Nov 25, 2009 justme commented on Savage Love.
@11 - actually its pretty rare that a home pregnancy test will give a false positive, and almost impossible that four in a row will. they give false negatives all the time, but false positives are few and far between. that being said, i agree that she needs to get a blood test to confirm.
Nov 5, 2009 justme commented on I, Anonymous.
@25 i'm pretty sure you have it backwards. "these types" don't become teachers.... teachers become these types.

as balderdash said, it's an uphill battle. its easy to see how 10 years of it would turn someone into a cynic.
Nov 5, 2009 justme commented on I, Anonymous.
@ 16, i agree completely. what i'm saying though is let the school board be the ones who fuck things up - don't just give in yourself and cater to them. if they're not passing the class, fail them. if they want to take it up from there, at least you did what you could.

there is so much about the school systems in this country that is beyond fucked up that i won't even bother going into it. imho teachers should be paid as much or more than doctors because their job is just as important, if not more. but they don't, which means the reason they are teaching to begin with is to try and improve the minds of young adults. don't let the dumbass school boards and the dumbass parents of the kids be an excuse to give up on that.
Nov 5, 2009 justme commented on Savage Love.
@ mr blues... you both need to get the fuck over yourselves if you want to actually fix whats wrong.

doggy style is too much like anal? whose thoughts are those, yours or your wife's? if they're yours then you need to get the stick out of your butt, and if they're hers you need to find out what's really wrong. i suggest you guys get into counseling.

from a non-informed-non-professional-yet-experienced-with-trying-to-incorporate-good-sex-into-new-family-stress point of view, it would appear that your wife is not interested in sex because:

a) she's got 3 freaking kids to chase after - she's exhausted
b) she's feeling self-conscious about her war-torn body (doesn't matter how many times you tell her she's beautiful - she has to adjust to the changes herself)
c) her body has physically changed internally, meaning things that used to get her off simply don't anymore (this happens to those of us who are experienced too)
d) you're putting entirely too much pressure on fixing it for her to feel secure enough to explore

both of you need to lighten the fuck up, have some fun, and get over your hurt feelings and insecurities. if you can't do it on your own, seek the advice of a professional sex counselor.

Nov 4, 2009 justme commented on Savage Love.
@54 - teenage years suck for sure, but everything you listed above (with the exception of possibly having abusive parents) are just trivial things. they are "difficult" in the minds of a teenager of course, (especially one lucky enough to have parents like yourself to guide them and tell them what is or isn't appropriate for their age) but in the grand scheme of things they are not even remotely difficult in the real world. i certainly agree with you that being an adult is way more fun, and i'd NEVER go back... i was just trying to stress to @8 that anyone who thinks that 14 year olds don't need parents or parent figures in their lives is sorely mistaken.
Nov 4, 2009 justme commented on Savage Love.
@8 - "14 year olds, male, female, straight, bi, whatever, are fragile beings who don't need nosy and arrogant adults making their lives any more difficult."

the straight up petulance in this sentence alone makes me think you must be 14 yourself. you know, when i was 14, i thought this too. then i grew up just a few more years and realized how fucking leotarded that was.

most 14 year olds today have to worry about which boy/girl likes them or what shirt they should wear this morning or which pimple cream ACTUALLY works. their lives are not all that "difficult".

if you want to see a 14 year old understand what a difficult life is, go ahead and stay out of their business. let them get pregnant. let them figure out how to raise a family on their own. i tell you right now, i'm in my late 20's, educated, and completely self supportive, and its fucking difficult for ME to have a family... i can't even imagine if i was 14!

i guess maybe in a few years you'll look back and realize the silliness of your comment.
Nov 4, 2009 justme commented on I, Anonymous.
wow this sounds like one of my old high school teachers. she made her feelings clear during classes though, and i highly respected that.

don't smile and cater to them. don't pass them simply because you think you need to.

help them. don't let their bullshit fly. clearly parents aren't doing their jobs - don't bail on yours as well. we need good teachers who aren't afraid to teach something other than history or math.

those nice sweet kids you're talking about have to grow up in this world too and if you give up on the shitty kids, you're doing just as much to contribute to the fucked-uppedness of it as any of the parents are.
Oct 14, 2009 justme commented on Savage Love.
oh, dang, guess i wasn't the first to invent mine either...
Oct 14, 2009 justme commented on Savage Love.
@152 - sorry, should have been more specific. long before the current dominant religion (christianity) was invented.

marriage is a tradition that has been around longer than any church-invented definition of what it should and should not be.
Oct 14, 2009 justme commented on Savage Love.
i've got one too.... Oblication. it's when you get stuck using vaca time from work to visit family members that you don't particularly want to see but you have a responsibility to visit them.

"So, you're going on vacation eh? Have fun!"
"eh... not vacation - oblication. visiting my mother in law. wish me luck."