commented on Savage Love
LW3 I must chime in with the majority: there's no way four times is an accident. He's getting off on this and it's sick. Unless you secretly enjoy the whole oops-I-did-it-again! cycle (which I wouldn't judge you for, other than that you'd be wasting everyone's time with this letter) don't condone it. People who behave like this are malicious and need, at minimum, to lose access to the entire bathing-suit area.
LW1 I disagree with Dan -- 30 guys and no relationship isn't coincidence. Also, don't fuck that depressed guy. You already have misgivings about him, and that's a lousy place to start a relationship, which you would be doing. But how about asking him why you don't get anywhere with other guys? He might know, and if he's a true friend he might tell you. Or if you date a guy who seems friendly but it's not quite working out (I'm sure you know the signs by now) maybe try for an exit interview? It's not usually a good idea to ask someone why they're dumping you -- I don't think one should ever do this in a relationship which has actually happened -- but in your case you wouldn't have much to lose, and it might be something obvious.
Nov 16, 2015
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: An Easy Call for a Former Call Girl
I'm with the bandwagon: a good guy who felt this way would either learn to live with this (because things he thought weren't OK are now OK when they're part of _you_, whom he loves) or else dump you. This guy wants to stay around and hold his fictitious moral advantage like a hammer over you forever. Don't allow it.
Nov 11, 2015
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Self-Fulfilling Assholery
What @20 suggests is not nearly as good as making up your own mind. Laying traps for someone (who you supposedly love) until you can feel like you're not a bad person for breaking up with them is gaslighting. Your priority should be to find out what you need to know, and if it doesn't work get out. Not to salve your ego at the expense of the other person's mental health.
Oct 18, 2015
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Lose the Moral Panic
I'm with @23 -- you're not OK having PIV intercourse with this person and you'd like that to be someone else's problem. But it's yours, so stop. Wait to have sex until you can do it with someone whose decisions for her own body and life -- to abort or bear, adopt or raise -- you can honor and support. Your feelings now are telling us, and should tell you, that you aren't ready to honor this girlfriend's decisons.
Either find a girlfriend who thinks like your parents, or change your own thinking.
Oct 14, 2015
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Column A and Column B
Oh hun get out. You don't really like him, and not taking care of teeth is a breakup-level offense.
I don't know about asthma, but vaping sure does reek -- all those people are kidding themselves that it doesn't smell. No one who doesn't use is fooled.
Oct 13, 2015
commented on Bike Activists! I Have Seen the Future! You're Going To Hate It!
Bring it. City streets aren't a velodrome, they're a complicated place that needs a lot of situational awareness and buffer space, and people who are riding faster than being able to stop in 10 feet don't look safe to me. I ride a lot in my city (Boston), slowly, and I get where I'm going without much hassle.
I agree it will piss off the wingnuts in their spandex, but whatever -- inner-city streets aren't the place to get your cardio workout! You want to put the hammer down, go out to the country or hit the gym.
Apr 29, 2015
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Sail Away
If you're foolin' around with 30+ dudes, you will find that they aren't hard all of the time. They're not 20. Just being in bed with a naked woman isn't necessarily going to give them a stiffy: you have to touch their dick. Being nice about that is a life skill, and the older we all get the more necessary it is.