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You can read my thoughts on maintaining monogamy with small children and libido imbalance in… more »

Mar 19, 2013 Sexlessfather commented on Savage Love Episode 334.
Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This melted taint you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Oh...melted taint.
Melted taint.
Feb 5, 2013 Sexlessfather commented on Savage Love Episode 328.
I want to throw out there that I'm a straight guy, I love musical theater, and I like a fair amount of heavy metal. And I am not depressed. One answer, therefore, may be for straight guys to go ahead and embrace their inner Ethyl Merman loving queen while still loving women.
Aug 1, 2012 Sexlessfather commented on Savage Love Episode 301.
Hi. I want to add two cents about the call from the man in the sexless marriage, which is that for me a huge part of what is lacking in my marriage is actually not just sex. My wife has had a really hard time giving me her intimate attention generally, not just sexually. Although the sex hasn't returned to our marriage, much of our intimacy has, and the key to making this happen was communication. Lots of communication. The hard kind, with crying and yelling and more crying.

Also, in straight married couples like mine, sex tends to be defined as always penis/vagina intercourse, but that actually other sex acts can be just as intimate. I'd prefer an enthusiastically given handjob to grudgingly accepted intercourse any day of the week.

I blog about sexless marriage at and the comment threads there have brought up some very interesting discussion.
Jun 27, 2012 Sexlessfather commented on Calling All the Basic Bitches.
I think I've watched this a dozen times now. It's so... I don't know, compelling? Mesmerizing? Whatever it is, I just keep watching it. That kid is amazing.
Jun 13, 2012 Sexlessfather commented on Preserving Traditional Marriages.
@afinch The short version is that I've been giving myself a sexorcism by listening to old lovecast episodes, pushing the sex shame out of my mind and giving myself permission to talk to my wife openly and honestly about sex - as well as forcing the issue a little by keeping it on my mind all the time.

For the long version, read my blog
Jun 12, 2012 Sexlessfather updated the link to his or her website.
Jun 12, 2012 Sexlessfather updated his or her bio.
Jun 12, 2012 Sexlessfather commented on Preserving Traditional Marriages.
@lilliable I'm far less sexless now than when I came up with the handle, and much of the credit is due to the illustrious Mr. Savage. For what it's worth.
May 31, 2012 Sexlessfather joined My Stranger Face
May 31, 2012 Sexlessfather commented on Savage Love Episode 281.
Sorry about the late comment: I'm catching up on old episodes. As far as the caller whose wife is without interest in Sex, I don't share Dan's skepticism about why this is coming up now. I've been married to a woman with no libido for eight years. We are just now seriously facing this issue and admitting that it is a serious problem for our marriage. We have small children (like the caller) and we have been in shared denial for a long time. Finally, this last year, something snapped for me and I realized that I can't live like this forever. I've been blogging about our experiences, at - and finding that what we're going through is actually extremely common. I wish the caller and his wife the best of luck finding joyful sex in their marriage.