Nov 20, 2012
pragmat commented on Savage Love.
And now I've gotten confirmation that this is not my 30 year old straight male friend. It's his situation to a T, though. Weird! I hope some of what I said is helpful, though- it's not worth giving up until you've actually tried.
Nov 20, 2012
pragmat commented on Savage Love.
@10 Contingent on Polymath being who I think he is, his wife hasn't actually realistically considered an open relationship and has very limited sex/dating experience. Attending a swinger's club just for shits and giggles would at the very least demonstrate to her how committed couples can appreciate extramarital sex. We shouldn't necessarily assume that everyone who draws a line about their acceptable number of sex partners are actually making an informed decision and that they aren't ever going to change.
Nov 20, 2012
pragmat commented on Savage Love.
Huh, somehow it posted the first part of my advice earlier. Not sure if I care if it gets deleted.
Nov 20, 2012
pragmat commented on Savage Love.
Though it is written to describe a lot of people, I'm fairly certain I know the actual Polyamorous Polymath. If this is the case, here is my advice:
Start with small requests. You need her to understand that you will strive to be just as physically and emotionally intimate even while living more in line with what you would like. Heck, you can even phrase it as if you'll probably get turned off by it after an experience or two. Be flexible to whatever amount of involvement she would prefer. Research nearby swingers clubs, where there is no obligation to partake. If she is still unwilling to entertain the smallest of requests, then there are some other major issues besides sexual preference that you need to work on.
Considering how much and how long you've sacrificed for her happiness, the very least she can do for you is give you a chance to try to find satisfaction. Do the best you can to generally get your needs met before you make any life altering decisions (i.e. kids).
BTW, I want the Polyamorous Polymath to contact me sometime.
Start with small requests. You need her to understand that you will strive to be just as physically and emotionally intimate even while living more in line with what you would like. Heck, you can even phrase it as if you'll probably get turned off by it after an experience or two. Be flexible to whatever amount of involvement she would prefer. Research nearby swingers clubs, where there is no obligation to partake. If she is still unwilling to entertain the smallest of requests, then there are some other major issues besides sexual preference that you need to work on.
Considering how much and how long you've sacrificed for her happiness, the very least she can do for you is give you a chance to try to find satisfaction. Do the best you can to generally get your needs met before you make any life altering decisions (i.e. kids).
BTW, I want the Polyamorous Polymath to contact me sometime.
Nov 20, 2012
pragmat joined My Stranger Face
Nov 20, 2012
pragmat commented on Savage Love.
Though it is written to describe a lot of people, I think I know the actual Polyamorous Polymath. If that's the case, here is my suggestion: start with very small requests.
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