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Petticoat Philosopher
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Apr 16, 2013 Petticoat Philosopher commented on Savage Love Episode 338.
Also, I have to agree that the conversation with Emily Bazelon was somewhat disappointing. Why is she downplaying the rape so much? The girl was drunk. She barely remembers what happened. She was assaulted by 4 boys who thought it was just hilarious and took pictures of it. What exactly is "alleged" about this rape?

It's all well and good to talk about the way girls are slut-shamed for being sexually active or sexual in any way. That's an important issue to talk about. But it's a separate one from rape and it's not helping anyone to conflate to the two. It's important to focus on the bullying issue but I'm confused as to why so many people are so squeamish about talking about the event that set off the whole hellish 2 years of bullying that this girl faced: an act of sexual violence.

On the upside, Dan, it sounds like you're doing a great job raising your teenage son. Until we do find more solutions to these problems, it sounds like you've got the right idea with keeping tabs on your son's phone use and maintaining a dialogue with him about what having the power that it gives him can potentially mean.
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Apr 16, 2013 Petticoat Philosopher commented on Savage Love Episode 338.
Indighost--Why, because you might get yourself raped? Wow, it looks like the victim-blamers have followed all the way to the podcast comments!

Look, I'm not a heavy drinker myself but I've been incredibly drunk a handful of times in my life and nothing bad happened to me except a headache in the morning, certainly not rape. Know why? Because there weren't any rapists around! End of story. Is getting black-out drunk on a regular basis a healthy lifestyle choice? Absolutely not. Is it something you can expect teenagers who are inexperienced at drinking and haven't learned their personal limits yet to do? Yep. And then they can learn their lessons from the hangover. That should be the worst that ever happens.

Rape happens because of rapists, not alcohol. Bullying happens because of bullies, not alcohol. Irresponsible and lax law enforcement happens because of bad laws and apathetic, if not downright contemptuous people charged to carry them out, not alcohol.

Can we just please pretend we're a civilized society and agree on this already?
Mar 21, 2013 Petticoat Philosopher commented on Savage Love Episode 334.
Yeah, I think it was silly to focus on weather or not teenage boys (or any straight or bi men) are turned on by breast-feeding--of course some of them are! How can Dan doubt that, considering he regularly takes calls and letters from people who are turned on by far more out-there things? The real issue is whether or not the caller is being a controlling, jealous jerk and the answer is a resounding "yes!" Who cares if his wife/girlfriend (I forget which) feeding their baby in public might possibly incite somebody somewhere to go home and jack off? If women were to seriously concern themselves with how Things They Might Do might possibly cause some stranger somewhere to get sexually excited, we'd have to never leave the house. Perhaps that would be the caller's ideal scenario?
Mar 20, 2013 Petticoat Philosopher commented on Savage Love.
Okay, and now I just went back and saw Dan's preface that he says he still gets this question on a daily basis. Wow, now that is depressing. Also still totally bewildered as to how I managed to miss this, given how many ridiculous things I've heard come out of the mouths of stupid people over the years...
Mar 20, 2013 Petticoat Philosopher commented on Savage Love.
Wow! I was a 11/12-year-old girl in 1998 who had plenty of daily contact with idiot 13-year-old boys who giggled about some pretty ridiculous and disgusting homophobic urban myths on a regular basis. Yet, I can safely that this one--which is undoubtedly the grossest and most bizarre one I've ever heard--did not once cross my radar. I'm kind of dumbfounded that enough people, even 13-year-old people, ever entertained its possibility that Dan had to write an entire column addressing it. Damn, those were different times!
Feb 20, 2013 Petticoat Philosopher commented on Savage Love Episode 330.
Wow, EXACTLY what Rachel W. said (which others seem to agree with as well.) Seriously, I'm supposed to think this little putz is some kind of wunderkind because he can make oh-so-original jokes about oversensitive, shrewish girlfriends who need to be condescended to and indulged with--get this--low-fat yogurt? Har har har, it's hilarious, because teh wimminz love low-cal things and yogurt, amirite? Sorry, but any douchebag complaining at a bar could publish a book full of such tired old cliches. Btw, I am also an unmarried, childless 20-something and I too could write a fluffy, comic piece about farting husbands and kids ruining their parents' sex lives. Can I be famous too? Can all the other people who have also seen a sitcom at some point in their lives and who are therefore equally capable of such a task?

Hearing his long resume contrasted with his actual work didn't impress me with how accomplished he was for his age. It just reminded me how low the bar really is for wealthy, well-connected white boys. (I looked him up on wikipedia out of curiosity. Looks like he's the son of Frank Rich, the NY Times columnist, and a mother who's a big shot in the publishing industry. Yeah, he really clawed his way up from obscurity on talent alone!)

Honestly, Dan, I'm extremely disappointed. You usually have much funnier, wiser, and/or more interesting guests. Did you owe this kid's parents a favor or something?
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Jan 9, 2013 Petticoat Philosopher commented on Savage Love Episode 324.
@23 Yeah, my understanding has always been that "morning glory" is a British slang term for the boner a guy wakes up with. But the thing is, that's not a common expression here in the states. I've never heard an American use it. We tend to say "morning wood" instead. As an American, my first thought when someone says "morning glory" is the flower. So wanting to change "Morning Glory Rd." because it sounds too sexual is like kids giggling every time someone says the phrase "do it," no matter the context. My first thought when I heard about this was to think "WTF, who wants to change it, Beavis and Butthead?" lol. You really need to have sex on the brain. Which we know those Mormons and other conservative Christians do. :-P
Jan 8, 2013 Petticoat Philosopher commented on Savage Love Episode 324.
Mettlesome, does he really need his cock to be totally engulfed by your mouth in order for the eye contact to have the proper effect? Can't you play with the tip or the underside with your tongue or your lips, put your mouth on his balls, basically do other things that allow you to angle your head so that you can actually look up at him?
Oct 25, 2012 Petticoat Philosopher commented on Savage Love Episode 313.
Hmmm...Dan, you say some very insightful things about the policing of male sexuality and how men feel the need to live up to certain tropes, like the idea that ALL MEN EVERYWHERE like porn. Well-said and well-done. Except I'm confused, because this is a myth that you yourself perpetuate on your show all the time and it's always driven me nuts! Yes, MOST men like porn but, it's true, not ALL men do and it's not necessarily because there's something wrong with them. I get that you're often trying to make the larger point to jealous girlfriends that their boyfriends' taste for porn is normal, not deviant, but you're still part of the problem when you make the sweeping statement that all men like porn. If this is not, in fact, what you really believe, as you seemed to make clear in this most recent podcast, then stop saying it! Stop contributing to the pathologizing of men who don't like all of the things that most men like. If you don't like the male sexuality police--and good on you for bringing this issue up--don't be part of it!
Oct 10, 2012 Petticoat Philosopher commented on Savage Love Episode 310.
No need to shame men if they don't do anything shameful, Snowguy. But not even being able to TOUCH your wife (for a cuddle) when she's pregnant? Or, if you can't hack intercourse, give her a "loving assist," as Dan would say? That is fucking shameful.

I hardly think I'm being harsh. I'm not saying that every man is obligated to be aroused by his heavily pregnant wife--there's no point in saying so since, as others have pointed out, that's not the way hard-ons work. But to deny her all physical intimacy, even non-sexual intimacy? Grow the hell up. It's pregnancy, not leprosy. Sorry, but I gotta call 'em like I see 'em.
 

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