saxfanatic
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Jan 7 saxfanatic commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Snooper Boyfriend Keeps Snooping Through Passed Out Girlfriend's Phone.
@BDF: Oh, right, that makes more sense. D'oh, so much needless sharing!

Anyway, I don't see Dan promising SOS a saved relationship, let alone trying to get SOS to emulate him in any way - except this: He too should think outside the box.
Jan 7 saxfanatic commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Snooper Boyfriend Keeps Snooping Through Passed Out Girlfriend's Phone.
I'll take the "bi person" assessment as a compliment, LavaGirl. Actually I'm a, let's say, 85% wommin-lovin' manly-man. My partner and past partners have all been girly-girls with whom I've had monogamous relationships. As I've grown older and less testosterone-driven and more human, however, I've become much more sympathetic to my non-straight relatives, colleagues and clients.

I'd like to say that I have made openly-gay friends outside of work and family but I can't think of anyone who I considered a friend who came out to me. I want to be a kind and trustworthy person. Someone confiding in me would be a strong confirmation of that. That's a big part of why I read Savage Love.

Having said all that, my intention wasn't to take a swipe at Dan, the LW, his GF, commenters here or anyone else. Nor did I mean to advocate for any of many, many options SOS has for keeping what he wants to keep and avoiding what he wants to avoid.

SOS has to make a choice and stop being passive about the relationship he wants.

Jan 7 saxfanatic commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Snooper Boyfriend Keeps Snooping Through Passed Out Girlfriend's Phone.
Ouch! Reading this letter is hitting a nerve.

The relationship as it has existed is clearly dead. LW and GF know it. Their words and actions clearly demonstrate it. Yeah, Dan's advice is really out there but let's face: if Savage Love readers - including SOS - wanted conventional advice they would have stuck with Dear Ann.

Where Dan and Ann would see eye-to-eye, I imagine, is that LW and GF are going to have to communicate w-a-y better. They might turn to their pastor (à la Ann) for counselling, or they might just seize the bull by the horns and hammer out terms for a monogamish relationship (à la Dan)... or maybe a try a little from both playbooks.

Whatever they do, whether they stay in this relationship or move to other people, they are going to have to clearly and directly express their needs and to listen to their partner(s).

I wish them luck.
Jan 4 saxfanatic commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Marathon Man & Woman.
When reading the "marathon" reference in the headline I thought that Dan was recommending amenorrhea induced by long distance running. While technically possible, that would be more time consuming than just having a kid.
Jan 4 saxfanatic commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Marathon Man & Woman.
@13: "Time to stop using non-Democrats as your fucking punching bag at every turn."

Never! It's why God put them on Earth.

...Oh fine. Have it your way. No-one will be maligned ever again. Sheesh. What's left that's fun?
Jan 2 saxfanatic commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Newly Engageed Woman Debates Confessing Bullshit "Infidelity" Or Keeping Mouth Shut.
The hetero wedding "farce" and the corresponding "gay counterfarce" are useful descriptors indeed. Thanks again, Dan, for enriching English yet again.
Dec 23, 2016 saxfanatic commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Toy Story.
At the risk of sounding isolationist, I would suggest that you consider only American-made toys. Foreign made ones could be tantamount to a form of medical tourism.
Dec 20, 2016 saxfanatic commented on They Ain't Gonna Play Trump City.
D'oh! I thought he had been saying "bigly".
Dec 20, 2016 saxfanatic commented on They Ain't Gonna Play Trump City.
@2: I was annoyed with Bruins goalie Tim Thomas when he missed the team's post-Stanley Cup Presidential meet-and-greet. It should cut both ways, though. If it's wrong to snub the President I like then it's equally wrong to snub the one I don't.
Dec 20, 2016 saxfanatic commented on They Ain't Gonna Play Trump City.
@5: "Big league"? Hell, I thought he had saying "bigly". Well, either way it's bigly stupid.