geminilee
report this user
Aug 19, 2015 geminilee commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Boyfriend Is Out—Should I Get Out?.
DonnyKlicious, while someone may indeed find out they enjoy kids after being talked into them, that is one heck of a risk to take. They aren't a puppy you can take back if it doesn't work out. I would not encourage anyone to have kids unless they are certain it is for them, and even then they can turn out to be wrong. Too many kids already have parents who don't want them, and trust me the kid knows.

As far as this relationship goes, I am not seeing a lot to recommend it. I mean, it is possible that there is a lot of good left unsaid, but the bads include different life goals, different basic relationship structure preferences (monogamish or fully monogamous), and him not caring about an important life goal. Add to that a possible insecurity on his part (he may not be insecure, he may just not place high value on her desires), and I see a negative balance. The sunk costs fallacy works no better for relationships than for any other investment; ignore what you have put in once that is gone and can't come back. Just look at things from now forward. And from now onward OTF, if you are reading this, do you see yourself getting a return on your emotional investment? That is something you have to ask yourself, even before you start negotiations with him. Then you will know how to proceed. Maybe you should try negotiating, or maybe you should take the opportunity afforded you by the distance between you and just start over.
More...
Jul 14, 2015 geminilee commented on The Science Today: What A See-Through Brain Looks Like.
I will only believe it is garbage when we remove it all from a fetus' DNA, and they remain perfectly viable and are identical to those who grow up with the full complement of DNA.
Pretty sure that wouldn't work, though. Some stretches that don't code for proteins are regulators, triggering when to build and when to stop. Some of the others require certain triggers to switch on. If any DNA is "wasted" I think it is a very very small percentage.
Jul 14, 2015 geminilee commented on Unsung Heroes of the Fight for Gay Marriage, Vol. 1.
Baby blue #3
There were comments made about women in pants, but they had little to do with the trans community, who were more in hiding back then.

My grandmother and a friend got kicked out of the county fair for wearing their brothers' pants to the fair. It was announced over the loudspeakers that any women not in dresses had to leave. This was mysogyny, plain and simple. They weren't "appropriating trans culture" and thus cause offense. They were sluts, looking for attention by showing off the fact that the have legs, and that was just totally immoral, lewd, and lascivious. Men would not be able to control themselves over such a provocative style, that made it clear that there were legs there! How could any man resist legs in heavy denim, when these slutty slutty girls were practically naked. They may even that been practically nekkid*. That was slut shaming at its best; these two farm girls (good girls as far as the slut label goes). Possibly it was even edging toward victim blaiming, as they were told later that some men can't control their lusts, and they would be targeted for rape. (Sounds a bit familiar, actually) I say girls in dresses or skirts are probably easier victims since it is my simpler to lift a skirt than to remove jeans. They wanted to wear things that were comfortable and practical to do things in.

They were made to do the walk of shame through the whole park, past all the people who had just heard about the issue over the loudspeakers.

I think this experience led directly to the only time I ever heard my grandmother yell at my mother. I had long, rainbow colored hair. My mom would home about it, call me her little rainbow brite. My g-ma lost her perpetual smile, turned very red, and yelled "She has the right to wear her hair any color she likes!!" Mom backed down in a hurry.

*Naked is when you are not wearing clothes. Nekkid is when you aren't wearing clothes and you are up to something.
More...
Oct 13, 2013 geminilee commented on I, Anonymous.
Ok, ballard. Then explain why I am seriously underweight despite eating 2 orders of cheese fries everyday, never exercising, and living on coca-cola? If it is simply a matter of calories and exercise, I should be roughly spherical.

But you can pretend that they are just weak willed and constantly stuffing their face. I am sure that that makes you feel like less of the horrible person you are for shaming people about things that are none of your damn business. Besides, everyone needs someone to feel superior to, and I am sure you can't feel superior about anything else, certainly not your brains or your personality. Definitely not your value as a decent human being.
Oct 13, 2013 geminilee commented on I, Anonymous.
To the fat shamers: being a healthy weight is not directly correlated with diet and excercise. I am regular to very underweight, never exercise, and eat smothered cheese fries like they are going out of style. I have a friend who works out 3 times a week, walks every day, and would probably end up gaining several pounds a week eating half of what I do. Metabolism, body frame, genetics, and occasionally illnesses can make it very hard for someone to lose weight. Not that I believe I can convince you; honestly I think you shame in part to pat yourself on the back and give yourself credit for what was essentially genetic good luck, and in part because you are small-minded, nasty individuals who pick on the overweight because they are one of the last groups it is "ok" to target.

@6 & co.: So what if she has a mental disorder. That does not give her the right to attack and insult other people. It also doesn't mean that her victim needs to take it upon herself to help her. Even the mentally ill can be jerks, and it would be unfair ti them to pretend that the words that come out of their mouths do not affect otbers emotionally. Would it be nice if IA could get her some help? Yes. But that is something over and above IAs social duty to this woman. It would be praiseworthy if she did, but it is not fault-worthy if she does not. I don't even think that IA should, really; IA needs to worry about her own mental health first and foremost. She does not need to hang around poison, even if it is not poison's fault that it is poisonous.
More...
Jun 12, 2013 geminilee commented on Shit Men Say to Men Who Say Shit to Women on the Street.
I know I shouldn't feed the trolls, but it is not a compliment.

An example I got today: Hey, baby, you look hot. Let me hit it.

That is not a compliment. Asking me for sex when I walk past is not complimentary. And it has nothing to do with how attractive the guy is. I thought he was really cute, right up until that point. The fact is, there are times and places to hit on other people, even semi-aggressively. While I am trying to get home from the grocery store is not one of those places. And that comment is FAR from the worst of it. Some comments just aren't appropriate, ever.
May 24, 2013 geminilee commented on Don't Be Such a Mermaid!.
There are so mermaids. They live in a spring near where I grew up. http://www.weekiwachee.com/
Apr 17, 2013 geminilee commented on The Science Today: What A See-Through Brain Looks Like.
@3&6
True. The problem arises from a misconception. The scientist who coined the phrase "junk DNA" didn't mean junk as in trash, but junk as in the junk drawer in your kitchen. Perhaps "miscellaneous" would have been a better phrasing. It isn't as universally handy and easy to understand as the stuff that codes for proteins, and some of it may truly be junk (that is, it is irrelevant now because what it modifies has evolved away (sorry, can't think of a better way to phrase that, though admittedly "evolved away" is shite) and now it is useless.) Most of it, however, is used. It is like the myth that we only use 10% of our brains. Wrong, but somehow appealing enough as a concept to hang around.
Apr 17, 2013 geminilee commented on SL Letter of the Day: Big Time.
@41 Not being attracted to fat people is not the same thing as fat phobia. It really isn't. Fat phobia would be using insulting language, associating fat with unrelated negative charactaristics, treating fat people as.lesser, and so.on. I will not pretend there is not a lot of it in society, with our worship of youth and thinness. Simply not being attracted, or being actively turned off by fat, is not fat phobic.

To use an unrelated, less.socially charged example: I am turned off by body hair. Does my preference for smooth skin make me hirstute phobic? Of.course not. The same goes if my preference for (or against) was hair color, height, or any other trait. People are allowed to be turned on by what gets them going without criticism (as long as their partners are.consenting, and are capable of giving consent). It is how you treat others that makes for a phobia, not who you want to fuck.
Apr 16, 2013 geminilee commented on SL Letter of the Day: Big Time.
I don't mean that it is totally irrelevant, just the phrase "It's not as if...". Preface it with "The same thing can be seen", or similar, and it is a useful comment. I still don't think it would work as a persuasive argument for the.LW, although it may be a good side note for him as well. The reason "It's not as if" is a red herring is that Dan never claimed gays or any other group had some sort of special defense against internalized hatred. I have seen him call homosexuals out on it before (usually males, probably because there is more pressure to internalize societal condemnation).