Aug 13, 2012
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Even Less Kinky Than Plain Vanilla
Dan's answer was spot on. I was married to someone exactly like this for decades. He shamed me about all of my desires. I tried talking. I tried books. According to my ex, I was much more sexual than him; therefore, I went without because he wasn't interested. He told me he wasn't comfortable knowing what I liked and so I never asked for anything other than frequency and desire. All of my advances were deflected until I stopped asking.
It turns out he knew exactly what turned him on. Other women. Other men. Anonymous hookups. Looking through the neighbor's windows. He potentially exposed me to everything as he refused to ever wear condoms and birth control was up to me. He shamed me into wasting my life on him, believing it was my problem.