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May 8, 2013 PuzzledKiwi commented on Savage Love.
@45 This letter could easily have been written by somebody dating my ex. I supported him for years as he lived like a dead beat. Couldn't find a job (I'm not qualified! It's hard!), can't go back to school (My grades aren't good enough! It's hard!), can't be bothered to clean the house (It's hard!) because all he does all day is jerk it and play wow. Mention to him it'd be nice if he pitched in, and he throws a fit, blaming me for all his problems. So I worked. And cooked. And cleaned. And hoped he'd get his shit together.

In my case, it was neither Stockholm syndrome or 0 self esteem. I loved the guy, and he knew perfectly how to play to that - every time I got close to dumping him, he'd sense it, and apologize / go to a therapist for a couple of weeks ("I'm depressed!" "I have ADHD!" "I can't do this!"). Then he'd slowly work back to being a deadbeat. I was young enough (and dumb enough) to believe that he would change and grow with enough time and support.

This went on for 6 years. Then, I met a terrific man who made me realize that not all men are deadbeats. I dumped my bf, and started dating the other guy. Before we broke up, the ex promised he'd change, if I gave him just a bit more time. I asked him how much more time he was going to need - six years seemed like plenty. He had no response.

The ex was in some ways a perfect manipulator of people. He knew exactly how much he had to apologize and give in order to keep playing off people's good intentions. So that he could get away with addictive and abusive behavior the rest of the time.

The thing that really makes me sad is that he plays our breakup off as though I were a CPOS and he's the aggrieved party (I did have some CPOS behavior for about 2 weeks before our breakup, so this is partly true). I'm sure it gains him some epic sympathy points with women, to start the cycle all over again. It's disgusting.
Mar 14, 2013 PuzzledKiwi commented on Child Rape, Inc..
@15 The Church teaches that priests are humans, and fallible. Yes, they act in persona christe during the liturgy. And yes, priests should behave in a moral manner. No, priests aren't perfectly moral. Just like all of us. There's a line in the liturgy that speaks to this as it applies to priests:
[Priest] Remember, O Lord, according to the multitude of your mercies, my own unworthiness. Pardon my every offense both voluntary and involuntary, and do not withhold the grace of your Holy Spirit from these Gifts here set forth because of my sins.

Once again, this does not excuse abuser-priests. But Catholicisim doesn't teach that priests are divine. It doesn't hold that priests are sinless. In fact, all priests are sinners - Catholicism teaches there have only ever been two sinless people.

@10 I agree that the enablers are disgusting and should also be punished. But Catholics aren't the only ones who harbor rapists. The quickest site I could find is a foundation trying to raise awareness of the abuse of minors online (http://www.cpiu.us/). They hold that among those teachers who have faced allegations of sexual abuse:
38.7% of the teachers resigned, left the district, or retired
17.5% were spoken to informally
15% were terminated or not re-hired
11.3% received a formal verbal or written reprimand
8.1% were suspended and then resumed teaching
7.5% were cases where the superintendent determined that the teacher hadn’t meant to sexually abuse
Of the nearly 54% of abusers who resigned, weren’t rehired, retired, or were terminated, superintendents reported that 16% were teaching in other schools and that they didn’t know what had happened to the other 84%. All but 1% of these teachers retained a teaching license.

What the Catholic Church has done is wrong. And it's even more wrong to realize that somebody who is supposed to minister to the people has abused a position of respect and authority. But priests are not unique in their capacity for abuse.

And to be honest, the only reason I'm mentioning these stats is because, above, Dan alleged that they were/are with his Denny's snark.
Mar 14, 2013 PuzzledKiwi commented on Child Rape, Inc..
Denny's... So, a place people go regularly? You mean like a public school?

Data from the American Association of University Women Educational Foundation (2000) indicate that 290,000 students were physically sexually assaulted by teachers between 1991-2000 (compare with 11,000 Catholic children between 1950 and 2000).

The Department of Education posits that between 6 and 10% of students will be sexually harassed or assaulted by a teacher over the course of their public education.

It doesn't make what happens in the Catholic Church right. But to pretend that priests are the only predators out there is ignoring the fact that sexual abuse of children is tragically common. And that a Catholic child is far, far less likely to be abused at his church than in his public school.
Nov 5, 2012 PuzzledKiwi commented on Family Fights for Control of Mentally-Disabled Woman's Uterus.
They have at least five other children who appear to be neurotypical. The six kids mentioned in the media (which includes Elisa) were siblings adopted together. The parents chose to care for the "broken" child.

So, I'm going to guess that this isn't an attempt to use a disabled woman to incubate a grandchild.

The parents also claim to have six families lined up who are willing to adopt the child if Elisa carries it to term, so they don't appear to want a baby for themselves.
Nov 5, 2012 PuzzledKiwi commented on Family Fights for Control of Mentally-Disabled Woman's Uterus.
@24 are these families unable / unwilling to use a reversible, long-term of BC like an IUD or implant? Obviously, in the last case yes - and that's absolutely heartbreaking. But in cases where it appears to be the law that's the problem, and not the families?

That's a horrible dilemma and position to be in. Can't even imagine.
Nov 5, 2012 PuzzledKiwi commented on Family Fights for Control of Mentally-Disabled Woman's Uterus.
It's a modifier though... "Reverend Deacon" or "Reverend Father" or "Reverend Patriarch". It's not its own title.

BTW, I'd like to see some more digging around on this... I was really annoyed when this started hitting my FB feed through some pro-life friends last night. I figure there's another side of the story as to why the State had appointed somebody to represent Elisa's best interests. And I've been waiting for a non-biased source to pick it up and explain what's going on. Sadly, this doesn't seem to be something I can use to throw another set of facts into the discussion.
Nov 5, 2012 PuzzledKiwi commented on Family Fights for Control of Mentally-Disabled Woman's Uterus.
So, from what I read on another site, this slog snippet does misrepresent some of what's going on.

The parents don't want to discontinue Elisa's seizure medication. They wanted to make sure that the seizure medication she's on is not going to harm the baby - hence consulting with a doctor. Who - at least on another article - is quoted as saying that women with epilepsy do successfully carry pregnancies to term - while on their meds - but that there is an increased risk of a disabled child due to the epilepsy meds.

I'm also confused about the married Catholic priest with the title of Reverend. There are a few married priests running around, but I'm reasonably sure this isn't one of them, and he'd be Fr, not Rev.
Jun 1, 2012 PuzzledKiwi commented on Rural America: White Poverty.
Yeah, I read a great article on her a while ago at Slate. I figured it was an apt comparison for the book though.

Jun 1, 2012 PuzzledKiwi commented on Rural America: White Poverty.
And as Kitty Genovese learned, in the city, they'll hear you scream but do nothing.

Don't get me wrong. Both have their drawbacks, and both their benefits. The stereotypes persist because of some element of truth. But the speed with which purportedly educated Sloggers seem to be willing to parrot the most blase stereotypes is staggering.
Jun 1, 2012 PuzzledKiwi commented on Rural America: White Poverty.
I for one pity those people in urban america. They live in dirty, corrupt, and violent cities with nothing to their lives but the acquisition of empty material goods. You almost can't fault them for voting democrat. They have this naive trust in the government to keep them safe from the deranged lunatic next door who wants nothing more than to run off with the plasma TV and 900 threadcount sheets after murdering an entire family.

Why would anybody want to live in such a place?