Diagoras
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Jul 5 Diagoras commented on Savage Love.
@90 I find that a much better solution to that is to bring a book with me or find something on my phone to read to avoid conversations with men I don't know altogether. I hate talking to strangers anyway. If someone asks me what book I'm reading I point to the title but make it clear that I want to get back to my book. It might be rude, but so is interrupting someone when they are clearly trying to read ;)
Jul 5 Diagoras commented on Savage Love.
@11 I disagree. It's far better to say "I'm not interested" than "I'm in a relationship" and I'll tell you a story about why. Once I was in the parking lot of a Walgreens after doing my shopping, headed to my car. A man came up to me and told me he was attracted to me. I told him I was married. He said, "That's okay. I'm married, too!" From then on, I decided to stick with, "I'm not interested" or "You're not my type." Too many men just don't care if you're married or in a relationship.
Jul 5 Diagoras commented on I, Anonymous.
Preppy6917, oh why because they have the nerve to be both attractive and out in public at the same time? I was once catcalled wearing a baggy rain poncho while underaged at the time. This sort of thing happens to kids as young as 11 years old. It's time to quit making excuses for these disgusting low lifes.
Jul 5 Diagoras commented on I, Anonymous.
@2 why do you doubt some random guys acted like aggressive, entitled jerks? It happens all the time, everyday, in every community. At the very least some jerk yells something out a car window. It's not even in the realm of the implausible. Ask any of your female friends or relatives. They'll tell you.
Jun 23 Diagoras commented on I, Anonymous.
Yes, it is legal to take photos of people in public, but sexual harassment is not legal and if he was making it obvious that he was perving on her while taking the pictures then that is where he went wrong. He should have been more discreet and not have creeped her out. That was rude.
Jun 5 Diagoras commented on Savage Love.
Maintenance sex doesn't mean gritting your teeth through sex you are repulsed by out of a sense of duty. It's not the same as duty sex. Depending on what the problem is, if the problem is low libido, it's about making an effort to create anticipation before the event and mentally getting yourself in the mood. If the problem is that the chemistry has faded, it might be about mentally enjoying a great fantasy about someone else while having sex with your spouse. It's never great sex but it's not necessary bad either and if it keeps your spouse happy and you get some mild enjoyment out of it, why not?
May 18 Diagoras commented on Savage Love.
@208, never actually had bathroom sex but I did have a couple of one night stands after being picked up by a guy in a bar. I was not looking for a relationship at the time. I was horny. The sexual chemistry was right. Also, both times the guy walked straight from the door right over to me without even looking at anyone else first. I think that probably made a big difference.
May 18 Diagoras commented on Savage Love.
@46 It is easy to reconcile. Sexual chemistry fades long before love does in a long term relationship. In some relationships, it fades to nothing. Without sexual chemistry, sex becomes boring. That's why sex in the beginning of a relationship is always more exciting than several years in.
Apr 30 Diagoras commented on Savage Love.
I don't see why PART should have to give up an opposite sex friend just because his wife is jealous. Based on the letter, his wife's jealousy does not seem to have any basis. She's never met the woman, therefore she has no evidence that the woman has any attraction to her husband. Her husband has expressed no attraction toward his friend, not even in the letter, and has said his feelings are platonic. He says his wife is jealous of the TIME they spend together, which says to me she needs to do three things 1- Find a separate hobby of her own so she realizes that it's ok for married people to have separate interests 2- Suggest a hobby they can both participate in together if they are not already doing that, because that is also important. 3-Stop being so controlling. You can't treat your spouse like a child. It doesn't work. Even if he was doing something wrong, it still wouldn't be the right approach. (In that case you have to point out how he's wrong, why it's upsetting, let him make his own decision and then you make yours.) Meanwhile, there is one thing he could say that might help IF it's the truth he could say that he's not at all attracted to her and that she's not his type - that's the exact sort of thing she wants to hear. Not a good idea if it isn't the truth, though.
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Apr 30 Diagoras commented on Savage Love.
@165 "Don't want to share every moment of living in your own home with another person?" <-- That is NOT what marriage is like! Married people actually leave the house sometimes, often separately to go to their jobs, or to go to separate social functions. Sometimes one of us is home when the other is not. Sometimes we are both home but not together because one of us is upstairs while the other is downstairs. Sometimes he goes to sleep before I do and I get to watch TV by myself. It is not as if we are handcuffed together every second of the day, 24/7.