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Apr 16 bookaday commented on Savage Love.
I've never understood people like LW1 - your bf is a jerk. He makes you feel bad about yourself and your life before him - why do you want to hold on to him? They say women marry (or date) men hoping they will change; men marry (or date) women hoping they will never change - both are usually disappointed. He's not going to change, so get out while you can!
Feb 12 bookaday commented on Savage Love.
Isn't it possible that the guy has sexual issues because of the meds he's on? And waiting 20 years to get his life going seems like horrible advice. Join a church, join a dating service, join a club or take a class or volunteer...all good ways to meet single girls. 20 years of using a prostitute(and isn't that illegal?) is not the best use of his time.
Jan 15 bookaday commented on Savage Love.
I still don't understand what she was doing if her hands were in his undies and she was feeling all around but NOT touching the goods?! What was she touching? His pubes and the crease where leg meets torso? What else is there for her to touch? Why exactly was he supposed to pant and writhe around? If she says "nothing below the belt" then fine, but then she goes and breaks her own rule, and because he does not react like a teenage boy she's thinking he's gay? Weird!
Dec 4, 2013 bookaday commented on Savage Love.
Wife...how would you feel if you had a sister who was, let's say, tall. And your husband always wanted to sleep w a tall woman. Would you be ok w that, not to mention future holiday dinners, where it would be so incredibly awkward?!
Oct 30, 2013 bookaday commented on Savage Love.
@30 - while everything "in our stupid society is gendered" might be true, "the vast majority of people are blithering idiots when it comes to gender issues" is not. While gender issues may have been around since people have been around, I never heard of anyone questioning their gender until I was in my 30s or later. Kids going to school as the gender opposite of what they appear, fighting for rights to use opposite sex bathrooms, having gender reassignment surgery - a lot of this is new. Considering that homosexuals are still fighting for basic human rights in 2013 (!), the idea that people don't know or understand much about gender issues (something not taught in schools, not seen much on the news, etc.) does not make them "blithering idiots." I try to keep informed, but I don't understand much about the terms, definitions, etc. about the world of gender. Don't know the difference between transsexual and transgendered (definitions on the web are tricky to follow), never heard of the phrase "cisgender" until reading about it here. There's so much education that needs to take place before people can truly get it.
Oct 30, 2013 bookaday commented on Savage Love.
@22 - it's not fair, but in today's society female things are gendered, male not so much. See a baby in pink or lavendar - everyone assumes a girl. A baby in green or blue - could be either gender.

@21 - really?!! Men in skirts who are straight and go dancing that way? Men, I though, usually go dancing at clubs to meet women. Don't see most young women being comfortable being approached by a man in a skirt (especially if he wears it because it twirls and is fun). If this is a club trend, I've never seen pix of it or read about it or heard anyone speaking of it. I'ts like men in make up - was very glam and edgy in the 80s - but now, men in make up - I think people assume either 'actor' or 'gay.' Even the Man Bag (purse?) has never really caught on and gone mainstream.
Oct 30, 2013 bookaday commented on Savage Love.
@5: "but most of the cis-men I know have worn a dress or a skirt at least once." Really?! I've never seen or heard of a guy wearing a dress or skirt other than for Halloween (or a kilt, which may look like a skirt but is not). I guess maybe there are some guys out there who do, but again, have never known of any.
Sep 25, 2013 bookaday commented on Savage Love.
@31: some engineering students right out of college are hired w 6 figure saleries. Not sure I know any other job that pays $$ w/o an advanced degree.
Aug 21, 2013 bookaday commented on Savage Love.
I don't understand the first letter. I'm glad his parents are so cool, and hopefully they will either a) get him help (or support or whatever) and b) get him a job to pay for his diaper needs...but:

1) baby doll diapers are about 4" - 6" wide when closed - how could that fit him (ditto toddler pull ups, which are at least bigger but usually if they fit a toddler they are not made to fit bigger kids.

2) how on earth does he get into a neighbor's home to steal diapers? The stealing is way more disturbing than the use of diapers. Maybe it's the stealing he gets off on?

3) baby poo diapers smell, even when in a Diaper Genie. I'd think teenage poo diapers would stink up a room after a day or two something awful - enough that there is no way he could hide what he is doing, ever! Why would he not hide them in the trash can in the garage or dispose of them somewhere like a public dumpster?

Jun 5, 2013 bookaday commented on Savage Love.
Many say Heartbroken should sue. Sue for what? Depending on where they live, she may not be entitled to anything but child support. If kids are young and she is a stay at home mom, she may very well be responsible for half the debt, including mortgage, and her child support could very well be 1000/mo or way less, not enough for her and kids to live on. Not saying she zhould not leave, not saying she should forgive, but she needs to talk to a lawyer about her obligations and options and state laws before doing anything. Often, even the best $$ lawyer cannot circumvent the laws of the state. In Indiana, example, there is no alimony and my child support is way less than 10% of my ex-husband's 300k+/ yr salary.

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