Oct 20, 2014 olechka commented on I, Anonymous.
Sounds like he dumped her when she wasn't ready to exit the relationship and this is payback. Shrug. Shit happens. You clearly hurt her feelings and she's doing the same to you. Only way to avoid it is to move out. (Ps the person pulling the plug should generally be the one to volunteer to leave)
Oct 12, 2014 olechka commented on Comic.
What #6 said. Way to be emotionally manipulative. Whoever drew that comic should probably stop brushing their teeth, taking aspirin, and eating or drinking anything that didn't come from their garden and well. Because at some point every other thing in the world that we ingest has been tested on animals to figure out safety limits. So yeah, if we want to stop animal testing, why don't we start one person at a time. Those people can live in caves and receive zero benefits of scientific advancement. Yay!
Sep 16, 2014 olechka commented on Never Managed To Find Your G-Spot?.
@13 you must be a bore in bed. I say women should have as many pleasure centers as they are wired for. Don't worry if a gspot isn't something you can find, and of you do seem to have fun, explore away.
Jul 31, 2014 olechka commented on The Morning News: Boeing Deals Another Blow to Washington State, The GOP Hates the Man God Picked to Be the Pope, GOP Sues Obama for Being the President.
I'm sorry Charles, but that is some offensive shit. You have no right to equate the extermination of millions of people for no reason other than their ethnicity with what's happening in gaza. I may think that Israel is wrong in many ways in this particular instance, but the inescapable fact is that Palestinians have fought the right of Israel to exist and have killed many Jews in the process. So no, those two things aren't remotely the same. Whether you think Israel is wrong in this instance or not.
Jul 30, 2014 olechka commented on SL Letter of the Day: Love and Lyme.
wow guest expert. this is ridiculously not useful. you have basically just minimized her question to talk at length about your own agenda, which seems to be judgement of they way the couple had chosen to proceed and your insistence that you know better what would work for them. you could have included a couple of notes about what they might do along with hiring a sex worker, but your first duty was to actually inform this poor woman how to go about finding what it is she is actually looking for. Dan, come back already!!!
Jul 26, 2014 olechka commented on SL Letter of the Day: Anal Entitlement.
Jesus fucking christ people. NO anal sex is NOT like other typical sex acts. We are talking an involuntary muscle that only relaxes when there is genuine pleasure/relaxation. There is no fooling the ass. Otherwise, it is fucking PAINFUL. What kind of people think that he is entitled to hurt her when it clearly isn't what she wants? From personal experience with people who were not good matches for me in the anal department AND as someone who enjoys a good bdsm beating: unsexy unwanted anal sex can be just an painful and awful and intimate as an undesired slap across the face. Just because anal has become this normalized (which I am happy about) does not negate its physical realities. Even if her lack of relaxation and enjoyment is only coming from some antiquated hangups.
Jul 16, 2014 olechka commented on SL Letter of the Day: Orgasm Pressure.
I hate it when Dan leaves :(
Jul 16, 2014 olechka commented on SL Letter of the Day: Orgasm Pressure.
and @1 is right, play around with that power dynamic some more. watch some femdom porn with him, talk about what about it he thinks is hot, dont let him jerk off, then fuck. but he needs to remember that you are not a pro dom and it will have to be a gradual transition from mostly vanilla to more kinky. and that sometimes it will be silly and won't look at all like the porn.
Jul 16, 2014 olechka commented on SL Letter of the Day: Orgasm Pressure.
Nope, wrong advice. Men and women have completely differently oriented genitals. Clitoral stimulation is necessary for most women because their internal clitoral structures are not oriented optimally for stimulation by penetration. His dick IS his clitoris. Masturbating every day he isn't with her, using tons of visual stimulation, potentially gripping his dick in only one way and too hard is absolutely going to desensitize him to actual penetrative sex. Her need for him to be able to come from intercourse is valid, it is something almost any other man could provide her with. It may be possible that he physically cannot meet that need (and then she will either have to find someone else or what, impregnate herself with a turkey baster?) but they haven't even begun to try to work on this issue. The answer isn't to just pretend it isn't an issue. Here are some actual constructive suggestions:

1. he's into femdom? ok, orgasm denial. he is not allowed to masturbate without you for two weeks. you also will fuck him but won't let him come any other way besides inside you. if it isn't happening, no biggie. you just stop having sex and go do something else. very likely by just a few days in his body will have no choice but to easy up on what it takes for him to come

2. fuck then when you have already come have him pull out and either jerk himself, or have you jerk him off to the point of almost orgasm such that his dick is wildly sensitive. then have him put it back in you and clench down around it.

3. make it playful/positive. it's ok to say "this is really important to me and I need to feel like treating this as valid is something I can expect from you, including making some reasonable changes in your masturbatory routine" it isn't ok to tell him that he is always disappointing you and to get huffy and sad whenever he doesn't come. presuming that he is trying different things with his porn, masturbating, or alternating penetration with jerking off.

Anyway, just some ideas off the top of my head. "Just deal with it" is not exactly helpful, mr guest expert.
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Jul 16, 2014 olechka commented on Savage Love.
LW1 Please stay out of lesbian bars. It is indeed touristy and rude. Unless you are there as a male friend of a group of queer women, not just the boyfriend of one. But yeah, feel free to go to the larger dancy gay bars, just don't be that gross couple practically banging against the wall because you are somewhere where the guys won't try to fuck your girlfriend too (seen this more times than I can count). But you sound like a thoughtful dude so I trust that you'd behave yourself appropriately. Also, make queer friends so you can actually go to a gay bar feeling even more comfortable in a group. And tell your friend he was a dick and to not touch people who haven't welcomed it. No need to discuss his sexuality, it's a boundaries thing more than anything else

LW2 At first I kinda thought you seemed bizarre. Jealous of a dog? That is odd. Then I remembered my ex. Yes she loved me, but she loved her cat in a way that actually did interfere with our relationship. Wouldn't want to leave the house because of the cat, would talk about the cat CONSTANTLY, wouldn't let me have my own pillow on the bed because that was the cat's pillow (when we moved in together I drew a line but we were a terrible match anyway and of course it didn't work). Anyway, stick around and see if he warms up to you without pressuring him too much. If in 6 months the way he shows affection for you hasn't changed, move on.
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