in-frequent
Seattle
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11:45 AM in-frequent commented on Move, Bitch. Get Out the Way. My Final Philosophy.
Thank you and farewell! You are an original in more ways than one, and you'll be missed!
Sep 23 in-frequent commented on Savage Love.
@186 i was responding to the comment that this was a bribe. it's more of an extortion than a bribe. the definition of extortion being: "the practice of obtaining something, especially money, through force or threats." there is a threat here (divorce). now, i wouldn't come out and say she's extorting him, even if he was the letter writer offering his perspective. but in a metaphysical way of speaking, it is an extortion.
Sep 23 in-frequent commented on Savage Love.
@biDanFan - she's not bribing him, she's extorting him. she's taking something away, not offering something new. there is a difference.

and pressuring can be as wrong as forcing, in some instances.

@ricardo if the double-standard is that she can change her mind if she decides to have kids later, but he might not be able to, i think that is an entirely reasonable concern.

@emmaLiz it's also a double-standard that she is worried about him knocking someone up, but not herself getting pregnant. in your own example you say sometimes people get pregnant and suddenly decide having the baby is the right thing to do. that *could* happen to her as well, couldn't it? as much as it could happen to him? otherwise, he can be an absent father and only pay child support. if the money isn't really the issue, she should trust that he doesn't want to be a father. sure, it's expensive, but it's very unlikely. might as well not ski or ride a bike for fear of becoming paralyzed.
Sep 23 in-frequent commented on Savage Love.
come on, this should be easy. his body, his choice. why is there disagreement on this? even if he said one thing, he can change his mind about his body. it's his.

she shouldn't pester him for a vasectomy any more than a man should pester a woman about her body. maybe he wants the option to change his mind in the future. not that it matters, but that is entirely reasonable. her fears -- as she's articulated them (accidental or malicious pregnancy where the woman doesn't planB or abort and also sues for child support -- are far less reasonable.

we don't know the "terms" of their relationship. if she entered because he promised a vasectomy, he should hold up his end of the agreement. if he wanted to be with her to have an open marriage, and the vasectomy was added as a condition later, than she is the one being unreasonable.

Sep 19 in-frequent commented on America's Largest Police Union Endorses Donald Trump.
@Mark in Colorado sorry to hear about 5280. he was frustrating at times, but seemed honest, sincere, and was willing to reasonably engage in dialog, i feel he was a part of our slog community, and it makes me a little sad to hear he lost his struggle with cancer. and i'm sorry for your loss.
Sep 16 in-frequent commented on The Morning News: Teachers Cancel Black Lives Matter Event After Threat, Garfield Football Team to Kneel During the National Anthem.
this is a serious bummer. i hope the school can find a way to do it regardless.
Sep 12 in-frequent commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Bitter Pill.
also, not to pile on, but i notice she says she worried the boyfriend might be watching porn she doesn't approve of. this is kind of a problem, too, i'd guess. the separation of fantasy from reality, and the idea that certain fantasies are bad. this may extend to her view of sex being bad in some ways, too. it's certainly a reason the boyfriend would have not share his choices with her. and if she's never come, well, maybe the boyfriend needs to try harder or at least other things. but also she shouldn't get upset at him for eventually giving up -- what's he supposed to do? not come himself? or not stop fucking her until he collapses of heat exhaustion pneumonia?
Aug 16 in-frequent commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Daddy's Pretend Girl Worried About Daddy's Actual Girl.
@12 the mane point is it's a bit of a joke. don't saddle him with unfair expectations.
Aug 8 in-frequent commented on Here's Matt Hickey on FetLife, Looking for "Sluts" in Vegas.
first off, there was a follow-up story where -- and god i hate to say this -- actual rape rape was reported to have been committed. so there's that.

secondly, committed no crime? even doofuses agree it was at least fraud, as well as identity theft, copyright infringement, and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. so there was a crime or two or so even using your stupid logic. and finally, duh, not every crime is prosecuted due to a number of factors including one that came into play here, the statute of limitations. he may not have been found legally guilty (yet) of anything, but that doesn't mean rational people disregard the overwhelming testimony that says he did, in fact, commit crimes.

third, and most important, his MO was to get girls -- real girls sorry CD girls -- drunk and have sex with them. he found the best/easiest way for him to do this was to lure them to his place by criminally impersonating a woman and fraudulently representing valuable consideration for work. if you read this new ad, it seems like he is setting up to do the exact same thing.

now, even in your trollish worlds, if a person is actually not committing any crimes but is taking advantage of people, a warning would STILL be warranted. but here in the real world, where people accept that some crimes can occur without the person being found legally guilty, and where we listen to multiple witnesses and victims, and where we can see a pattern of behavior, in that world, this is news that he looks to be at it again.
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