Feb 5, 2013
commented on SL Letter of the Day: The Birthday Girl
Sometimes a herpes outbreak is not as obvious as the horrific, worst-case scenario, STI images you may have been subjected to. I had oral HSV1 for years without knowing it, because I didn't catch it sexually and I never had anything that looked like a cold sore. I got chapped lips that got flaky a little outside my lip area once or twice. It took a doctor seeing me when I was having an outbreak to inform me that a herpes outbreak doesn't always look like cold sores, after I had unknowingly passed it on to a partner. NO idea I even had it, and I'd been asking for the full range of STI tests every year since I'd been sexually active. They don't give you this test unless you ask for it, typically, and even then they may be hesitant. So, I would not be surprised if a lot of people are unaware of their herpes outbreaks, including this woman.
The kid was probably going to get HSV anyway, though. Not that the LW is absolved of any fault. Of all the things he could have caught from a partner at 18 for making a stupid mistake, this isn't that bad. Hopefully, he will learn his lesson, learn a bunch more about STIs, and be safer and more informed in the future. LW was still foolish, but everybody makes stupid, stupid mistakes when they're horny and/or ill-informed. And let's not forget that it was probably all that pre-penetration dick poking that transmitted the virus, not the lack of a condom (though that was a dumb move too).
Oct 13, 2012
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Word of Mouth
As a woman who spent some time in chat rooms in her teenage years, you can't discuss sex with a guy online for a very long time before he starts bragging about his cock. Of course, they're all ridiculously huge, never mind the fact that "the bigger the better" is not every woman's motto. Be careful with sexting or any conversations with women online. If she has not asked for details about your cock, do not volunteer any information about it. And if she does, and this is a woman you might actually meet in person someday, do not exaggerate. The phrase "I've slept with a very experienced woman who told me I am huge" or even "every partner I've been with tells me I'm huge" makes it sound like you slept with a woman who was just telling you what you wanted to hear. Also sounds suspiciously like "I don't understand why you're telling me you need X in bed. All my other partners have gotten off from what we did."
Another vote for "cultivate other attractive qualities in yourself, don't talk about your cock before she's seen it, and let her be pleasantly surprised, if she's the sort of woman who's into whatever you've got going on."