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Oct 23, 2013 luminara commented on Savage Love.
@BBW: There's no good alternative to self confidence when it comes to worrying about appearance. If she doesn't like her body, she will try to find reasons why you might not like it either. It tends to be the insecure types that really don't want their boyfriends looking at porn.

If she is OK with her body and you are physically attracted to her, then you can get to the point where you can honestly say things like "I like you but I also like looking at other body types/boob sizes/etc." without starting an emotional shitstorm.

Not sure how to get there, but very happy to be in a relationship where the latter is (mostly) true.
Jul 18, 2013 luminara commented on Sprawl Kills.
There is no good reason why rural should correspond to culturally repressed, but unfortunately for sociopolitical reasons it has worked out that way in this country. I grew up as an oddball way out in the boonies (~2 people/square km, 10 miles to the nearest town of 1000) in Minnesota, and I wouldn't trade that experience for anything in a city. Unfortunately I did have to deal with the other kids from the area, many of whom were assholes that did their best to make my life hell.

Since then I've lived in and around a series of progressive small towns - Crested Butte, CO; Northfield, MN; Corvallis, OR - and I am engaged with the movement of intentional communities and back-to-the-land small farmers seeking to merge the progressive values now mainly found in cities with the priceless (to me at least) experience of rural life in close contact with nature.
Apr 6, 2013 luminara commented on SL Letter of the Day: Porn Conundrum.
Wow! Sure is a lot of paranoia in the comment thread today. Can anyone cite an example of someone being put in prison/given sex offender status for possession of self-shot sex videos of him/herself taken when he/she was a minor?

I agree that making copies/burning DVDs may be unwise, because any sort of digital copy runs the risk of escape to the internets, and any child porn on the internets will attract the FBI, and if the FBI can track it back to you then you will at least be in for a lot of paperwork if not an actual case against you.

Also depends of course on the degree of trust between you and her now. If you are lifelong soul mates, live in the same town, would trust each other with your lives, then why not go ahead and make the copies, but tell no one else and destroy any digital versions as soon as the DVDs are burned.

I for one do not consider it perverted to revisit the sexual adventures of one's own younger days.
Feb 28, 2012 luminara commented on SL Letters of the Day: Feedback, We Get Feedback....
@49: You said it better than I could. I feel just as threatened by evangelistic atheists as I do by evangelistic Christians. The former tell me emphatically that there is no higher power and I'm stupid to believe in one. The latter support bigoted rules and tell me I'm going to hell if I don't believe their version of the story.

@47: I said I find life more meaningful if I believe as I do; I didn't say my life is somehow more meaningful than yours. That said I don't hold beliefs simply because they make life more comfortable, and as a scientist myself I don't accept that my beliefs are incompatible with modern science.

To me, there is no one truth. Many people search for truth, and we all find our own answers. Some people don't search and simply accept what they are told; that is how bigotry is born. Do not belittle those whose search has brought them to a different truth than your own.
Feb 27, 2012 luminara joined My Stranger Face
Feb 27, 2012 luminara joined My Stranger Face
Feb 27, 2012 luminara commented on SL Letters of the Day: Feedback, We Get Feedback....
Wow lots of angry atheists on here....

I find that a world inhabited by souls, synchronicities, and spiritual energies is a lot more exciting and meaningful than a world inhabited by happenstance collections of atoms. I don't have hard scientific proof, but I have enough evidence to be convinced myself.

Just writing to say that spirituality is more than a dichotomy between atheists and devout followers.

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