It's not very popular.

Apr 16, 2013 cousine commented on Savage Love Episode 338.
People the age of the hapless children discussed in this show should not be let out of the HOUSE much less be given the keys to cars and allowed to congregate in unsupervised groups with alcohol. Adolescence should be dealt with the way it is on TV shows about the 1950s--you're down in the rumpus room with Cokes in tiny glass bottles listening to wholesome crooners and everyone is wearing six layers of clothes and there are two adults in the house and at least one of them is in the basement with you at all times and the party ends at 8 PM. Or you work the nightshift at the chicken processing plant and are in school all day. Not one unsupervised moment while the word, "teen" is part of your age.

The age of consent should be at LEAST 21 and preferably 25 for EVERYTHING, because let's face it: you're still a crazy idiot at 21, too. Sex, booze, and certainly and above all driving a goddamn car: you have to be 25 years old. Because have you seen that thing on the Colbert Report where they let you into Stephen Colbert's brain for a moment, so that you can see what's happening in there? And it's like a monkey in diapers banging a spoon on a kitten's head and then a nuclear explosion and yackety sax is playing? That is your national merit scholar right there: that's what's happening in its brilliant little head, socially and morally.

If you let the child out of the house to go to the party, it will drink as much as it can hold and then pass out and choke and die or it will take a series of photographs of itself raping another child, sure as you're born. All of them, even the smart ones, should be considered deranged sociopaths with no sense of reality and no instinct for self preservation. Does no one remember being this age? Apparently nobody remembers being this age. They can't behave: their brains are broken. To let them assemble unwatched is to abandon them to unimaginable danger. Also do not buy them those stupid scooters and then think you've done your part to protect them because you told them not to ride triple with no helmets while texting. The kids are just continuing to do what they have always and forever done at this developmental stage when abandoned to themselves. It's the adults watching the cell phone video the children are helpfully providing and then still expecting the kids to police themselves who are the most appallingly inexplicable figures in this morality play. Do people WANT their kids to die? What the hell is wrong with everybody, damn.
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Apr 10, 2013 cousine commented on Savage Love Episode 337.
I like Xando's best. Next best I like the tuck one, zippyzippyzippy's--because that one could incorporate my idea of making a cameltoe enhancer, selling millions of them, and using the proceeds to unseat total wads like Cuccinelli. Nudist parents are no problem if you live in a damn tribe, but nobody lives in a damn tribe, damn it. Congratulations to you if, as a tot, whenever you were approached by a little friend with a shocked query about your naked dad you delivered to the little friend a polemic about health and freedom and fresh air, or whatever the HELL the unfortunate kids of the proudly nude are expected to say to explain their hideous parents, but please recognize that we are not all equipped to do that at seven. Nudist parents need to suit up, in my opinion. At least take a moment to slip into your Cuccinelli so that you can look your political best when your kids' friends come over.
Apr 9, 2013 cousine commented on Savage Love Episode 337.
Okay, so a Cuchini, per justathought, is a pad sold on Amazon that is intended to disguise a camel toe. A Cuccinelli must therefore be a device to emphasize a camel toe. Possibly wearing a Cuccinelli shows that you're up for some sodomy because you have not just a republican-approved vagina but also a vulva (a portion of the anatomy that has no reproductive value whatsoever and is therefore despised by god and should be avoided during republican-approved sexual intercourse)? Maybe somebody could start producing Cuccinellis and selling them on Amazon and then donate all the proceeds to The Society For Sodomy.
Apr 5, 2013 cousine commented on Savage Love Episode 336.
See, I'm just thinking how would it feel if somebody came to your house and got invasive and rapey and turned your bedroom into a superfund site and didn't clean it up and afterward refused to apologize--snottily--and wanted YOU to apologize and you called them out on it and they were all clueless (snottily so) and then out of the blue a week or two later you found out they got schooled? Say along with replacing your sheets they wrote you a long letter or called you crying their head off and explained slowly and carefully and completely what happened so that you knew they really understood their past horribleness--really learned something and really would be a better person henceforth? How would that feel? That would feel really good. You'd think: because of me there's now one less bigot afflicting the planet! And because I stood up for myself and called her on her crap, that person's life is going to be better, now.
Apr 3, 2013 cousine commented on Savage Love Episode 336.
I'm with everybody who doesn't mind the ads: they rule! I'll pay gladly but you have to make it ridiculously easy for me because I can't learn anything. Seriously, I've learned all I can learn. Now is the time for me to forget stuff I learned. Also, I don't have any platforms and I don't know what platforms even are. I just have an ancient desktop. I don't have a phone. I don't have a tablet. I don't have a pod. I don't have a pad. I don't have anything; I don't know anything; I can't do anything. Please don't make me have anything or know anything or do anything other than go to thestrangerdotcom and find the picture of the button that says podcast and move the mouse around until the little picture of the hand is on top of the picture of the button that says podcast and push the button on the mouse, ahhhh there is the familiar music, life just got 100% more liveable and it only took one click! Okay thanks.

(Marmer, can't you and I agree about anything? I think if drunken barfin' flashin' masher girl can understand what she did wrong and express genuine contrition and make amends, she can be forgiven. I don't think she has to understand what was so terrible about what she did immediately--barfed-on girl will understand that it's painful to learn that you were horrible to someone and that you have it in you to be a huge obnoxious bigot. It's only reasonable that it might take more than 24 hours to accept something like that about yourself so that you can apologize genuinely. Drunken barfin' flashin' masher girl is doing pretty much what estranged dad from our earlier, highly diverting (for me...) argument was doing: taking only half-assed responsibility for what he did wrong and expecting to be forgiven anyway. And per you, HE should've been forgiven forever ago. I think there's a chance Drunky can get forgiveness, especially if she gets the barfed-on girl to listen to the podcast and read all the comments so that she knows all Savagedom is on her side.)
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Apr 2, 2013 cousine commented on Savage Love Episode 336.
Also yay advice to 20-yr-old girl. How I wish you had been around when I was 20.
Apr 2, 2013 cousine commented on Savage Love Episode 336.
Three cheers!
Yay longer show!
Yay advice to betrayed husband!
YAY advice to drunk straight girl!
Mar 26, 2013 cousine commented on Savage Love Episode 335.
It's the deceit that gets me. Putting one over on the dentist. It's icky. It's somehow different with the foot fetishist shoe salesman--well, not somehow different: obviously different. The fetish is inherent in the process. Unless you're a paraplegic, you don't need a person to kneel on the floor in front of you and put shoes on your feet and take them off again while you loll in a chair. So if you're up at the mall having your feet serviced when you could be on Zappos, then we can assume you and the pervy salesman share the same proclivities and that that transaction is entirely aboveboard. You DO need someone who has been through ruinously expensive gray-hair-inducing dental school to look at your teeth, and even if you are successfully concealing your real motives, you're still objectifying the dentist, who is in good faith providing his/her hard won expertise. I think it's underhanded. He's probably still paying off his loans, and there you are, writhing around in his chair using him for his novocaine? It's demoralizing. Don't do it.

Besides the ethics, there's the aesthetics, and those are off, too. The machinations you're going through destroy what's appealing about the scene in the first place. The dentist, with his deep concern for your oral hygiene and his beautiful black eyes, taking your head in his warm, blue-nitrile-covered hands, issuing simple commands, calling your teeth by their individual little numbers and addressing each one personally, wielding his series of shiny sharps, asking you intimate questions about your flossing routine. That's more than enough! Don't you know how lucky you are that your dentists have all been hot? Do you know what most of us suffer through twice a year, dentist-wise? Just appreciate what you have and don't get all baroque with a secret agent in the lobby and a remote controlled device and wreck a good thing.
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Mar 20, 2013 cousine commented on Savage Love Episode 334.
Not only am I glad the cannibal cop is in the slammer, I hope certain content creators are watching with interest and getting well and truly chilled. I hope they are frightened into self-censorship so that they can cut out their intolerable porny bullshit that they should have to get XXX ratings for but that they somehow get away with slathering all over the mainstream.

I refer of course to Lars von Trier and... well. I don't know the name of it. What's the horrific true crime show I'm thinking of? I *think* it comes on either Saturday or Sunday early afternoon, but I could be wrong about when I witnessed the vile thing. It could be _48 Hrs_, but I don't think so because I think they do "recreations." I don't know because I hate them all, but anyway, it's some absolutely revolting true crime forensics show where they did these loooong loving camera pans over this poor murdered girl's naked bruise-covered body.

The reasoning is always, "O, this will generate in the crime-fearing viewer even more sympathy for the murdered girl and it is therefore perfectly moral to show these salacious shots of the naked dead." Nope. Nope. fuckinNOPE. That is not why you are doing that, revolting forensics show. That is not why you are doing that, LARS VON TRIER. You know very well what you're generating and in whom you're generating it. At least the Dane is faking the sliced-to-ribbons dead women. The forensics show used the actual pictures of the actual dead woman. They must have told her family, "This will generate in the viewer sympathy for your naked rapemurdered daughter who is looking down from heaven thanking you for allowing the nation to see at one and the same time the bikini tan lines she acquired at some point before her rape and murder and the stab wounds and rope burns she acquired during the process!"

And the bereaved family allowed it. I hope to god they come back to their senses and sue the show out of existence. One thing's for sure, if at any point the cannibal cop lost his internet connection, he could tivo that show and have plenty of wank fodder. And I bet he owns every movie Lars von Trier ever made. Anyone who sits there with his/her eyes open willingly looking at that crap is a violence-loving fieeeeeend in my opinion--in their heart of hearts not that they would ever act on it and not that they should be prevented from watching it. Just as anyone who gets a massive kick from watching Cops secretly harbors class and race hatred in his/her heart--not that they would ever act on it and not that they should be prevented from watching it. Obviously I would defend to the death the right of the watching public to rubberneck to their hearts' content at any legal vileness there is, and I would defend to the death Lars von Trier's right to produce his abysmal foulness, though I do hope there is a circle in hell just for him and that hell exists so that he can go directly to that circle.

But whoever makes that show that showed the honest to god raped dead girl's honest to god body to me on Sunday early afternoon when I was lolling around and couldn't lay my hands on the remote control fast enough to get it away get it away get it away and therefore witnessed against my will what I KNOW THAT GIRL WOULD NOT HAVE WANTED SEEN... Whoever makes that show I do not defend. That fucker needs to be put UNDER the jail.
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Mar 19, 2013 cousine commented on Savage Love Episode 333.
(It would be so awesome if they could BOTH go to therapy. Maybe he could find one who isn't a moron and start going and then see whether the mother and daughter could join him after a few sessions? That's what the shrinks always want you to do--the old "put the mask on yourself before you assist your child" rule.)
 
 

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