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May 12, 2016 MichelleZB commented on SL Letter of the Day: In The Neighborhood.
Almost nobody has mentioned that it's possible to keep the relationship open while just scaling the frequency of outside sex down a little. How often did the LW hook up with his piece on the side? Maybe he's quite ok with her getting sex on the side, just not a new dude fortnightly. Perhaps he's more comfortable with more of a "few times a year" arrangement instead of a "few times a month" one, and if he talked to his wife about how he's feeling, she'd space out her dates a bit more gradually and the matter could just be resolved.
Apr 12, 2016 MichelleZB commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Meat the Wife.
You sound very contemptuous of your wife as a person. Being friendly with her (eating, watching movies) is not the same thing as being friends exactly.

Is it fair to either of you to attempt to continue having some sort of romantic connection? It sounds like your respect for each other (at least on a deep, romantic level) died many years ago, and now by forcing it you are just being cruel to one another.

But of course all I have to go on are a few paragraphs you've written.
Apr 11, 2016 MichelleZB commented on Required Reading for Americans During Tax Week.
If you don't have healthcare, you are oppressed every day by the crushing worry of what might happen to your life if you are ill or injured. You have a low level worry every day because of it, a worry you are never free from. It is not freedom. It is oppressive.

Freedom for all is universal healthcare. People should pay whatever they have to pay to get that kind of freedom.
Apr 4, 2016 MichelleZB commented on Bernie or Hillary or Both.
Bernie was an independent up until recently, and is a bit to the left of your typical Democrat. It should hardly be a surprise that he comes with a few extra voters that don't normally vote in an election and are unlikely to be motivated by a more mainstream candidate like Hillary. One of Bernie's selling points is that he brings new voters in--youth vote, disenfranchised vote, etc. It is too much for Hillary to expect that she will be able to retain them all, though she may win over some in the end. Such is politics. If you run a campaign meant to appeal to the old party brass, those are the voters you will get. Hillary chose her niche and it will probably work for her ok, but she can't expect every young protester to get excited about her because it just won't happen.
Mar 12, 2016 MichelleZB commented on Hillary Clinton: "The Reagans, particularly Nancy, helped start 'a national conversation' about HIV and AIDS.".
Welcome back, Dan! Hillary has been telling offensive lies like this the whole time... this one woke you up.

Consider supporting Bernie. If he loses the nomination, you can still hold your nose and vote for Hillary as a least-worst candidate for president. But stop this "I support both candidates equally!" nonsense.

To help you think about this, here's what Bernie was up to in the 80's during the AIDS crisis. http://www.sevendaysvt.com/OffMessage/ar…
Mar 10, 2016 MichelleZB commented on About Those Consent Is Simple PSAs....
Yup, the ads suck. Each one features unwanted sexual touching. The idea is that you're supposed to establish consent first, not try a grab and see if she objects.
Jan 31, 2016 MichelleZB commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Why No Letters From Happily Married Hetero Folks?.
I'm happily married and Dan published my letter a few years ago... it happens. I didn't have a question. I was just thanking him for making non-monogamy cool, and therefore by extension ensuring the happiness of my marriage.
Dec 22, 2015 MichelleZB commented on SL Letter of the Day: High Hopes.
So I've heard that a solid majority of women prefer taller men, but there are those that don't care. I am 5'6 and have never minded if a guy is shorter than me. Maybe that is because my father and brother are both 5'4. But it's always seemed fine to me.
Maybe you'll run into a lady like me. We do exist.
Sep 11, 2015 MichelleZB commented on Survivor of Homeschooling Moved By Joel's Story.
I think there is an abusive fundamentalist movement who have co-opted homeschooling.

It would be fine to do, I think, with state-wide curriculum standards, testing, and someone overseeing homeschooled families (let's say they get visits once a year, etc.). I am a classical musician and know many kids who homeschooled just so they could get their academic work done faster to have more time to practice. School has many advantages, but it is slow and wastes time, and can be boring for a bright child.
Aug 13, 2015 MichelleZB commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Wetting Zinger.
@5. Bedwetting isn't usually a psychological problem. That's very ancient medical information you're working with. It's usually pretty upsetting to a bedwetter if you tell them they must do it because they're *crazy*. You can't control it; you're asleep. Most people have a hormone that stops pee production during sleep. Bedwetters are usually missing this hormone (or there could be other bladder issues at work).

Solidarity, letter writer! I wet the bed until I was 13. I occasionally still do it (once every few years, say). My husband has never mocked me for it, but if he did, guess whose side of the bed would get peed on? His.