kissed a girl for the first time, had a girlfriend, come out to my parents, come out to many friends, written a lot, and in general, begun to live openly and honestly. I have been tempted to open the letter whenever I think about it, but I know that I must wait--because three and a half years from now, so many more wonderful things will have happened to me, and reading the letter will be so much better if I wait.

One last thing: I know this is not exactly comforting, but remember that your parents have not given up on you. They have not thrown you out on the street. Yes, they may have turned on you in other ways, it sounds like they are bullying you, but they still love you and they are not completely rejecting you. That's not nothing. There is hope for them to come around.

Best of luck to you! You are strong, and your life will be amazing one day very soon.
Jun 3, 2013 Write or Wrong commented on Savage Love.
Is SLAVE dating Jesus? Because that's the only way to explain the capitalization of Boyfriend and every He/Him/His.
May 7, 2013 Write or Wrong commented on The Treaty of Versailles Almost Never Comes Up During Gay Sex.
During straight sex, on the other hand....

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