Phil Meup
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Oct 1, 2014 Phil Meup commented on Savage Love.
Disgust does not mean you judge something to be immoral. Disgust means it makes you lose your appetite - the same thing as the neologism to squick out. Make all the words you want but just admit it's because you're being cute, not because English has an impoverished lexicon.
Oct 19, 2013 Phil Meup commented on SL Letter of the Day: Nuts and Chews.
This is way after the fact, but I'm the original questioner and Dan edited my question. I left it open-ended WRT male and female and orientation. I didn't ask my friend so as not to ruin the fun, but I think he became aware of top and bottom from gay culture and looked around and saw it applying to straights too. I guess that's not news. "We knows who wears the pants in that family," has been around for decades.
Aug 12, 2013 Phil Meup commented on SLLOTD: Courting Chaos.
The "fantasy" the LW has is like one variety of gay sex that goes on out there every day - especially the kind that happened before Grindr and whatever - called cruising. She doesn't want to be raped, she just wants casual or anonymous sex. Here's a bit of how cruising works. You go on about your life, but when you see someone interesting, a couple of things happen through body language, eye contact and facial expression. You establish you're both into same-sex sex, then you establish you're interested in right now, then you go somewhere and get it on. Where cruising happens can be anywhere in daily life or in places that are more or less known for it. Any bathroom can be a little cruisy, some bathrooms are absolutely only for cruising, adult bookstores can be more or less cruisy and of course a bathhouse is all cruise all the time. In the locations where it's clearly about sex like a bathhouse (Or a "lugar de encuentros" like that one in Mexico City - hot, hot, hot - which was a suite of rooms across the upper floors and roof of a couple disused buildings) it can be entirely worldless. In English, the locations where it's all about sex are called tea rooms. In places that are less gay-specific, you do some chit chat to establish membership on the team and interest. A cruising experience is usually a one-off and brief, but it can be a repeat or extend into something more. Several straight male friends have lamented there are no bathhouses for straights or hetero women lingering in the dirty bookstores. Sounds like this woman needs the same kind of opportunity.

The LW being hetero adds complexity because of the increased risk of violence although gay experiences are not without threat of violence. I got robbed in a foreign country and a friend once had his pockets drained along with his balls in a tearoom. And a mixed sex anonymous encounter might have more or a risk, but not a certainty of violence.

Once you get into it to a certain point, you can express a preference for whatever activity. In the height of the gay sex explosion of the 70's, men tucked bandanas in their pockets to indicate activity preferences and top and bottom preferences. You can also just get into it a bit and hotly whisper, "What do you like to do? I like it a little rough."

Is it so preposterous that this woman just go to a coffee shop and make eye contact and nod and make a little more eye contact and lean over to expose a bit of cleavage and say hi and progress to a quick fuck in her car or out behind the strip mall.

Mr. Bergner is entirely correct that there's a lot swirling around for this woman and she might sort one or two things out and let this fantasy ride for several months to make sure it's what she wants, but
Feb 6, 2013 Phil Meup commented on Savage Love Episode 328.
Circumcision is part of death-grip syndrome. In my crazy youth, I did plenty of guys and had a few who had problems, one of whom said, when I started playing with his rock hard dick, "Oh, don't bother, it's just so hard to come." I couldn't believe 23, slightly buzzed and finally rolling around with a comfortable longtime acquaintance and he thought getting off was a disheartening chore.

The guys who still had their foreskins had no such difficulty and those who had remnants from circs of varying executions always wanted stimulation on the bits they still had. I'm circumcised and consider myself to have somehow dodged a bullet in still being able to enjoy sex.

Sexual happiness matters and circumcision is definitely a detriment to it. The claims about avoiding disease are questionable and there are other ways to avoid disease besides removing body parts.
Feb 6, 2013 Phil Meup commented on Savage Love Episode 328.
Everyone, EVERYONE should try female condoms. I'm a gay dude and only tried them when they were in the free basket somewhere. I tried both top and bottom with boyfriend Big Richard, who liked to switch it up. From the bottom's perspective, the condom is stationary, so the sensations you get are of fullness and expansion - the good feelings. The bottom doesn't get the repeated shear force, the rubbing with the in-out, which can be a little too much like scraping. From the top's perspective, the penis moves in and out of a stationary tube, which is the sensation that most guys want - skin getting stroked longitudinally.

All the desired sensation, highly reliable barrier protection against pregnancy, slightly better protection against STI's than regular condoms, no latex to be allergic to... female condoms are genius.

Calling them female condoms made me think they weren't for me and calling them bin liners is unsexy and robs them of their clever design attributes. They are absolutely liberating and feel great. There's a little getting used to them - scrunching up the inner ring and putting it in and the small crinkly noise, so go out right now and buy a few or find the free basket somewhere and have some fun with something sexy and new!
Nov 3, 2012 Phil Meup joined My Stranger Face
Nov 3, 2012 Phil Meup commented on Savage Love.
I had a scrotal infusion once because I saw a still in a porno mag while in Amsterdam as a teenager and said "I must have this." The surprising kind of unsexy effects are that because your nuts are floating, you lose awareness of them. You could stop by the boxing gym and offer some practice while their punching bag is out for repair. The guy I found online who had the sterile equipment said you can do a big medical scene and tell a guy you're going to cut his balls off and that he'll experience some swelling but you have castrated him and what you really do is give him an infusion and if you get the head game working right he can have a day of living his castration fantasy. I candled my scrote to make sure my little men were still in there. Also since the scrotum is huge, the penis can look kind of small. The scrotum is the container so depending on your skin it usually looks like one big grapefruit not two large balls. It kind of looked like that moment of crowning - a baby's head stretching a vagina, which I've always found to be a turn-on. My guy only let me do 400 cc's. It was nearly all gone 12 hours later. The fluid migrates indiscriminately into the surrounding area a little so the whole region - penis, perineum, pubic mound - can get a little distended as it drains. It was worth doing for the exploration. I would do it again but haven't found where to get IV catheters.

Anyone remember that Star Trek Next Generation episode about the silicon crystal life form that calls humans "ugly bags of mostly water?"