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Sarah in Olympia

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4:33 PM yesterday Sarah in Olympia commented on It's Spring! Who's Ready for Street Harassment?.

People who have more power - by dint of their physical strength, societally-conferred racial advantages, or economic clout - often have difficulty recognizing the pervasiveness of that power. For those of us on the other side of that equation (and who have to deal with the possibility of violence on a daily basis), our wariness comes from hard experience. Escalation from "compliment" to violence can and does happen in a heartbeat.

May 19 Sarah in Olympia commented on SL Letter of the Day: Living Discomfortably.

It is MUCH easier to use the word "boundaries" than to come right out and say "Dude, I would rather fuck a Wookiee." For example, you might say "I need to keep the boundaries clear between us. I want us to only be roommates. Are you okay with that? Thanks." I've used variations on that line for years, and it has always worked extremely well with no hurt feelings involved. Hell, people have used it on me and I haven't felt hurt.

May 10 Sarah in Olympia commented on SL Letter of the Day: I'm Out.

What 21 said. It's a power word with overwhelming symbolic weight. You just don't get to use it. And I would never use it either.

May 8 Sarah in Olympia commented on SL Letter of the Day: What Kind of Straight Guys Watch Gay Porn?.

@59/nocutename, thank you for putting my exact thoughts into words. I couldn't agree with you more!

I like gay porn because - unlike in straight porn - I don't have to look at a woman with a far superior body to mine who doesn't appear to be having any kind of a good time.

Apr 30 Sarah in Olympia commented on Savage Love.

Being 23 and in love is radically different from being 33 and in love. I recommend letting go of her WITH YOUR LESSONS NEWLY LEARNED, getting a life/job/healthy worldview under your belt for at least five years, and then thinking about a relationship.

Apr 29 Sarah in Olympia commented on R.I.P. Joko's Indonesian Kitchen.

I definitely ate there, and loved it! At least we still have the Indo Cafe up at Northgate!

Apr 28 Sarah in Olympia commented on SL Letter of the Day: Mixed Signals.

Heading back to the letter now...

Mixed signals = he's just not that into you.

I had several cheerful, interesting dates in a row with a guy in a (large) music group that I'm in. He didn't contact me after that. I mourned for about two seconds, then realized that he's just not into me, and moved on.

I think it's appropriate to tell someone who is laying it on thick but not following through that the mixed signal stuff is just plain wearing you out. And move on.

Apr 23 Sarah in Olympia commented on SL Letter of the Day: Mate Or Mat?.

Does it matter whether TED's letter is fake? The situation is incredibly common. Divorce is not the end of the world; my ex and I are ever so much happier now that we are divorced, and so is our high-school-age kid -- who congratulated us on our decision and said it was "about time."

I urge anyone in this situation to consider divorce, spend a year dating all kinds of people because it's WAY too soon to find your next life partner, spend another year just recovering and rediscovering yourself and all the things that are important to you, and only THEN be open to a new partner.

The man who -- like SO MANY OTHER MEN -- finds himself in a committed relationship one week after moving out from his marriage is moving way too soon. I have met a number of men in this situation, and most of them are interested in cheating on their new partner because they acted too quickly in the heady post-separation/post-divorce month. Relax! Enjoy being single!

Mar 15 Sarah in Olympia commented on Which Is The Best Star Trek Series?.

I grew up in the 60s (in Berkeley, no less) and I watched TOS while the whole chaos of People's Park and civil rights and all that was going on. What TOS taught me was that the only way to be on a starship, as a woman, was to show a LOT of leg (right up to my crotch, thank you very much), to have pointy boobs and false eyelashes, and to fuck the most powerful person in the room within 20 minutes of meeting him. Thanks for nothing, TOS.

TNG had my favorite plotlines (The Inner Light, Parallels), but it was so uncompromisingly male (men and more men and more men). Sigh. And then, DS9 had that moment when Kira and Jadzia are fighting the Cardassians, from a runabout, like bad-ass warriors. That was a great moment for me. That was the moment when I let go of my jaded sense of "ST women are eye candy and the real work was done only by the male humans and aliens." That moment destroyed it (and they beat the Cardassians, too).

Mar 5 Sarah in Olympia commented on SL Letter of the Day: You've Been Dumped, Dude.

The issue of high libido vs. low libido is HUGE. People on both sides of the issue underestimate its importance most of the time, or at least that's what it seems like. If you are faced with this issue in your relationship, don't bother writing to Dan. Accept that it's a total deal breaker.