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Sep 20, 2011 recklessliving commented on Savage Love.
To Auntie (aka 235)
Yes, she is the woman, and as the WOMAN she has an important role to play... called not letting her body be impregnated if that isn't what she really wants. Granted, shit happens. Condoms break, birth control is never 100%, etc... however, if she wants to romp, or let him "tip her"... she's basically just rolling the dice, and accepting abortion as a standard means of birth control.
So, clueless. No more than you. I know how it happens, in fact, I have two of my own (BOTH while using b/c). Had the option of abortion, no thanks. But, since we at least tried to prevent BEFORE conception... we have more of a right than most to terminate. Still didn't use it.
Sorry to kick the soap box out from under you, but yes, the man has many RIGHTS which are trampled by the woman who forces her rights above all else.
Oh, and as much as I enjoy reading Dan's columns, you're an absolute fool if you read this book and pulled "the woman assumes the majority of the risk (specifically on STDs). If the man got the STDs... it most likely wasn't from another man. Risk of STDs are perfectly 50/50.
But I digress, my apologies. Point here really isn't about the rights of abortion/child support. The woman "assuming the majority of the risk" should be far more responsible than playing the "How'd that happen", knowing her body as you said and take PREVENTATIVE measures... not using abortion as a "just because". Be proactive, not reactive. That's just ridiculous.

Turn the cattle prod on yourself, thank you.
Sep 20, 2011 recklessliving commented on Savage Love.
@Nellygirl. Oddly enough, Atlas has a very good very solid point. If the woman holds all the rights to make the choice on having an abortion (aka to hell if the guy wants to have the child) then perhaps the guy should have the right to opt out of child support (aka I ASKED you to have the abortion...)
Sure, I realize I'm going to get hell for this, because after all the GUY should have worn the condom, right? What about the girl? This girl is saying her choice about pregnancy isn't prevention, it's AFTER the fact. While I AM pro-choice, what she's saying is straight out sick. Call it premeditated murder. It's about the only time I'll hop on that side of the fence. Abortion is meant for "oh $hit, that shouldn't have happened" scenarios, or, if the child has some serious problems... not because, well, I kept letting him dicktease me, KNOWING I'd get pregnant. Show some responsibility. Either make him cover up, take the pill, take the shot, wear a diaphragm... I don't care, do SOMETHING! But allowing it to happen, and using abortion as a safety net, for that... it's just f'ing wrong.
Oct 21, 2010 recklessliving commented on Savage Love.
To ALL who think that what PTSD is doing-
answer me this.
Since PTSD can just go out and continue fucking her boyfriend, (who indeed she's obviously showing more effort to keep something going with than her husband)
Would it then be ok for the husband to just go do his own thing, no holds barred. Go find a girlfriend, fuck her, only her, want her only her. Hell, let's go to the extremes, because, let's face it, with this "open" relationship, that she obviously doesn't feel should have ANY boundaries, he doesn't even have to return home, expect maybe to catch a bite to eat, pay the bills and perhaps change clothes. Sounds fair to me. A tit for a tat.
Oct 21, 2010 recklessliving commented on Savage Love.
@ 98
I'm afraid you're completely off your rocker! So, the HUSBAND is selfish because while she needs to heal, by fucking somebody other than him, who- by being married, they should solve these problems together, not by going out and looking for other fuck buddies, he is hurt and requests for her to focus on him and their relationship. You're so right, that selfish bastard. Give me a break. You, my friend, certainly need to open your eyes. The husband's feelings are quite justified. And I'm quite certain, if this situation were upon you, and you were the husband- you'd feel quite similar.
Oct 21, 2010 recklessliving commented on Savage Love.
@ 62
It's apparent that you completely pulled the whole "selective reading" issue here. PTSD obviously has NO issue with, as you put it, committed relationship type sex. She loves to have sex with her boyfriend, and doesn't want to leave him or stop (which defines THAT relationship as committed- despite it being secondary or any other way..., it's consistant, it's committed). Casual wouldn't be something repeatedly sought after and fought for. So, while understanding your point, your sending it in the wrong direction. She obviously doesn't have the same issue. She just wants freedom, from her husband. This isn't a PTSD issue, it's about not wanting to be married to her husband. So, as stated by so many- it's cruel, it's wrong and she needs to let him know she's done with the relationship so he can move on in life. Instead, she's just being selfish and controlling.

Oct 12, 2010 recklessliving commented on Savage Love.
it's simple. It was something attempted, something he wanted to explore, YOU were willing. Drunk or not. It wasn't forced upon you... no pity trip there. He's uncomfortable with you taking the ball and running with it, it isn't just about you being in control, it's about you going the extra yards. How about he now heads out the door and finds whatever extra women he wants to fuck. Would you be ok with that, or would you too then say "maybe we should take a few steps back here". You know you would. We all would. It's ok to get what we want, whatever it takes to make us happy... As a few said, obviously this is something you wanted because you did go a few steps further and make this something all about YOU. You took your husband out of the equation and started fucking the friend on your own. So he's being selfish by saying STOP? Wrong.
If what you want is freedom, go with it, leave the marriage, or let him DTFB (you). If not, work TOGETHER. Sorry that you will no longer be able to live our your sexual dreams. Life goes on.

Oct 12, 2010 recklessliving commented on Savage Love.
It would have been a wonderful thing had she gone to the police. She could have then made up yet another story, conflicting with her first, and then might have been shown for the liar she most likely is. God forgive me if I'm wrong, but this has been played out so many times. Regretable decisions. Then lies to cover them up.

Jul 28, 2010 recklessliving commented on Savage Love.
Not rape. Period. A drunked regretted decision, but not rape. Take the pity trips elsewhere.
Jul 1, 2009 recklessliving commented on Savage Love.
Not rape. Nothing was FORCED. "Forced" would suggest that she continued the fight. As a male, I have given in to the manipulation of things I didn't initially want to go through with, and it was hardly rape. She wants sympathy and support for her actions. She tells the story as she wants it to appear, hence the back and forth, the facts don't flow. She put herself in a bad, regrettable position, one she CHOSE to. Whether or not her initial intentions were to have intercourse with said fella, he did NOT force himself on her. Persistant-yes, violent, forceful, dangerous, attacking, assault- no.
Not falling for it. Cry wolf again next time, and eventually it will REALLY happen... then I wonder how she'll feel when NO ONE believes her.
Attention starved, sad.
May 6, 2009 recklessliving commented on Youth Pastor Watch.
That's right, blame this on religion. Because an Atheist would NEVER do something like this. Fact of the matter is, if this guy were truly "religious" had any real faith or belief at all, he would never have done this. He would have feared the outcome after life, whereas an Atheist (at least moreso than a believer in some type of afterlife) wouldn't care less the cause/effect.

Seriously folks, what goes through your minds? Is it just a quick finger pointing? You just need a label to blame? An excuse??? So... if he was a veggan, not a youth pastor (and a fraud at that), would you say "damn Veggans, nothing good comes from them".

Quit looking for a group, a label, whatever... and just hold the person responsible.