Oct 7, 2013
commented on SLLOTD: Maladjusted Shits
@95 “Most people consider sex part of the relationship, but you guys are painting someone who only cares about sex.”
I don’t think it’s that we are talking about someone who only cares about sex, but that for most sexual people having a partner with desire for sex on a similar level as their own is integral to the relationship. I can’t speak for anyone but myself but an enthusiastic sex life with my romantic partner is an extremely important part of our relationship. I couldn’t be in a LTR with someone who did not desire sex, having a partner who is as enthusiastic about wanting to bang me as I am about them is important. Knowing this, I would appreciate it if after a few dates with someone if things were heading toward a romantic place that they let me know that they are asexual. That would factor heavily into my decision to continue dating them, not because asexuals are “creepy” or “rigid”, but because pursuing a relationship with someone whom I know I have an inherent incompatibility with is not a good idea.
@98 “The issue we're discussing is when disclosure should take place and whether the asexual is always the one who has to go first.”
For the question of whether asexuals have to go first, unfortunately I think this boils down to numbers. There are so many more sexuals in society than there are asexuals that, at least until we see a significant cultural shift, two people going on dates each will probably assume the other is a sexual. So if someone knows that they are not sexual they should disclose this before things get too emotionally entangled. If they don’t, I do not think that that is immoral or anything that extreme, just discourteous.
Jun 13, 2012
joined My Stranger Face