A place for Canadians.

AlyinSebby
Sometimes Belltown, Sometimes NorCal
report this user

Bio

See the world. Read! Laugh and be nice dahhmmmnnniitt!

Oct 1 AlyinSebby commented on Savage Love.
#34

The link didn't quite send me to the exact article.

I searched on their site, as I waited for the results, I thought "..wonder how many snake in penis/bladder stories there might be!?"

I accidentally typed snack in penis! No Result.

Eesh, this reminds me of when then Pres. Regan had to have the medical version of this and Al Franken did a hysterical Info. bit about it on SNL...

Yay!

https://screen.yahoo.com/al-franken-pros…

Any time peeps talk about penises I do this :D
Dec 18, 2013 AlyinSebby commented on Savage Love.
Don't worry anymore about THE BOLD nocutename, it's nice when someone shakes things up :)

Great posts (and feedback from rosysunbeam...

and the same applies - do SOMETHING shake things UP, but he needs to hear "No decision is NOT a decision. You have x time to make a decision. And I have a duty to me to move on if you can't/won't make a decision."

For your reluctant guy, as so many have said, what ever grown up is most of us have arrived -from left field or Toledo or anywhere - there whether that is really what we thought we wanted or not.

Upon realizing this, we have decided it doesn't suck and we're glad we got here with the right person.
May 15, 2013 AlyinSebby commented on I, Anonymous.
Totally Team Turtlemilk!
May 8, 2013 AlyinSebby commented on Savage Love.
TSTQ it's admirable you want to try to work on the marriage.

My depression looked exactly like yer hub, except if my hub asked me to do some laundry, or empty the dishwasher, etc. I did it.

I knew I was a mess and while I wasn't contributing $ I needed to give anything everything else I could muster as he was carrying the bigger burden.

Even while I was an f-ed up mess I still had a responsibility to my partner not to make him do it all.

So I would agree with many people that if he refuses to do anything besides video games and porn, you need to take steps to separate.

The only person you can change or fix here is you.

I've heard people relate experiences like yours and say "It was a starter marriage, I should have known better, now I do." If you feel peer or family pressure not to fail at this-LET THAT SH*T GO!

Do you really think you need to stay in this horrible life crushing hole just so they don't judge you? That's where your work on you begins.

In CA. you would start proceedings by filing for legal separation (this addresses many of the concerns others have cited i.e. moving out/lease ramifications, etc.)

Start calling the bank, your credit cards, etc. and taking his name off things, COVER YOUR FINANCIAL BEHIND FIRST.

My one caution about getting him professional help, getting him to use it and possibly changing; Is that I have had a recurring depression 10 years after recovery, his might come back and you would be here all over again.

You are young, you made a mistake, you have the rest of your life to learn and figure this stuff out, leaving is not the worst possible thing that would happen. You getting derailed from the life you want and being tied to him 'til death do you part' would be the worst.
More...
Mar 13, 2013 AlyinSebby commented on I, Anonymous.
Oops, I meant "Theodore for the WIN!"
Mar 13, 2013 AlyinSebby commented on I, Anonymous.
lol Theodore, that's a great interloper spotting device!
Feb 28, 2013 AlyinSebby commented on I, Anonymous.
LOL #22

It took us 22 posts to get to the coke and malt liquor!?

Where's Ziffereli? ;)
Jan 30, 2013 AlyinSebby commented on Savage Love.
@79

My bad, I think maybe yer scenario was too similar to what a lot of my circle is going through right now.

:/ and I was too hasty in my reaction to read the post more than once to see yer gender neutral.

Good points, like yer argument.
Jan 30, 2013 AlyinSebby commented on Savage Love.
@ 68,

Yep and this too!
Jan 30, 2013 AlyinSebby commented on Savage Love.
@ 52,

Most every marriage ends up where you are.

Parenting is not sexy, often not fun or as fulfilling as others things we crave.

Your post is almost a form letter example of why people need to go to therapy/couples counseling.

If all that is your internal dialog and you have never bounced it off a friend or trusted adviser, you are disassembling your marriage and never giving your wife the possibility of helping create change in your lives.

You took part in bringing those kids into the world. As a parent you are responsible for making choices with their best interests first.

Not saying people shouldn't break up ever. But this is boilerplate Marriage & Kids 101.
 
 

Want great deals and a chance to win tickets to the best shows in Seattle? Join The Stranger Presents email list!


All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC
1535 11th Ave (Third Floor), Seattle, WA 98122
Contact | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy