Jun 21 nuit commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: New Father Wants a Threesome Right Now.
As a woman who has given birth, had threesomes before and after baby and is in a Poly marriage I vote: Back the fuck off. Guess what not only is she most likely still getting up at all hours dealing with a baby but she also probably isn't feel all that sexy. At 6 month I still had baby weight and wasn't feeling like myself. It took almost a year for me to be back to the adventurous woman who was up for 3 ways. I needed time to get use to being a mother and get use to my new body. I also needed my husband to be there for me. A baby changed the dynamics of a relationship and that adjustment period is not the time to make major changes to a relationship.
I am betting her permission was given because he won't shut up about this whole thing and she is just tired of listening to it.
Sep 3, 2015 nuit commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: My Son Just Came Out As Poly.
My husband and I have been poly since we first started dating. He is open with his family in that they are aware but since they live so far away it doesn't really matter. I am not open with my family because i know my mother would flip her shit and I already have to listen to her judgmental crap enough as it is. We moved far away from her too. The coming out aspect is because poly isn't about just sleeping around. Real loving relationships and families can be formed. If we have an additional person in our life that we consider family we don't want to hide them. Last year my husband took our son to visit his family. He took his girlfriend with him. She is one of my dearest friends. My son knows she is our friend but is still young enough to know really be aware of relationships. He was less than a year old at that time. I joined them after a few days as I was away on business and the 4 of us had a lovely vacation. We have talked about having her eventually move in as part of our family unit. To do so would require we be "out" completely. So I don't think the son was trying to give TMI.
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Aug 25, 2015 nuit commented on Ashley Madison Hack: All Fun and Puritanical Games Until Somebody Gets Dead.
I know of at least one person who went through the list trying every email address in her mail box. Due to society not being too kind to people in open marriages my husband and I are not public about the inner workings of our marriage. My professional reputation and my standing in the community would be compromised and my young child subjected to hearing horrible things said about us. Luckily we never had paid accounts and used emails not easily traced. My post was more in line with why I feel that this hack is a terrible thing and that no one on the list deserves a public outing.
Aug 25, 2015 nuit commented on Ashley Madison Hack: All Fun and Puritanical Games Until Somebody Gets Dead.
I recently commented elsewhere that people need to really consider the names in context. Both mine and my husband's emails are on that list. We both joined before we met each other. Nether of us were married but were in relationships. We have been open and honest with each other about the fact we were on there even before this hack happened.

I was attacked for saying that many people whose names are being released may have not truly been looking to cheat or were on there a long time ago before their current marriages and that we shouldn't jump to conclusions. I was told my husband I are both losers for cheating in the first place (which neither of us actually did) and that my marriage is destined to fail and that I am fooling myself if I think my husband is telling the truth about not going on there since we married.

What I left out in the original post is that my husband and I are Poly. We used Ashley Madison to look for partners. We also use OK Cupid which is where we not stick. Ashley Madison tended to be too desperate for our tastes. I know my husband is honest because I trust him and we talk about how we meet people and who we are seeing. We both agree that this hack is disgusting and an invasion of privacy. Am I sorry that people like Dugger are being exposed? Nope. He is a public voice for Homophobia who profits by shilling his brand of morality. But Jim down the street whose wife decided that sex was no longer part of her marriage shouldn't be shamed for being human.
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Nov 24, 2014 nuit commented on SL Letter of the Day: Profile & Courage.
From all I have read I am apparently the only poly female in the world to get no takers while my husband has 'em lined up. but any way...





A poly marriage only works if the marriage is being taken care of. there is no excuse for dating so much you ignore your spouse and leave them alone the majority of the time.
Aug 21, 2014 nuit commented on Savage Love.
Money isn't the only way you can be disowned. My mother doesn't know about my Poly marriage because she would never understand and would disown me and never speak to me again. While she can be a bitch she is still my mother and I hate the idea of losing her. There is no money to speak of but my son never knowing my mother and have no grandmother is enough to keep me from telling her the truth.
Jul 26, 2013 nuit commented on SL Letter of the Day: Chocolate City.
Yeah the "no libido" thing does not apply to all women. My husband thinks I am mad at him or not feeling well if I don't want sex for more than 2 days in a row. Not because he is an asshole but because I am the one who instigates sex that often. So yes some women really do want sex that frequently.
Jan 23, 2013 nuit commented on Savage Love.
My husband and I didn't get to fuck at all on our wedding day. Way too much stress. In the end it didn't matter. We had plenty of time on the honeymoon and ended up bringing back a souvenir of all that fucking. Our first child is due exactly 9 months after our wedding.

Everything you said was perfect.
Jan 2, 2013 nuit commented on Savage Love.
I am in an open relationship with my husband. When he and I were dating my rule was do what you are going to do but don't tell me about.

That did not work. My brain came up with tons of crazy ideas about what he was doing when we were not together. I nearly drove myself crazy.

Now that we are married I instead have a policy where he tells me he is seeing someone but no details until I ask. He is very transparent about what he is doing but only if I ask. That way I control how much info I get but I also can stop my imagination from coming up with crazy ideas.
Mar 21, 2012 nuit joined My Stranger Face