commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Ex-Mormon Wants to Come Out as Poly to Mormon Family
As a longtime poly person and a longtime reader of poly publications, I can't help but think that the LW isn't really speaking his own convictions. A lot of his language sounds very similar to the mantras circulated in poly forums and blogs. Being poly for less than 12 months could be the reason...
Anyway, I was Christian before I was a polyamorous divorcee and it took me half of a decade to finally come out to my family, and they're not even judgmental. I'd tell him to just cool his man-jets for a while, live his polyamorous lifestyle for a while, and when he's ready to make serious life choices like, for example, buying a bigger house so the SOs can move in, or spending Christmas with the whole triad/quad/quint etc together, then he can "come out" to his family. In all likelihood he's in the midst of shiny NRE and doesn't have his full wits about him.
Dec 9, 2014
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Short and Long
I think that's pretty lame advice. Jane said they weren't serious, which could very well mean she explained to John that she doesn't do monogamy, which she obviously doesn't. It's not her fault or the poster's fault that John had to go and get all romantic for her. Why should either of them be considered betrayers? Way to go all mono-normative on us, Dan.
Aug 6, 2014
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Truly, Madly, Fairly
That is awful advice! I swear, Dan, the more I read your column the more I think you're not actually capable of love.
...ok, that's a little too strong. But come on! Your advice boils down to "bribe and manipulate your wife to get what you want" What the hell kind of relationship is that??
Jun 29, 2014
commented on Today's Republican Sex Creep Does Not Disappoint
Shame on you, Dan! Republican or not, you are an advocate for safe, healthy, guilt-free sexual expression. How shameful of you that you would promote such an article ridiculing a sexual expression just because the fetish-er is a republican.
May 8, 2014
commented on Savage Love
@WRO -- Don't listen to Dan, or any other human who tells you that you should be happy that you're getting any orgasms at all. That's bullshit. It's your body and you can make it cum however you want it to. Humans are capable of orgasming with zero physical stimulation (wet dreams as evidence), which means if you wanna come doggy style with no hands, you totally can.
Check out a book called the O-Loop. It is a life changer.
Nov 6, 2013
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Like, Say, DTMFA
I think you're writing to the wrong advice columnist here. Dan is not a poly expert, and from what I understand from his advice, he's not even poly-positive. You're experiencing problems that are very common in poly relationships where a couple attempts to date a third -- the third ends up as a second quality human and free babysitting. You should get some input from Mama Java at www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com
. She has a LOT more experience with this sort of stuff AND she is very poly-friendly.
Sep 5, 2013
commented on SL Letter of the Day: The Lost Boy
well aren't we a bunch of Christian-hating bigots in this ring!
The kid (Matt) isn't having narcissistic delusions. He's believing in what he was taught to believe and it's a miserable place to be. See, God tests everyone, not just Matt, so everyone has to fight their own personal battle, at least this is what the scriptures say.
I think it's shameful of Dan and of the lot of you readers to paint him as evil because he has Christian beliefs that are conflicting with what his heart is telling him is right. I think the lot of you should try and have a little compassion for a pair of young kids stuck in a very sad situation.
Jul 29, 2013
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Chocolate City
Dan, I'm pretty disappointed with this one:
"Women have naturally lower sex drives, Sewell writes. It's a hormonal thing. Testosterone makes humans horny, men have way more than women, so men are hornier..."
Sewell is far from definitive on this point. In fact, there's an abundance of evidence that suggests that she's dead wrong. I can't believe you swallowed it and regurgitated it without doing a source check.