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Feb 27, 2013 pavloviandoggy commented on SL Letter of the Day: Where Do I Meet Young Kinksters?.
There are probably a lot of people who may disagree with me, but it might be worth making an okcupid profile. A LOT of the match questions on sexuality have a BDSM bent. Besides asking people straight out whether they're kinky, they ask people particulars about what might might turn them on. Some of the questions might also help the LW find people who have kinky tendencies but might not be part of that community yet. For example, one of the questions is, "Would it excite you to get slapped across the face?"
Feb 9, 2013 pavloviandoggy commented on SL Letter of the Day: Today's DTMFA.
@33, to his credit, the situation got better. These problems were in the first two months of the relationship. The texts about me stopped once he dropped hints that he really liked me and expected me to be around for a while. Then she began monopolizing his time in subtle ways. For example, if they were sitting far away from each other, she would send him so many long, involved text messages that it would be hard to have a conversation with him. Once we had dated longer, and I showed that I had no problem with him spending time hanging out with his ex-girlfriend, he realized that I wasn't the jealous type. I also made it clearer that it was the way they interacted that bothered me, not the fact that I didn’t trust him. After we had been dating for a while, the girl realized that I wasn’t going anywhere and stopped hanging out with him as much. We’re still together actually.
Feb 9, 2013 pavloviandoggy commented on SL Letter of the Day: Today's DTMFA.
The phrase “girls I have been intimate with” is very telling. A lot of people have assumed that this just means exes. There’s a big difference between being friends with an ex-girlfriend who you have developed a friendship but has moved on and being friends with a casual acquaintance that you hooked up with. I agree with 24; from the girlfriend’s perspective, it sounds like the boy is collecting a harem of girls that he can hook up with once they’ve broken up. And if the boyfriend was perfectly honest with himself, he probably would feel a little uncomfortable if the situations were reversed. Would he be cool with it if most of his girlfriend’s friends were guys that had gotten into her pants (and may still get into her pants?)
I’m also curious as to how the female friends are treating the girlfriend. Yeah, he may have only platonic feelings for these girls now…but what if the girls had feelings for him? What if these girls hoped that they’d go from casual sex partner to real girlfriend, and now they resent that that possibility has gone away? If that’s the case, then yes, the girlfriend is justified in feeling uncomfortable with these exes. I recently had this experience. It made doing anything with my boyfriend’s friends miserable. The girl he’d hookup had this nasty habit of sending unflattering text messages about me WHILE I WAS SITTING ACROSS FROM HER AT THE SAME TABLE and monopolizing his attention whenever I was in the room. Whenever I brought up that this girl made me uncomfortable, he insinuated that I was biased “because of his past history with her.”
Dec 15, 2012 pavloviandoggy commented on SL Letter of the Day: Fighting Ugly.
@ 38, you're assuming that conventionally unattractive men don't also feel entitled to a hot woman. Some of the most shallow men I've met are have been very unattractive.
Nov 30, 2012 pavloviandoggy commented on SL Letter of the Day: Deep Thought.
THANK YOU Dan for telling him to wait to disclose. I went through a two year period where most of the guys who were interested in me brought up their "kinks" way too soon. Most of the time it was like FFF-- a kink that was kind of out there but relatively easy to accommodate. However, the fact that they brought it up so early was a big red flag. It meant they either had poor judgment, or sex was their main priority. And if a guy tells me about his vampire fetish before he tells me his hometown, I will always think about him as that guy who wants me to dress up like a True Blood character.
Oct 12, 2012 pavloviandoggy commented on Savage Love.
This is one of those questions where I wish I'd seen the boyfriend's side of the story. My first impression was the guy was a chauvinist pig. But then I thought of some of my progressive guy friends, and how they believe it's a woman's right to choose even though they don't think of abortion as an option. As in, "It's your body and it's ultimately your decision, but I'd at least want to discuss our other options."

I believe that a fetus is a life. Does that make me pro-life? No. One of the considerations women use in determining whether or not to have an abortion is what the quality of life of the child would be like. There have been stages of my life where I have taken types and quantities of substances that would have affected the health of the child. There have been times when the lack of social support would have impacted the child.So yes, in that way, I am considering the rights of the fetus to a healthy, loving, supportive home.
Oct 4, 2012 pavloviandoggy commented on Savage Love.
It should be noted that a lot of guys can convince girls that they aren't assholes. And since a lot of college girls have very little experience with guys, they'll be easier to fool. The asker has to remember that some assholes aren't going to act like an asshole around a girl they like.
Jun 13, 2012 pavloviandoggy commented on Savage Love.
A breakup text out of the blue seems callous. However, I've had situations where guys have asked me rather directly when or if they would be seeing me again via text. Calling them to say no would have been weird. And waiting for a face-to-face meeting would have felt like I was leading them on. I wonder if SMS's breakup occurred in the context of a text conversation.
Jun 5, 2012 pavloviandoggy joined My Stranger Face
Jun 5, 2012 pavloviandoggy commented on Savage Love.
I'm surprised Dan didn't mention this, but wouldn't public libraries have a high number of kids in the bathrooms? Not that people in the bathrooms were necessarily fapping it because they liked kids. I could just see how people would be more concerned with a masturbator hanging around in a library bathroom than an office building.