Sarah in Olympia
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Oct 24 Sarah in Olympia commented on I, Anonymous.
I was assaulted by some construction workers who started with the comments about my body, about how I should smile for them, etc. etc. etc. Comments escalated to ASSAULT. It is no surprise that comments about my body, hair, smile (or lack thereof) cause me to question, very quickly, whether that speaker is about to attack me. Here's the thing, you mansplainers: we can't tell whether you intend to pay a compliment, or whether you intend to rape.
Oct 21 Sarah in Olympia commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Problem With My Gay Brother Isn't That He's Gay.
Thanksgiving is NOT the time to air dirty laundry about who's an asshole and who isn't, and why. The meal represents a TON of work on someone else's part to make everything be delicious and hospitable and juuuuuuust right, and using that time to stomp on that person's hard work by bringing out the anger and accusations is unspeakably mean and heartless. Congratulations, interventionist: you just destroyed ten other people's hope for a peaceful dinner and at least one person's many many thankless hours of preparation. I would actually write a letter, on paper, and send it through the mail.
Nov 5, 2014 Sarah in Olympia commented on SL Letter of the Day: Adventurous Parents.
Once my child was five, I took her all over the world. We lived on a ship for a summer, lived in Asia, lived in Europe, and go everywhere. It's been GREAT! She's in college now and a citizen of the world. The two most limiting times were her first five years, and her high school years (zero flexibility on attendance). But she's off on her own now, happily independent with friends all over the world, and I'm still adventuring.

Note: Dan's words about having just one child are crucial to the "can you or can't you" discussion. One child is what made the difference in my ability to keep on doing what I do. If I'd had two or more... not a chance.
Sep 24, 2014 Sarah in Olympia commented on Savage Love.
It seems clear that an open relationship, to the LW, means "I get to fuck someone else, but you don't." Apologies for not having access to scientific literature, but among the people I know, it is usually the guy who wants to fuck someone else while denying his wife the same freedom.
Sep 15, 2014 Sarah in Olympia commented on SL Letter of the Day: The Right Not To Know.
"So, Mom and Dad, my sister was snooping and found out something about our sex lives. She is threatening blackmail now and wants to drag you both into my private life by telling you things that my partner and I are not interested in sharing publicly. I would love your advice about this. I mean, I can tell you myself, but as I said, it's private. I'm not sure what she hopes to gain by telling you. What should I do?"
Sep 14, 2014 Sarah in Olympia commented on Climate Change.
For once, just ONCE, we're having a perfect summer. I wouldn't trade a single day of it. Thank you, Bay Area, for the loan of your beautiful weather without your smog.
Aug 22, 2014 Sarah in Olympia commented on SL Letter of the Day: For Better or Worse.
Start the divorce proceedings NOW. I waited several decades and did everything I could to interest my husband in me, in our beautiful child, and in himself. He was terribly underemployed and showed no interest in anything except puttering around the house and pronouncing judgments on everything I was doing wrong. It took a long time to end the marriage, but oh God, I am so very very glad that I did! By the time our separation was final (prior to the divorce) he was already sponging off some other woman. It felt great to wash my financial, emotional, and sexual hands of him. Everything has been better since then! It can be for you too!
Jun 10, 2014 Sarah in Olympia commented on Savage Love.
LW#1, this is your 54-year-old self telling you that you will have ENDLESS (ENDLESS!!) opportunities to have sex your whole life. You will be rejected and you will be welcomed. You will be doing both the rejecting and the welcoming as well. You will find sex to be creative and intimate and annoying and messy all at the same time.

And while having sex in your teens and 20s will be a blast, you will really hit your stride by your mid-to-late 30s. By the time you're in your 50s and having sex nearly every day with your hot lover who thinks you're both brilliant and beautiful, you will never stop counting your lucky stars. But you probably won't get to this point without a bunch of rejections, starting now. Be smart and develop a brave attitude, because if he does reject you, there will be others. Many others. Hang in there! Be brave!
Feb 5, 2014 Sarah in Olympia commented on Stupid Irish Homophobes and Their Big Homophobic Fail.
Anyone who pays attention to Ireland is all over this story. Panti Bliss is getting HUGE mileage from this moment (yay!), but more importantly, this is going to mark a sea-change in Ireland's profound homophobia. As Catholicism there continues its inexorable shift from top-down, thou-shalt-not doctrine toward a more vernacular Catholicism, it is moments like this that will serve to define Ireland's new set of ideas. Pope Francis is also having a huge impact there. It's very exciting to watch!
Oct 29, 2013 Sarah in Olympia commented on Anybody Ever Been to Tucson?.
Gentle touch on your shoulder, Dan.