commented on Savage Love Episode 337
As Cuccinelli is so fond of heterosexual people, perhaps we should remind him of the less savoury sex acts they are capable of. I think that Cuccinelli should be slang for a sex act involving a ping pong ball, a woman with exceedingly strong pelvic muscles and a dude catching it with his mouth.
commented on Savage Love Episode 335
Oh god, listened to the comment about breast feeding. What is wrong with people? Unless the teenage boy has a fetish about breast feeding then it is really unlikely to turn him on. It usually looks like an baby animal feeding off a teet. A lot of guys avert their eyes because the whole process is far away from erotic. I swear some people need assess their attitudes towards breasts- their original purpose is to feed infants not turn on crowds of wanking teenage boys.
Finally, does it not occur to the caller that there are many more instances in which guys fantasied about random women they saw on the street???
commented on Savage Love Episode 322
Hey Spreadsheet Guy,
Your conundrum kind of made me chuckle as I am doing a PhD and I have met many blokes who would probably use a spreadsheet for dating. Actually, I have a female friend who puts all her sex partners on a spread sheet and rates them. However, I do sympathise with your issue and I do not actually think that the spreadsheet in itself which is the problem.
I think that you should perhaps look at the reasons why you make a spreadsheet of all your partners. Objectively, spreadsheets are meaningless when taken out of context. Nevertheless, I believe that you are using spreadsheets as a distancing device. You set these rigid standards for your partners perhaps because you are worried that you will not measure up to their expectations and they would reject you. Hence, through using the spreadsheet you find a convenient excuse to reject them before they are close enough to hurt your feelings. The spreadsheet is not the problem- your inherent fear of rejection is.
Dec 20, 2012
commented on Savage Love Episode 320
Does anyone else have a problem with Dan Savage and the experts answer to the pedophilia question? My first issue was that they did not address the fact that the caller had experienced sexual abuse at a young age and seemed to be battling with depression from the incident. He said that he was disgusted by himself for letting the abuse happen. Someone in that state should be directed to a psychiatrist.
Secondly, they assumed that he was only attracted to children although he said that he had been attracted to adult women. Surely, that issue could have been discussed. Why should the poor man relegate himself to hormonal therapy, which could possibly have a determinental effect on his long term health, if he could with therapy work on his already existent attraction to adult women?
Thirdly, I really resent the way that pedophiles are represented in the discussion as cuddly friendly human beings. Yes, some may battle with their feelings and learn to suppress their urges. I don't think that those who look at kiddy porn but not do anything are 'gold standard' pedophiles as they contribute to an exploitative market. However, please note that there are some pedophiles who are unashamed of their behaviour and try to explain it away, e.g. 'female children in third world countries are married at the age of six'.
Finally, please be careful about the law of unintended consequences. Whilst, it may sound nice that there is a site where people who suspect that they have pedophilic urges can discuss their issues. There is a possibility that some unscrupulous individuals may use this site to find others with their tastes. Please look at the case of Vanessa George, Colin Blanchard and Angela Allen in Plymouth UK- they met after Colin Blanchard put up a facebook profile detailing his experience of sexual abuse as a child.
Nov 8, 2012
commented on Savage Love Episode 315
Hi Bisexual Bar Mitvah Guest, I wonder if it is actually your mother feeling guilty for not letting you come out earlier to the rest of the family. I am Asian, so trust me I understand what having a pushy mother is like. Anyway, I was also curious if she actually liked your girlfriend and wanted to celebrate that you are happy with her. Perhaps, she thought that there was a possibility that you guys would make a partnership and become part of the family. However, perhaps it is better to do that in a less formal setting.
As for the woman with the 'ugly boyfriend'. How utterly shallow. One thing that I have appreciated about my friends is that they have pulled me back from the brink of shallowness. They are often happy if another friend is with someone who adores them and treats them well. I have learnt to be kinder and more considerate from their actions and now regret moments when I have been shallow. Perhaps, she needs to change her attitude.
Finally, the period story. I have had heavy periods in the past and it is not cute or fun when you bleed all over someone's bed. It is also a hassle when you have to clean it. I am not ashamed of my periods but I understand why someone would not want to have sex with me at that time. One thing that Dan needs to take into account that female to male transmission of HIV heightens when the female partner is on her period. So as horny as I get during that time, I take consideration of my partner's safety although I get regularly tested for STDs etc.
Aug 24, 2012
commented on Savage Love Episode 304
#7 I think that the girl you dated was quite cruel towards you and I can understand why you were hurt. I doubt it make much of a difference whether she has mental health problems or not. Yes, they probably compelled her to seek solace from multiple sources but I know people with worse mental health problems than her who do not choose to do this.
Anyway, in answer to your bro code question- no I do not see what advantage you are doing for this bloke anyway by telling him. He will probably completely resent you for it as he had already guessed at it. Have you ever thought of his motives for being in this relationship with this girl and acting as her 'rock'? I doubt it or if you did you had a rosey picture of him being a sweet clueless guy who was taken in by her. He may like the idea of being her saviour. He might even be abusive and enjoy her being totally overly dependent on her. Either way, you don't know what his reaction would be. So in that case, the thing is leave well alone. If you are angry then you have a right to tell her you are upset. Otherwise, it is probably best to cut off all contact with her as she sounds like she has too many issues for any one else apart for her family to deal with.
Aug 15, 2012
commented on Savage Love Episode 303
Agree with the female caller that vaginas should be respected. I think that she is being too sensitive about Dan's comments about vaginas. I would not expect a lesbian to say that she thought dicks were attractive. What annoyed me the most was her comment about the word twat. What is so wrong with having slang for vagina? I don't particularly find the word cunt offensive. I personally adore the word twat as a British person and think that it should used in other countries. Thanks, Dan for propagating the use of English slang!